14 Toxic Words That You Should Eliminate From Your Vocabulary
There are toxic words that we should not use Some of them are negative for us because they are limiting terms that prevent us from moving forward and developing, others are not very specific and others can damage the self-esteem of the person to whom we say it.
As psychologist Montse Luján Treviño states: “The way we use language affects others, because we can bring someone down or cause a change in attitudes depending on what we tell them.”
Words have a positive or negative effect on ourselves and others. Catherine Pratt, author of the book “How to Deal with Negative People,” says negative people can cause others to feel exhausted or even depressed. And it is that The words we use not only affect other individuals, but they speak a lot about us As the popular phrase goes, “language is the reflection of our thinking.”
Toxic words also have consequences on our self-image and how others see us. People want to surround themselves with positive people and avoid those people who make us feel bad and who project negativity. Furthermore, toxic words are also limiting words, in the sense that they limit our personal development and do not allow us to achieve success.
A list of toxic words
But, What toxic words are there? what are the negative words?
There are a series of terms that we should not use as part of our language. They are the following.
1. Incompetent
There are words that, when someone receives them, make them feel clumsy and inept. That is why you should avoid calling someone incompetent. Because? Because Each person has a series of virtues and defects, and may be good at performing some tasks but not others
For example, a person may not be good at working as a waiter, but may have a great command of new technologies and performs excellently as a web programmer. In order not to use the word incompetent when it comes to work or studies, it is always advisable to encourage this individual to find his true passion. He may not be suitable for that job, but there will be another one where he fits perfectly and where he can exploit his skills.
Individuals can have many prejudices and become defensive about what does not fit into our mental schemes. There are many cultures with their ways of thinking and their values and their customs, and this is what makes our world so varied, rich and diverse. c When we say that someone is strange, we are saying that we are normal when, in reality, we are all different.
If you are one of those people who calls someone weird and suffers from some kind of problem, you should be grateful for the luck you have had to be born into a good family and to enjoy good health. Life can be very unfair to some people.
3. I need you
This phrase, if used in a relationship, refers to emotional dependence. It is used by people who have low self-esteem and who get stuck in a relationship despite it being toxic. When someone has high self-esteem, they do not need anyone to be happy because the partner is a complement and is not everything for him or her.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the company of a loved one, nor with expressing that love you feel. However, confusing this with normalizing the fact that you depend on others (with all that this implies) can make you fall into a kind of small sect based on two people.
4. I can’t
“I can’t” is one of those limiting words that make it impossible for you to take action and is paralyzing Except in extreme cases, effort and perseverance will allow you to achieve your goals, as long as these goals are realistic and you know how to manage your resources. But it must be clear that many times, the biggest barrier between oneself and achievable goals are self-sabotaging thoughts, created as an excuse not to leave the comfort zone.
“I should or I should not” has to do with a series of social beliefs or what others tell you you should do. You are the only person who knows what motivates you and what will make you happy. So now you can delete this word or phrases like: I must get married, I must be a doctor, etc. from your personal dictionary. Better to use like this: “I want to be a firefighter” or “I want to travel”
6. Impossible
This word is similar to “I can’t”, and as stated above, Except for some cases, realistic goals can be achieved More than impossible, it would be better to say: “it is difficult but not impossible.”
The point is that although in practice there are things that cannot be done in a given time and with the resources available, we very often use the concept of impossibility to not move from the place, not make an effort to progress.
7. Hate
Hate is a negative emotion that encourages aggression and violence According to psychologist Manuel Vitutia in the Huffington Post, “This emotion steals our peace and doesn’t let us enjoy anything else. Feeling hate is like suffering from an ulcer.” We will achieve nothing by telling someone that we hate them. It is always better to accept and move on without resentment.
8. Boring
There are always things to do, if you are bored it is because you have a not very rich life Instead of staying on the couch watching the TV, it’s better to go for a walk, run, or read an interesting psychology book like these: “The 30 Best Psychology Books That You Can’t Miss.”
9. Angry
Anger is often a reaction that we regret For example, when we are in a relationship and we explode over something stupid, then we have to apologize for our reaction and recognize that it wasn’t that big of a deal. Experts say that anger is a secondary reaction that often hides insecurity, fear or sadness. Therefore, if you are going to get angry, first analyze if there is no other cause that is causing your anger.
Blaming others can also mask our own insecurities, and can avoid recognizing that we are guilty too. In fact, it is easier to blame the other than to reflect deeply on your part of the blame.
11. Ugly
We live in a society that highly values people’s physical appearance and in which a culture of image predominates And not everyone has physical features that make you fall in love. But that doesn’t give you the right to despise someone for that reason, because they may have other important qualities inside. Calling someone ugly can hurt them a lot and that is why we must delete it from our dictionary.
12. Useless
Calling someone useless is like calling them incompetent It is a degrading insult that should be avoided at all costs. At work, if you think that someone does not have the necessary qualities to perform that role, let them know but motivate them to do something else. Surely you can bring out his talent in another way.
13. Failure
The word failure must be deleted from the personal dictionary, because it is a limiting word and, therefore, negatively interferes with personal development. Failures are experiences that can be learned from and are very enriching experiences.
14. Bad
Calling someone bad is not very specific Furthermore, whether something is good or bad can be debatable. For example, there are people who think that having sexual relations with more than one person is bad although in reality it is not.
Likewise, we can call someone bad simply because they do not treat us as we would like. To give another example, if our partner leaves us, the pain will make us see them as a bad person, because it is the resentment that is manifesting.
