The 3 Levels Of Aggression In A Couple (and Their Dangers)
There are a series of aggressive behaviors that unfortunately occur quite frequently among members of many different ages, which is why they have been classified within what is known as “levels of aggression as a couple” that allow us to verify the quality and health of a couple.
The levels of aggression in the couple, by offering us the possibility of measuring the quality of a couple, allows us to see if a relationship is toxic and thus realize that when certain limits are exceeded, perhaps the most sensible thing to do is to end a relationship due to the There is a risk that these behaviors will progress to more serious ones.
In this article we will briefly explain what the different levels of aggression in a couple consist of and what are some of the behaviors that frequently occur in each of them.
In any couple there are certain conflicts, with arguments that could cause certain off-colors and even certain hurtful comments being said that will later cause regret on the part of the person who said them. Although we are not proud of it, it is normal that on some occasions we have some discussions of this type, and it is common that the situation does not get out of hand nor has there been a lack of respect for either of the two parties. the couple.
However, there are certain people who go beyond the limits of respect for their partner and They act aggressively at various levels, both physically and psychologically which erodes your relationship and will cause tremendous discomfort in the other person.
When these limits are exceeded, it is common for aggression to increase, giving rise to various behaviors classified into the different levels of aggression in the existing couple and, therefore, the most advisable thing would be to stop these cycles of aggression before they increase in level.
Broadly speaking, we will now explain the three major levels of aggression in a couple, within which a set of behaviors are grouped that turn a relationship into a type of toxic relationship. These levels are classified in ascending order in terms of the degree of violence in the couple, normally one of the members being the aggressor and the other the abused, although There could be the case in which there is reciprocal abuse
The first level of aggression in the couple is in which a type of aggression occurs called “symbolic aggression.” In this first level of aggression in the couple, abuse occurs above all on a psychological level, without any type of physical aggression having occurred
When symbolic aggression exists in a couple, it is because there are behaviors such as those explained below or similar. Since there are certain levels of aggression in the couple, giving rise to symbolic aggression, it may be the case that one of the partners is ridiculed in public on several occasions by their partner, so in addition, the partner ridiculed, it is normal to feel humiliated.
On the other hand, in symbolic aggression it is common for jokes in bad taste to occur that can hurt the feelings of the other party, and it is also possible for the aggressor to frequently resort to using offensive phrases towards the other party. of the couple. Sometimes it may be the case that the aggressor of the couple has gone so far as to threaten their partner.
When behaviors like those just mentioned or similar begin to occur between the members of a couple, we could say that the relationship begins to be toxic, so It is of great importance that the abused and harassed party stops before the attacks escalate
In the most extreme cases of violence within this level (e.g. threats) the affected party will likely need to seek legal help for a variety of reasons. The first is that this type of behavior must be intolerable and, second, because of the risk that these threats will end up being carried out by the offending member of the couple.
The second level of aggression in the couple is that of “coercive aggression”, where the levels of violence have increased compared to what existed when a level of symbolic aggression occurred.
When there is coercive violence, the levels of aggression in the couple are considerably more serious than at the previous level, Psychological abuse is common and it can even occur on a physical level as well
At this level, it is common for there to be behaviors such as prohibiting the abused part of the couple from doing certain things, such as going out with their friends at parties, chatting with certain people, among others, so that their freedom is seen as very limited. Therefore, in these cases the aggressor would be exercising control over the abused party, so that he could spy on her partner due to an urgent need to know what she is doing at all times.
In the most extreme cases There could be intimidation by the aggressor towards their partner in order to cause fear and thus make them more submissive with their impositions or may even reach the limit of resorting to physical attacks.
Here we would see a completely toxic relationship in which the abused party should end it immediately because their physical and mental integrity is at risk. In this type of relationship, it is difficult to leave because it is most likely that the aggressor of the couple will not accept that their partner wants to leave the relationship and will act in an even more violent way. It is common that when this type of relationship ends, the aggressor harasses the other person, or It could also be the case that he apologizes in order to be given another chance
In these cases, it is likely that the affected part of the couple will have to file a complaint in order to seek protection because, given such levels of aggression as a couple, they may run the risk of suffering future attacks due to the refusal of the partner. aggressor to end the relationship.
The third level of aggression in the couple is known as “direct aggression”, where constant and extreme abuse has been reached.
When these levels of aggression occur in the couple, physical attacks usually occur continuously, and may be daily, as well as threats of all kinds (e.g. threats of blackmail). In these cases, it is common for the abused person to feel intimidated due to the fear of suffering further attacks from their partner.
In these cases, the rest of the characteristic behaviors of the other two levels of aggression in the couple that we saw previously could also occur, so we can see that we would be facing the most serious level of abuse and humiliation that can exist in the couple. Also Very cruel aggressive behavior could occur, such as vicarious violence which occurs when you intend to harm your partner through violent behavior towards a loved one (for example, your child).
There are well-known examples in the news of vicarious violence in which a parent has kidnapped his children in order to cause suffering to his ex-partner, in some cases having gone so far as to murder his children, which demonstrates the most cruel and ruthless expression. It is possible that there can be all levels of aggression in the couple.
In these cases It is essential that the abused party end their relationship before it’s too late and seek help. The most frequent thing in these cases is that the affected party needs help at a legal level (for example, from a lawyer and/or an association that collaborates in cases of intimate partner violence), having to file a complaint at the police station, and also the help of a mental health professional, whether a psychologist or psychiatrist.
