Permissive Families: The 4 Risks Of This Type Of Parenting
Being parents is not an easy task; it is common to constantly doubt whether one is being too permissive or too strict regarding the behavior of one’s children. However, as parents you must exercise a degree of authority that may vary depending on the context.
In relation to this type of authority, there are three parenting styles that vary according to the level of permissiveness and power that parents exercise over their children. In this article, we will talk about permissive families ; What they consist of, what children are like and what disadvantages or mistakes can be made in this type of parenting.
There are different forms or styles of parenting which parents can choose according to their personal characteristics, life priorities or according to the environment that surrounds them.
These types of styles are authoritarian or democratic parenting, in which there are a series of more or less rigid parenting norms and rules, or the permissive parenting style, which concerns us in this article, and which is characterized by leave a great margin of freedom to the behavior of young sons and daughters
Permissive families are considered the complete opposite of the authoritarian parenting style. In these cases, parents exercise little or no control over their children’s behavior, letting them make their own decisions in everything, even when it is not possible for them to have sufficient reasoning to do so.
However, it is not about letting children follow their instincts, ignoring them or not caring about their needs. Fathers and mothers who are members of permissive families tend to be very affectionate always showing his emotions and thoughts to his children.
Along these lines, another point that characterizes these families is the fluidity in communication between their members; sometimes becoming excessive in terms of the level of adequacy of certain information. It is common for children to be treated as equals, regardless of their age, which sometimes precipitates conversations or statements that are disproportionate to their age and reasoning capacity.
Characteristics of children
Compared to children raised in other types of environments or with other types of upbringing, children from permissive families tend to be more cheerful and happy; at least initially. However, over time tend to develop low self-esteem because they do not know how to deal with tasks appropriate to their abilities.
Furthermore, the fact of having been raised without any type of schemes or guides for social interaction presents many problems when communicating or relating to other people, being too insistent and, at times, somewhat uncontrolled.
Upon reaching adolescence, an already difficult stage for any child, They tend to transgress any type of social norm, carrying out a constant search for external limits.
Parenting errors in permissive families
Parents are above all people, and as such they are susceptible to making certain permissible errors in the education of their children. However, there are parenting styles, such as permissive families, that tend to present more errors or disadvantages than others in which a minimum of rules are applied to the child.
These parenting errors have to do with granting any wish that the child requests at any time, the association of the feeling of happiness with the satisfaction of these wishes, the lack of acceptance of some emotions such as disappointment or sadness. and a decrease in the child’s self-esteem
1. Grant all the wishes of the child
Granting your children any desire or demand that they express can lead to the development and enhancement of a low tolerance for frustration, as long as these desires are only resolved at home.
The moment the child discovers that he will not always be able to get everything he wants, frustration can turn into irritability, aggression and low self-esteem and furthermore, you will not be able to understand the limits and authority figures present in other external spheres.
These desires can range from wanting to play more hours than established, going to bed late at night, watching certain television programs or even wanting parents to buy them anything or take them to a certain place.
2. Associate happiness with the satisfaction of desires
These children tend to believe that other people have the obligation to fulfill their wishes or desires, since it is practically the only thing they know. Therefore, they will live with a constant need to get something since this is the only thing that will bring you happiness
Furthermore, in the long run this will affect the relationship between parents and children since, surely, at some point these parents will not be able to monopolize all their desires.
When the child learns to live surrounded by satisfactory feelings and without any contact with less rewarding emotions, but necessary for good psychological functioning, tolerance to negative feelings such as sadness or disappointment is eliminated
This fact will mean that the child will try, by all possible means, not to experience these emotions since they will be absolutely unbearable for him.
As a consequence, it is very likely that he will end up carrying out destructive and harmful behaviors for himself.
4. Lack of discipline, self-control and self-esteem
Children raised in environments without any type of discipline will not be able to develop the ability to establish their own limits and therefore, both in adolescence and adulthood, they will experience serious difficulties in achieving their goals or objectives; since discipline and self-control will be something foreign to them
These problems in self-regulation and in achieving one’s goals will also have a negative impact on the person’s self-esteem. Decreasing your ability to value yourself positively.
