Where were we before we were born? Normally we don’t remember. It’s normal, although there are people (very rare exceptions) who do remember. And they remember that they were in a state of total happiness. That state of happiness is our natural state, in which there is not yet an ego (“I” other than a “you”) and, therefore, there is no fear.
Nor do we remember what the first moment we came into life was like, that is, the moment we were born. But we can remember births of other people (perhaps our children). We all cry, and it is not only because for the first time we use our lungs, but for the first time we also move away from that state of total happiness and we know that soon we will begin to forget…
What do we forget?
In the first 3 years of life we forget, little by little, who we really are. We forget our true identity, which is pure joy and consciousness. We will forget that we are all children or expressions of the same Universe-Being. We forget that we are passing through this school (called Earth). We forget that our soul has no preferences for races or ideologies or sex because for the soul everything is an enriching experience. We forget that we have not come to Earth to be “someone”, because we already are. We forget that there is no destination to reach, but what is important is the journey and learning.
We forget that our true family is not of blood but of the heart. We forget that we made certain “covenants” or contracts with other souls and that we are predestined to fulfill them. We forget that magic is in the present moment and not in the past or the future. We forget that Love is our essence and the only thing really important. We forget that we came into this world with a very clear purpose (a plan) and that we need to experience what it is like to be lost and aimless. We forget that it was necessary to forget in order to remember and experience the joy of recognizing ourselves.
How do we forget?
We forget to identify with a thought (called “I” or ego) and believe that “I am not enough” as I am. We confuse our essence for a self that believes itself to be imperfect. During the first 7 years we form our limited “self” thanks to the work of our parents, family and society. They program us with a series of beliefs. For example:
We believe we are a body (which we can see in the mirror and recognize for the first time as “my” body when we are about a year and a half old). We believe that there are good and bad emotions and that they define us (for example, if I feel happy I think everything is going well, and if I feel sadness, I think something is wrong with me). We believe that there are ideas that are better than others (for example, if Barça wins it is better than if Madrid wins – and that depends on where you were born). We believe that to be happy you have to achieve certain milestones (for example, having friends, having an education, earning money, finding a partner…).
In short, we believe that we must be what our parents and society expect of us, and nothing more. We must strive to be the best “character” (ego) possible and we do not question that character with which we have identified. Everyone around us is programmed as oneself and no one teaches us to question our own identity (“who I am”), until a crisis comes.
What is a crisis?
Crises occur when our identity is questioned. We panic when our ideas of who we are (and, therefore, what meaning our life has) shake.
The first crisis, however, was at birth, because there we began to forget our essence, our true identity. And as adults clipped our wings for being ourselves, we began to develop a character (ego) that would allow us to survive (adapt) in this society. But that character is based on fear and a lie (because it is not true that we are not enough nor is it true that we are the body or our mind). We are the consciousness that lives in them. We use the body and mind as an actor may use costumes to play a role, but we are neither the mind nor the body.
Our ego (body-mind) is a mask with which we have identified ourselves to feel “safe”. Our ego is a character that knows that it is not real, since it only lives from memories (past) or imaginations (future). That ego disappears when you begin to live in the here and now, which is the only real thing. That ego lives in fear of reality.
When we don’t live in reality, there is fear. Fear feeds the ego. Fear is the owner of the mind (where the ego resides). But few people realize all this and, even if they have eyes, they do not see. Most people live asleep (not aware of who they are here and now, beyond their beliefs. Most live in fear of being themselves. Most are incapable of sitting in silence for 5 minutes and looking inside. Most live identified with their character (ego) because they believe that this way they live more “safely”.
But this false security will be disrupted when we have a serious illness, or an accident, or a family member or pet dies, or we suffer a breakup or we have to close our company, or astrologically we reach the age of 29-30, which is when Saturn It reminds us that we must question who we are…
How to take advantage of crises?
To take advantage of a crisis we must first understand what a crisis is. A crisis is an opportunity to remember. Life will bring us “traumatic” situations that are designed to make us remember who we are. Just as a seed shell must be broken so that the seed can grow, every crisis is an opening beyond our false identity or ego. Every crisis is an opportunity to grow beyond our limits (or comfort zone). Behind any crisis is your essence (soul) encouraging you to go one step beyond your evolution. Everything that happens to us (especially what our ego labels as “negative”) has the mission of making us awaken to our true identity (which is Love).
After understanding (and accepting) that the crisis is ultimately a good thing (even if our beloved “ego” does not like it), we must listen to our hearts. We have to take time to be silent with ourselves, and learn to listen to ourselves. In our hearts is our essence whispering to us the next step. Our soul does not always speak with words, but it does speak with feelings. Try to feel what your heart asks of you, what you need to learn, let go and/or incorporate into your life.
Imagine you have magic glasses that can see where the opportunity is. Put them on and tell me what you see. What qualities or virtues are your life encouraged that you develop or strengthen? Maybe you need to develop patience? Or tolerance? Or be assertive? Look inside and listen to your intuition. And then, act. Do what you feel is right.
Step by step we are making our way. Don’t look for results, that is, don’t get attached to the result. It’s about taking a small step first, and having Faith. Trust that, if you keep taking baby steps, sooner or later, you will see the external results. Persist and have Faith. And in this process, perhaps you will need to feel accompanied by a professional. Don’t rule out leaning on someone who may have gone through the same experience as you and who can guide you to get to know yourself a little more.
As a coach I help you remember who you are. I am you without expectations or fear. I am the same essence and the only difference is that perhaps I woke up a little before you from the dream of the ego. Externally we seem different, but inside us runs the same intelligence, the same love and the same power. As a coach I do not fix your ego, but I help you go beyond it and awaken to your true identity. Once you remember who you are, your problems are over, because all problems belong to the ego and not to who you really are.
