Vengeful People: 10 Characteristics And Traits That Define What They Are Like
Surely, at some point in our lives, we have all been hurt and have felt the urge to take revenge As the saying goes, “revenge is a dish best served cold”, it is best not to act impulsively. Furthermore, after the initial anger, we often accept the situation and put aside the idea of revenge.
However, there are individuals who are spiteful and vengeful. In this article we will talk about them and review their main characteristics.
Resentment and revenge are feelings and actions that can be harmful not only to the person who is the victim, but also to the subject who is vengeful and resentful. And although these terms are often confused, they are not the same.
Resentment appears after moral damage, when we feel that something offends us and we want revenge, we want to pay another with the same coin, the famous “eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth.” Now, when this revenge does not materialize, it remains a simple resentment, since resentment is a thought and revenge is an action, that is, when we behave in a hostile manner and we want the other person to suffer the consequences of having hurt us. Although they are different phenomena, they go hand in hand.
But, What are vengeful subjects like? What characteristics do they have?
In the following lines we answer these questions.
1. Lack of empathy
Lack of empathy is a characteristic of vengeful people. This does not mean that they do not show empathy with some close friends, but When anger appears, empathy disappears
Studies suggest that to harm another person we must see them as a threat and not empathize with them. This is a trait that psychopaths show, as you can see in our article “Psychological profile of a psychopath, in 12 unmistakable traits.”
2. Poor capacity for self-knowledge
These individuals are usually people with a poor capacity for emotional self-knowledge who are unable to detect when they feel anger and when they are about to explode as a result of resentment.
Resentment makes the person miserable, and instead of focusing on oneself and accepting the situation, it makes them live in a vicious circle in which they need to hurt the other person.
3. Poor emotional management
Poor emotional management capacity is accompanied by poor management of emotions because if resentment and thoughts of revenge are not detected, it is difficult to avoid it.
We have all felt great pain at times and we have wanted the person who caused it to suffer it personally, but not all of us act and take revenge, because we know that in the long run it does not benefit us and can harm us.
4. They believe they have the absolute truth
They are usually individuals who believe that their truth is the absolute truth and that they do not make mistakes. They are intolerant and have rigid thinking. They feel offended at the slightest, when someone does not act or think like them They may seem good but they hide great aggression if things are not the way they want.
This mental rigidity leads them to have dichotomous thinking, in which everything is good or bad They don’t see the nuances that can exist in life and interpersonal relationships.
For example, when a love relationship goes through a bad moment due to the lack of dialogue (and the other person doubts), they may want to take revenge on their partner instead of understanding that the situation and continuous conflicts can often lead us to be confused. What is needed in those moments is to communicate and be empathetic, not vengeful.
6. They do not forgive and they do not forget
Vengeful people are spiteful people because they do not forget By having the dichotomous thinking that I talked about in the previous point, they do not accept the situation that they see as a threat.
By not forgiving, they live anchored in the past, far from the present, which is where a person’s well-being lies. Although sometimes we are not aware of it, forgiving has many benefits and is key to our emotional balance. We explain it to you in our article “Forgiveness: should I or should I not forgive the person who hurt me?”
7. They don’t learn from the past
Therefore, They are individuals who live in the past, remembering the event that hurt them over and over again Bad past experiences are great opportunities to grow, but it is necessary to take advantage of them and not take them personally. Otherwise, it is impossible to move forward.
8. They are proud people
Vengeful people are usually proud people, who think that others are attacking them This causes a defensive attitude that does not favor the smooth running of interpersonal relationships.
Despite appearing strong, in reality, they are appearing weak, because when one has confidence in oneself, one accepts the situation and moves forward.
9. They live an eternal drama
There are people who go through life with optimism, who face the obstacles they encounter along the way and turn the page once overcome. But these types of people keep resentment and revenge deep inside and continually relive it. Instead of getting over it and moving on with his life, they recreate the facts over and over again
10. They are insecure
Self-confident people do not give more importance to the events that affect them They may be upset when a personal relationship has bad moments, but then they move on. They live their lives to the fullest, because they know that they must follow their path to achieve personal development and the goals they want to achieve.
Being vengeful is wanting to harm other people and diverts the individual from the path they should follow to be happy. Revenge may seem like a good option at a certain moment, but in the long run it can be harmful.
