​The Epidemic Of Loneliness, And What We Can Do To Combat It

Human beings have a predisposition to feel alone from time to time, whatever our life is like, whether we are introverted or extraverted. This is because we are social animals, and it is very easy for us to suffer discomfort at any given moment from not being able to connect with someone as much as we would like. It is normal.

However, the feeling of loneliness can be accentuated by social phenomena, and that is precisely what has been happening in recent decades. In fact, since the 1980s the number of Americans who say they have no close friends has tripled, and The most common answer to the question “how many true friends do you have?” is “zero”

This trend has also been found in many other countries in the West that, despite having popularized the use of social networks, seem to pose serious problems for its inhabitants when it comes to finding faithful friends. This is a real epidemic of loneliness

The scarcity of friends and its psychological effects

The downside of paying so much attention to the number of friends added on Facebook is that it is very easy to stop paying attention to the quality of these relationships In that sense, it is not surprising that although last year the average number of friends that each user has on their Facebook profile was around 330, the majority of Americans say they have at most only one confidant.

Why has this epidemic of loneliness appeared? It must be taken into account that the criticisms that are often made about smartphones and social networks as culprits for this do not have much basis. They may contribute to covering up this problem of lack of contact between people, but they are not at its root. In fact, what happened possibly has to do with the development of a way of thinking, and not so much with a habit of technological consumption.

This way of thinking that isolates us more from the rest and makes us more frequent the warm waters of loneliness is individualism and, fundamentally, the idea that we must stand out above others. The reason for this is that it makes us enter into a logic according to which personal relationships are an instrument

The epidemic of loneliness and individualism

Imagine that you are a person whose main goal is gain power to be able to stand out above the crowd

Advertising ads sell you beauty ideals that you can use to distinguish yourself from the rest. Leisure services constantly tempt you with the concept of exclusivity, the meaning of which is, basically, that few people can access it, as if that spoke about the value of their product (and by extension, your value as a consumer of it). Business training plans talk about the importance of teamwork, but ultimately what they sell is the need to be your own boss and improve yourself by overcoming obstacles (whatever they may be) to build a good future for yourself. And the dominant discourse on the Internet aimed at young people, of course, is that the important thing is to be visible, to be someone relevant.

Now ask yourself if with that mental framework you wouldn’t mix a good part of your personal and informal relationships with that power accumulation project. A project that, on the other hand, does not aim to create good living conditions, but rather to have the ability to control one’s own life to prevent harm from outside. In individualism, even the goal we set for ourselves is part of the individualistic mentality.

All of these aspects of individualism lead us to the same conclusion: life may be an exciting place in the future, but In the present what you have to experience is prudential loneliness Nobody looks out for anyone and there are no ties of solidarity because everyone tries to make the most of their lives from the resources they have access to. In this constant emergency situation, building genuine friendships is something that makes no sense.

What can you do to connect better with others?

Of course, not everyone is extremely individualistic, but that does not mean that we are infected with this philosophy when developing lifestyle habits. The simple fact of living in a world where this way of thinking is advertised makes us imitate its precepts, even if we only believe them to a certain extent. Simply put, everyone does it.

Curiously, this simple fact already gives us a clue about what we can do to combat the epidemic of loneliness: lift that veil of appearances and reject the imposition of individualism in a collective and supportive manner. How to do it? Although it may sound unglamorous, a good option is to show our own vulnerabilities to others

Giving proof that we really believe in a philosophy of life based on authentic bonds of friendship and solidarity shatters the idea that “life is a jungle.” It may be difficult at first (all small personal and collective revolutions do), but the fruits of this can be very sweet as we see how, little by little, others begin to look at us beyond the illusion of distrust.