How To Ask For Forgiveness: 7 Keys To Overcome Pride
Know how to ask for forgiveness when the moment requires it It is one of those skills that, no matter how simple they may seem, make a difference in personal relationships. And there are people who experience serious problems when it comes to apologizing, even if the other person is someone they love and trust.
But, as with many other skills, it is possible to learn how to ask for forgiveness from someone you love or even someone with whom you have a more formal or professional relationship. Next We will see what are the keys to achieve it
To learn to apologize, you have to modify certain habits and beliefs related to self-image and expectations about how social relationships should be. Let’s look at it in depth.
1. Internalize the idea that no one is perfect
Many people who experience difficulty in actually apologizing They have unrealistic expectations about how they should be perceived by others.
Specifically, they are excessively perfectionist, and they reject the idea of asking for forgiveness because they see this as a staging of their own failure. That is, an action that, when seen by more people, makes something subjective (“I have reasons to ask for forgiveness”) become objectified.
Thus, asking for forgiveness from someone involves making an effort that, at the same time, contradicts one’s own self-image, very idealized
However, it must be clear that no one is perfect. Even the great historical figures, the most admired, seen from the present are full of mistakes, even mistakes that today’s children would not make.
2. Get out of the self-criticism loop
Many people begin to judge themselves cruelly for not asking for forgiveness. However, this is on the one hand unnecessary and unreasonable, and on the other hand an excuse for the absence of a proper apology. That is to say, It is a strategy to purge responsibilities without having to ask for forgiveness and keeping everything “behind closed doors”, without anyone other than oneself being able to benefit from this.
That’s why it’s important to recognize this thought routine for what it is: an excuse. We must break this cognitive ritual.
3. Practice accepting error
Acceptance of error is the most mature attitude. No one can escape mistakes, as we have seen.
Therefore, it is good that you get used to carrying out small apology rituals, even if at first it is just asking for forgiveness for the small things of everyday life. The very fact of doing this repeatedly, progressively increasing the importance of the context in which we apologize, predisposes us to continue doing it spontaneously
4. Train empathy
It is crucial that you dedicate efforts to empathize, put yourself in the other person’s shoes cognitively and emotionally To do this, do just that: imagine that you are that person and that you see things from their point of view. If you get used to doing this in moments with significant emotional charge, little by little it will be less difficult for you to empathize spontaneously.
He who intends to ask for forgiveness but does not succeed, surely does not see either. the magnitude of the damage and inconvenience it has caused In some ways, one’s own pride is more important than acknowledging to the other person that they are in an unfair situation.
That is why we must stop and reflect on the damage that has been done; not only in the most superficial and apparent, but also in the details and indirect effects that our actions have caused.
For example, arriving very late to a meeting doesn’t just mean spending a few uncomfortable minutes waiting; It also means losing part of the day, or even being left in a vulnerable situation if it is a meeting with potential clients, for example.
6. Make a simple script
The first few times you try to say sorry, trying to make everything go as it should, you may experience a relatively high degree of anxiety This state of activation can cause you to fall into a somewhat chaotic and disorganized pattern of behavior.
That is why it is best to performr a short script about what you have to say and do Of course, it should be very simple and brief, with two or three ideas in one line, and nothing more. If you write down literally everything you want to say, this may cause you even more stress, since remembering everything is extra work that you don’t really have to do.
Simply remember the ideas that structure your apology and express them as they come to you at the moment. It probably won’t turn out perfect, but this is normal.
Seeing how the other person reacts after we have apologized is, although it may not seem like it, the most important part of the process of learning to say sorry. The reason is that in reality this It’s not something we do for ourselves, but for the other person. That’s why his point of view will help us iron out the imperfections in our way of communicating and will allow us to help others with whatever they need at that moment to feel better.
