Managing Silence: One Of The Key Skills In Coaching
Human communication is much more than sending messages in the form of words and phrases in written or spoken form. If this were the case, silence would be seen as something to avoid, a synonym for wasted potential in which no idea or emotion is transmitted… but reality is far from that.
Therefore, in this article we are going to focus on How intentional silence can be used in coaching and leadership processes both in the context of organizations and companies and in the personal sphere and more informal interactions.
As its name suggests, intentional silence is a way of using pauses when speaking that aims to make silence a communicative element Consequently, it is a resource that can be used in face-to-face conversations with an interlocutor and also in presentations in front of an audience.
The idea on which the concept of intentional silence is based is that face-to-face communication is much more than the transmission of textual information (that is, what can be reduced to letters, words and phrases).
It is no secret that a good part of the potential that human beings have to express ideas and emotions consists of non-verbal communication, and in fact, the use of verbal communication comes after the first. In a way, non-verbal elements are not limited to being a simple complement to words, but are as important or more important. AND The way we express ourselves through silence is one of those elements of non-verbal language
Of course, it is one thing for moments of silence to arise in a conversation, and another thing for there to be an objective in their use. In fact, one of the characteristics of those who are capable of leading teams in face-to-face interaction is that they know how to use silence to their advantage. Let’s see why.
Uses of intentional silence in coaching and leadership
In coaching and leadership roles, communication is always a key aspect. It is both a way to transmit ideas and train, as well as to motivate, establish values, energize teams and resolve conflicts, among other things. Therefore, it is not surprising that intentional silence is a versatile tool if you know how to use it well. Let’s see what its main uses are.
1. It allows you to convey the emphasis on the important parts
Silence acts by giving importance to the words said before and after it Therefore, it can be used to signal very clearly which are the key ideas that should be recorded in the mind of the interlocutor or the audience.
2. It is an element of active listening
Active listening consists of let it be known that you pay attention to what the other person says, and that you react to it in an emotional way depending on the themes and concepts that arise in the dialogue. In this sense, silence conveys the idea that what the other person is saying invites us to reflect.
Thus, on the one hand it is another resource to generate trust, and on the other, it conveys the idea that there are some ideas that we have heard from the other that we consider important and invite us to stop and think.
3. It allows you to put “the ball in the other’s court”
Using silences to our advantage also consists of using them in a strategic way to invite the other person to continue talking, or to add something to what we have said. In other words, it is a way of indicating that the other person is speaking. And in this way, a leadership role is also transmitted.
4. It is a resource to control times
Another way in which intentional silence empowers those who use it is that conveys self-confidence: It shows that you are afraid of the idea of staying for a few seconds without anyone speaking, something that many people tend to avoid. It all depends on the attitude; Although some moments of silence can become uncomfortable moments, if we show that they are not uncomfortable for us, they become a sign that we are in no hurry when it comes to exposing our ideas.
5. It is a versatile tool in the use of humor
Finally, intentional silence can also be used as a humorous resource. This is because humor is often based on generate an expectation about what is going to be said next and create moments of complicity without having to say things directly Incorporating humorous nuances into communication can be very useful to generate a relaxed communicative climate and demonstrate versatility in energizing teams, going beyond what is protocol and formal.
Related article: “The 6 types of organizational communication”
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