The 6 Uncomfortable Truths About The Breakup Of A Couple
He love couple It is one of the most beautiful sensations that a human being can enjoy, and knowing that someone accompanies you in good and bad times is one of those things that is worth living for.
In our article “The chemistry of love: a very powerful drug”, we explain how falling in love is capable of making you feel high, make you suffer a low or make you feel the bun for someone That love is like a drug is totally true, and it has certain really curious side effects.
But when love ends, the couple breaks up, and the person with whom we had shared so many good moments leaves our lives, The consequences of addiction to his caresses, his kisses, his smile, etc., are so strong that they can lead to serious behaviors depressive and obsessive.
There are many reasons why a couple can break up: infidelity, loss of interest in the other, lack of communication… and it is difficult to learn to live without that special someone, because the emotional memory It reminds us again and again, those songs, those corners, those trips, those crazy things, etc.
How to deal with a love breakup?
Going through a breakup is not easy, but with time you can get over it Since the first step to move on is to accept that the relationship is over.
Below we show you the six uncomfortable truths about the breakup of a couple so that you understand that all (or almost all) have suffered for someone at some point.
1. Heartbreak is not linear
Heartbreak is not linear, but there are ups and downs, which is why it is one of the situations that can cause the most contradiction in oneself, especially in the first moments of the breakup. Although heartbreak follows a series of phases, one is always exposed to reliving those moments from the past
The psychologist and researcher at the UNAM Faculty of Psychology, Rozzana Sánchez Aragón, explains the following:
“Love mourning is a process that becomes more complicated than that faced when a loved one dies, because in death mourning, thanks to reasoning, there is a linear process when knowing that a relationship has ended, while that **in a love breakup there is a cyclical process because there is always the possibility of having contact with the ex-partner again.**This can stop the progress obtained by seeking to overcome the relationship and revive the emotions, both positive and negative. negative ones, which make it more difficult and painful.”
That does not mean that heartbreak cannot be overcome, since the neural circuits that are activated during falling in love weaken over time. But old love can activate them again in some situations, and that is why psychologists recommend “all or nothing”, that is, not maintaining contact with the person with whom we have been in love, at least for a while. This time may be longer or shorter depending on the intensity of the feeling and other aspects such as the individual’s self-esteem.
Unlike the loss of another loved one, in relationships there is an emotional game and feelings of: guilt, hatred are experienced inferiority, etc., which can disturb people’s emotional stability.
2. It is usually a difficult decision to make
Since heartbreak is not linear and emotions have a lot of weight when making the decision to leave the partner, imposing reason against the intensity of the feelings experienced is very complicated. Furthermore, as mentioned in the previous point, Self-esteem plays an important role, and it is quite common that many people, even after having been very clear about the end of the relationship, have regretted it later
Working on improving yourself and your own personal development, and learning to love yourself as you are, is the best way to move forward with the new situation.
3. It hurts… a lot!
The person who leaves the relationship can, in many cases, suffer less. But The person who is left usually feels more intense and longer-lasting pain due to not understanding the causes of the breakup and may perceive the breakup as a personal failure, negatively affecting their well-being.
For Sánchez Aragón, the pain you feel after a breakup It can be even worse than the death of a loved one After carrying out a study in which the emotions, thoughts and behaviors after a love breakup were analyzed, he concluded:
“When you suffer the loss of someone with high emotional value, and the reason is death, you experience grief and it may take time, but you know that there is no possibility of seeing them again and in this way reasoning allows us to understand that there is no return.
It is different in the romantic case because here we have the possibility of seeing the person again and perhaps finding them with another partner; This can create a situation that is difficult to overcome, since one feels that he is pseudo-adapting to life and returns to a part of his life that causes him intense pain.
4. Mutual friends can get lost
Breakups are very painful and can have negative effects in different areas of our lives if they are not overcome in a positive way. In fact, couple breakups can lead us to a existential crisis which may even be necessary to grow emotionally But when the negative emotions (anger, rage, etc.) caused by the breakup are not managed well, the person can enter a negative spiral that will affect the way they relate to people close to the couple, since they They will remind you of your “ex” and can accentuate the obsession.
As we mentioned in the previous lines, “All or nothing” is necessary to let time pass and the closest friends can also suffer from it, since they are a direct route of information about what the other is doing. On other occasions, it is close friends who can end up getting fed up, since we usually turn to them to sympathize and take our side.
5. You are going to feel alone (at least for a while)
When you break up with someone, Your daily routine and sharing a large part of your life with that person will change The habituation to your love and letting go of those intimate moments is usually the hardest thing to overcome. In fact, thinking that the good times you shared will be shared with someone else can cause jealousy and complicate the subsequent relationship (at least cordial) with your “ex.”
Many people They do not know how to be alone and seek to fill the void they feel with someone else, without stopping to correct their own mistakes or strengthen your self-esteem, affected after the breakup. As time goes by, these moments of loneliness are overcome, but it is necessary to stop for a while to find yourself, otherwise subsequent relationships may suffer.
6. You can be happy in love again
Although at the moment of breaking up it may seem that the person who has been your partner until now is the only person with whom you are going to be truly happy, that little voice is only you emotional dependence who is lying to you In reality, time heals everything, and distance can be our ally if we want to recover the best version of ourselves.
Human beings can adapt to a multitude of situations, and we can be resilient. When the relationship ends you can experience the worst moment of your life, and you can feel sad and depressed. Fortunately, Over time you will feel better and open your heart to another special person
