The 5 Problems Of Breakups, And How To Deal With Them
Breakups are often a drama. You see how the love story that had been lived comes to an end, and that not only changes our perspective about what our future is going to be like, but also It makes us rethink what the true nature of the relationship has been that we have shared with the other person.
Of course, the emotional impact of breaking up with your partner can be overwhelming; It is a kind of wall of new feelings that hits us almost suddenly, if we are the ones who decide to break up, or in an instant, if it is the other person who breaks up with us. However, that does not mean that various challenges and problems (both psychological and material) to face in a relationship breakup cannot be recognized.
Taking this blow to our emotions and recognizing different problems that are relatively separate from each other can be helpful when recovering from a breakup.
Let’s see what are some of these challenges that emotional breakups entail and how to deal with them so we can move forward with our lives.
1. The breakup affects self-image
Seeing yourself so affected by a breakup can damage your self-image. Ultimately, over a period that can last days or weeks, we notice how we transform into a more emotionally vulnerable person with a greater propensity to cry and, at times, more isolated and alone.
If you are accustomed to living with a self-esteem that gives us a very idealized vision of ourselves (and related to the values and characteristics most valued by our culture, which tend to have in high esteem the hardness of character and autonomy) This experience can also harm us in this sense
The way to overcome this is to learn to accept this aspect of our personality as something unique and human, something that also defines us. Reconciling with our most emotional side is essential.
2. Friendship with the other person can be lost
Breakups are also difficult because they force us to consider a painful dilemma: How do we relate to the other person from now on?
The indecision between not knowing whether to permanently cut contact or maintain a friendly relationship is aggravated by the fact of not knowing if we will be able to carry out either of these two options. And, of course, to that we have to add that we have to respect the decisions made by the ex-partner in this regard.
It is recommended that, by default, After a brief period in which contact is not maintained, some weekly contact with the other person is resumed (if both agree) and decide how the relationship will continue depending on what each person experiences. In this way we will not be subject to social conventions and we will make the relationship with this person adapt to what each person honestly feels.
Related article: “6 problems and 6 advantages of getting back with your ex-partner”
3. It appears a lot of time to fill with something
One of the things that makes breakups painful is that the routine to which we were accustomed is broken If the breakup is total and we do not maintain contact with the ex-partner, the feeling of loneliness can dominate a good part of our daily lives unless we do something about it.
One of the keys to mitigating this problem and moving little by little towards the normalization of being single is to force yourself to socialize with other people, even if that is uncomfortable for us. To do this, it is good to rely on friends, but you do not necessarily have to depend on them: the point is to get out of your comfort zone and lose the fear of starting new conversations with new people. If we do not force ourselves, it is very possible that we will remain for a long time in a state of inactivity in which melancholy, boredom and, perhaps, obsessive behaviors are mixed.
Finding new hobbies is also very positive but we must try to ensure that these do not isolate us more and more.
4. Mutual friends could also get lost
If the couple’s relationship has lasted long enough and has been connected to a more or less rich social life, it is most likely that both members have come to strengthen ties with mutual friends, the partner’s and oneself. Cutting off the relationship can jeopardize these ties if you opt for total or partial incommunication with the other person However, it is worth valuing that many of these friendships have value in themselves, and not only within the community formed around the relationship from which we have left.
As always, communication and honesty are essential here But we also have to examine ourselves and ask ourselves if what it really means to maintain a friendship or have a channel of communication with the ex-partner.
In most cases, the sadness related to a breakup tends to disappear over time. This seems like a good thing, and in many cases it is, but it can also be double-edged, since It makes us wonder what the relationship we have been through really meant
If we perceive that we have recovered “excessively quickly” from the breakup, this can make us feel bad, not seeing a way to see how significant this relationship was, and believing that time has been wasted or that a lie has been lived.. This is a very subtle type of pain, related to existential crises.
There is no simple way to face this challenge that we face when we look back and reformulate what we experienced during the time we lived with the other person: Everyone has to find a way to reconcile with their past And this is bad and good at the same time.
