The world of pornography moves millions, being one of the most profitable industries globally. Although in the past it was considered something shameful, today there are few people who have never seen any type of pornographic material. But since its inception, controversy and debate has been generated regarding the effects that its consumption can have, especially within the couple.
To some people it seems like a betrayal similar to infidelity that their romantic partner watches pornographic videos or that they believe that they do it because they are already loved for it. Is this true? Does porn destroy the quality of relationships? Let’s start by defining what we are talking about, which is often confused.
As most people already know, porn or ponography is that set of works or representations of explicit sexual content that are generated with the purpose of arousing or satisfying their viewers.
Although currently the consumption of pornography is mostly through the Internet and is based on audiovisual content in the form of videos All types of stimuli that meet the characteristics described above are also considered as such. Thus, we can find pornographic photographs or magazines or even written stories.
But we must distinguish pornography from eroticism. While eroticism also tries in part to provoke the attraction of the user through insinuation (which may or may not include full nudity and sexual attitudes) and may be linked to the artistic, in the case of pornography it is shown in its entirety with the basic purpose of obtaining sexual gratification. It is also important to keep in mind that what is considered pornographic can vary enormously between cultures, between subjects from the same culture or even at different times for the same subject.
Once the concept of pornography is visualized, we can see what effects porn has on the couple’s world.
Effects of porn on relationships
Since the emergence of pornography and the study of its effects on the population that consumes it, controversy has arisen about how it can affect the functioning of a couple
The answer to how pornography consumption can affect a relationship depends largely on the characteristics and considerations of each of its components. There are people who They continue to see pornography consumption as a betrayal or something worrying that translates into a lack of desire towards the person themselves. The reason for this conflict is usually insecurity, the fear of losing a partner or of not being wanted.
In this sense, a study carried out in 1989 stated that male consumers of these products ended up feeling less sexual and emotional interest by their partners, considering them less attractive in comparison. However, although this study had broad repercussions, it was carried out with a very small sample that did not really allow generalization of the results.
A more recent conclusion
More recently, this study has been replicated with a much larger sample. Through several trials, we have attempted to evaluate the impact of viewing pornography and its effect on the attraction and feelings of those analyzed regarding their partners.
The results have reflected that there is no relationship between both factors. In this way, the consumption of pornography can be considered no (as long as there are no factors such as addiction or it is used as a means of avoidance and escape from reality on a frequent basis) does not generate a decrease in desire or esteem for the partner
Likewise, it must be taken into account that the consideration given to sex and sexuality in general have evolved throughout history, with increasing information and presence of elements of a sexual nature in our daily lives. This means that over time things like pornography consumption have become much more widespread and normalized, so the idea that one of the members of the couple watches porn is not so strange and is less likely to be experienced in a negative.
In fact, nowadays pornography consumption can even be beneficial for many couples.
And unless it is used as the only means of sexual learning, porn can provide numerous ideas regarding ways to enjoy sexuality in different ways than usual. There are couples who view this type of materials together, using them as a way to stimulate yourself and increase libido at the same time it provides them with ideas regarding different games and ways to enjoy their sexuality together. At an individual level it can stimulate imagination and desire.
Likewise, pornography generally integrates aspects and people of different origins and orientations. It can help break certain taboos, as well as in some cases can help some people get to know their own body (for example in aspects such as female masturbation, which even today continues to be a certain taboo for some people) and ways to stimulate it.
It can also be used as a tool to make explicit and communicate desires and fantasies that would not normally be expressed. In fact, it is sometimes recommended in some marital therapies, since it helps to learn and share moments of physical and mental stimulation together.
Situations in which it can be harmful
While pornography consumption is not negative nor does it have to cause damage to the relationship, as is the case with most things can be negative if used in a dysfunctional way or excessively
This is what happens in those people who turn to porn as an escape route from problems with their partner, using it to get away and not face conflicts. The same occurs with very withdrawn people with poor social skills who may resort to these materials as a compensation mechanism, limiting their interaction. In these cases, the existence of low mood and self-esteem and the use of pornography can only be recorded. generates temporary relief to later reduce mood
Likewise, for some people porn can be addictive. And as with any addiction, we find ourselves with frequent and prolonged consumption of a stimulus of which over time a greater and greater quantity is needed to obtain the same effects. The subject may spend excessive time and limit her interactions with the environment (including her partner) and leave aside other responsibilities and activities. In addition, The withdrawal or absence of this can cause high anxiety, irritability and hostility that can end up causing serious damage to the relationship.
Other adverse effects
Another case in which it can be harmful is when porn is used as the only means of sexual learning. It must be taken into account that the world of pornography reflects sexual relationships between actors and actresses who tend to stand out for their physique and sexual attributes, relationships that also have specific characteristics (high duration and intensity, specific roles and attitudes during relationships…) and that focus on genitalia
In this way, certain stimuli and ways of proceeding are normalized that can cause expectations of what a satisfactory sexual relationship entails that can later be difficult to fulfill in reality. There is also the risk of ignore and trivialize emotional aspects and penetration may only be identified with obtaining satisfaction, without taking into account other activities that may be erotic and pleasurable such as massages, kisses, games or caresses.
