In our daily lives it is common to talk about reverse psychology We understand that it is about getting a person to do something by telling them to do the opposite. However, we know that not all expressions in everyday language mean something in psychological terms.
Does reverse psychology exist? Is this a myth or a real form of influence? To what extent is it useful? Next we examine What is the psychological interpretation of this phenomenon? and we test its persuasive power.
Reverse psychology is a strategic form of social influence It is an indirect influence technique that consists of pretending to have a position opposite to what we really have in order to provoke a reaction in the other that favors us. Let’s illustrate it in the following way:
Imagine that you go out to dinner with your partner and you have to decide where to go. There are two options: restaurant A (a Japanese) and restaurant B (a Mexican). Today you have an appetite for Japanese and you want to convince your partner to go to this one. If you know that your partner is a person who generally tends to accept your proposals, the most appropriate strategy will be a direct approach. It will be enough to communicate your preferences and give some argument about it. Since he is a person who usually agrees, you will most likely go to Japanese.
However, if you anticipate that your partner is a person who tends to be combative, discusses the decisions you make, and is difficult to reach agreements with that person, communicating your preferences directly may backfire. Instead, it may be a better option to say that you prefer to go to restaurant B and give some weak arguments about it, so that your partner will throw them at you and you agree to go to restaurant A, your true preference.
We can highlight two main uses of reverse psychology The first has to do with persuasion, and is as described in the previous example. The objective of this technique is nothing more than to guide the other towards the decision that we secretly most want. The second use has to do with seeking validation.
Typically, when we want another person to give us approval about something we have done because we feel insecure, we attack ourselves out loud with verbalizations like “this dish turned out terrible for me.” This generates in the other a need to disconfirm this information and calms our insecurity.
Mechanisms of reverse psychology
reverse psychology It is a persuasive technique that works through psychological reactance Reactance is defined as a reaction that aims to restore freedom or control over a situation when an attack on it is perceived. Four steps occur in this phenomenon: the person perceives that they have freedom, they perceive an attack against them, reactance occurs and subsequently the feeling of control and freedom is restored.
Returning to the case of the restaurant, when our partner perceives that we are trying to persuade her and sees her free will threatened, she reacts by opposing us to regain control. In this way, when we anticipate that psychological reactance will occur, we can plan the direction in which we want the other person to make the decision This is why we say that reverse psychology is an indirect persuasion technique.
Practical applications
The situations in which it is possible to use reverse psychology to advantage are numerous. Since it is a form of influence, it is only usable in a social context. For example, it is common to find dynamics that involve reverse psychology in family environments. Families with teenage children often use this form of influence to introduce intentions to your children that they had not previously contemplated
Reverse psychology even has therapeutic purposes. We have a variation of this principle in a technique called “paradoxical intention.”
In this therapeutic technique, the psychologist prescribes or tells the patient the symptom they are suffering from. For example, in insomnia it is common to carry out this paradoxical intention by telling the client that they should not sleep. This serves several therapeutic purposes, such as breaking the blockage produced by beliefs like “I won’t be able to sleep,” in addition to generating drowsiness through sleep deprivation that will help you fall asleep later. Curiously, most patients are unable to endure an entire night without sleep as instructed.
Negative effects of this persuasion technique
Like any form of persuasion, reverse psychology is not a foolproof technique For it to work, a series of preconditions must occur that favor its occurrence. We must know in advance that the person tends to be reactive.
People who are more belligerent, need control, are used to being dominant, or are generally more emotional are more likely to perceive these attacks on their freedom. The object or issue on which we want to generate reactance must be relevant to the individual. It makes no sense to try to generate opposition over a decision that the other person neither agrees nor agrees with.
There are risks with using reverse psychology, such as it not working as it should. It is possible that the person, even if he is belligerent and it is an issue that matters to him, will agree with us right off the bat. Even successful use of reverse psychology has negative effects. The advantages obtained through influencing others are not satisfactory because we know that we have obtained them artificially and this negatively affects one’s self-concept.
Many of the situations in which we use this technique occur when we want to receive approval from another. In people with worse moods, this search for validation can lead to questioning the source of validation itself because he knows that this person is not giving his opinion honestly, but rather through the provoked reactance that he himself generates.
Finally, although it is an influence technique that can work and be useful, it is better to use it only on rare occasions. Victories taste artificial and can generate dependency towards external validation, in addition to worsening our own self-esteem by feeling that we are not authentic. It is obvious that the optimal way to build a relationship is not through manipulation, but through honesty with each other.
