Death And Grief In The Coronavirus Crisis: What To Do?
One of the great tragedies that we are experiencing in our fight against the coronavirus is related to the death of our family members.
Due to its special characteristics, the isolation and the high degree of contagion of the virus, deaths occur in solitude, without the company of loved ones. In addition, added to this are the security measures that are being taken in this regard, preventing farewells, funerals, wakes and other rituals necessary to say goodbye to our family member and thus be able to begin to mourn.
One of the most painful experiences that people go through is saying goodbye and accepting the loss of a loved one. Grief is the process by whichA person develops an adaptive response to the loss of a loved one
The duration of this process depends on many factors such as, for example, the connection with the deceased person, the cause of death, the degree of spirituality, the existence or not of farewell, etc.
On the other hand, within the grieving process we can distinguish several phases that help us recover normality. They were described by the psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler Ross. These phases are the following:
1. Denial
In this first phase of shock, the person denies the loss The emotional impact is so great that the person is not yet prepared to face the situation. Therefore, denial is put into action as a defense mechanism.
During this stage the emotions that are most present are anger, annoyance and rage. The person tries to find culprits in order to find an explanation for the death
3. Negotiation
This stage usually appears before death. The person has a false sense of control over the situation and tries to implement strategies so that the fatal outcome does not occur Normally the aim is to reach agreements with the divine. This phase is usually the shortest.
4. Depression
Once we realize that there is nothing we can do and are aware of the reality of the loss, An enormous sadness and feeling of emptiness invades us
5. Acceptance
When we reach this stage, we are able to accept the loss of our loved one. It is not about forgetting it, but about replacing it in our lives to be able to move forward
It is important to note that not all people go through all the phases or in the same order, each person needs time to resolve each one of them. Once the person has gone through and overcome the different phases, we can conclude that he has reached the end of the process.
The preparation of mourning in the face of the coronavirus
As we have already mentioned, The virus is the one that is setting the rules regarding accompaniment, farewells and wakes Under these circumstances, it is possible that some of the phases of grief become blocked or last longer than usual, which may (or may not) lead to complicated grief.
Another characteristic of this situation is that The grieving process begins before the death itself, by not being able to visit or accompany the sick person during quarantine, hospitalization, etc The pain of losing a loved one will always be present, regardless of whether or not we can be close to our loved one. The feeling of pain is implicit in this type of situation.
To do?
The fundamental objective of the grieving process is always the same: to avoid the psychological consequences of not preparing the farewell well. To do this, we will take into account the following guidelines.
1. Take advantage of remote forms of communication
In many hospitals in Spain The use of tablets and mobile phones is being implemented to promote contact between the patient and family members This can be of great help in a future farewell with the patient. Although we cannot do it in person, we will share with our loved ones the pain and suffering we are going through. Through virtual meetings we can share our feelings, remember the deceased person and remember the special moments lived with them.
2. Don’t stop performing farewell rituals
Wakes, funerals and other rituals are important to be able to say goodbye to the loved one and begin the grieving process. In this case we cannot do it at the time of death, but we can postpone it to the time when we can carry it out. The fact that more time has passed than normal does not mean that there is no point in performing those farewell rituals
3. Promote emotional expression despite the situation and restrictions
We can help ourselves with writing, write a letter to the deceased person or remember the loved one through photos and objects. It is important not to blame ourselves for not accompanying him at this time and be aware that we have been by their side throughout their entire life cycle.
We are going to try to avoid thinking about the conditions and the way in which he died. The health personnel have cared for him, accompanied him, and it is possible that the patient has been sedated and has not suffered.
A grieving process takes time. We are going to feel sad, but we need to move forward, continue doing things and continue living We have to try to strike a balance between mourning our loved one and moving on with our lives.
Conclusion
In this exceptional and difficult situation we are going through, many circumstances are being altered. As we have seen throughout this article, one of them is the duel, which is postponed to when we recover normality
The process of mourning, even if it is postponed, is very important to overcome the loss. Therefore, it is advisable to take the necessary steps that we have described to advance in the process. If you need help along this path, you can contact us at this link.
