Emotionally Mature People: 6 Traits That Define Them
Although there is a lot of talk about the distinction between mature people and immature people In practice, we don’t usually know very well what we are referring to. We sense that it has something to do with whether or not we have taken the step towards adulthood, but there is a lot of controversy about what exactly maturing consists of.
For example, someone may think that maturity is reached by entering a state in which we learn to let go of things and see everything from a certain distance, while for others, it means beginning to engage with the world and let go. individualism and selfishness. In short, each person identifies maturity with the ethical horizon they aspire to reach one day.
Furthermore, in most conversations about it, it is not very clear that behaving like adults is always the most desirable. Aren’t there aspects of childhood and adolescence that are highly valued? For example, spontaneity, curiosity or the relative lack of prejudices are always seen as psychological aspects of the little ones that we should imitate.
Can you find a conception of what they are? emotionally mature people that is more consistent than what we usually do when speaking? Actually, yes.
Various research has shown that one of the traits that most distinguishes mature people and young children is delay of gratification, the ability to think about objectives that we want to achieve in the medium or long term For example, when you are very young it is much more difficult to refrain from reaching for a candy and eating it even though we have been informed that if after a few minutes we are not tempted they will give us many more prizes like that.
This is due, in part, to the way our nervous system matures: at first, the interconnections between neurons located in distant areas of the brain are relatively few, so we can only think in a non-abstract way, that is, , in goals that are not very concrete and have nothing significant beyond immediate pleasure.
As we grow, the areas of the brain become more connected to each other through the white matter, so our ability to think abstractly improves and, with it, our propensity to take into account long-term and broader-range goals. broad. However, even in adults there are individual differences between those who bet everything on the ephemeral and those who try to make their lives based on something more transcendent.
From this information, it is possible to understand what emotional maturity really consists of applied to how we relate to our goals and to other people. Approximately, emotionally mature people are like this:
1. They accept emotional commitments
It is not mandatory to make any emotional relationship governed by the rules that characterize monogamy. However, emotionally mature people They ensure that their closest relationships are sustained by a series of commitments that will avoid situations of indirect emotional blackmail. The important thing for these people is to reject unilateralism.
2. They are not afraid of love
Emotionally mature people are able to not obsess over unfounded fears about what may happen in the long term, because they learn not to overestimate the opportunity cost (what we are supposedly missing out on by doing what we are doing).
Thus, they are not afraid of the possibility of becoming emotionally involved with someone. After all, have a complete, global and realistic vision of what will happen to us in the future It means not idealizing or torturing yourself for not experiencing things that very possibly would not have happened either.
3. They know how to express their priorities
A good part of what it means to know how to regulate one’s emotions and desires when establishing priorities in life consists of knowing how to communicate to others consistently what you want to do Those who really know that his scale of values and what motivates him are something legitimate and worthy, do not hide it.
4. They value friendships for themselves, not as an instrument
For emotionally mature people, the ties of friendship that unite them with others are something that deserves to be cultivated, investing time and effort in them.
This is because friendship is always something more than those specific moments of chatting and fun with friends, something that anyone can appreciate in a superficial way; They are projects that unfold over time and, consequently, mean something. A friend cannot be replaced
Therefore, those who are mature stop investing time in relationships that mean nothing, even if the environment pressures them to stay with certain people, and concentrate on those that do fulfill them.
5. They confront emotional contradictions directly
Emotions are by definition irrational, and that is why they frequently contradict each other; It is something that also happens in mature people. What distinguishes the latter from the rest is that they face these situations directly, recognizing that they feel something complex, instead of acting as if the problem did not exist and try to direct attention towards futile distractions. In this way, they are able to take control of the situation sooner, which means they benefit in the long term.
Procrastination, which is the tendency to leave for another day what can be done in the present, is common in many people. Emotionally mature people by not giving in to immediate temptations if this harms them in the medium and long term they do not let these situations get out of control and attend to their responsibilities and obligations when necessary.
