Fear Of Failure: When Anticipating Defeat Immobilizes Us
No one doubts that life is full of setbacks and moments of discomfort or pain, but it is also true that a large part of our problems are created by our own imagination. The fear of failure is a perfect example of this
And, although we tend to believe that we are fundamentally rational beings and that we act according to logic when we make transcendental decisions that will greatly affect us, the truth is that this is not the case; The simple act of thinking a lot about failure can act as a trap that limits our freedom
Much of what we do is born from the fear of failure. Acting in a certain way and carrying out actions in a certain way is not equivalent to maintaining a proactive attitude; Although it may sound strange, there are things that we do precisely because they allow us to remain in a passive state, that is, within our comfort zone.
Thus, we will be able to draw up very complicated plans and put in a lot of effort simply to create a convincing excuse (for others) that allows us not to have to start that project that excites us.
The fear of failing is something that paralyzes us but, at the same time, makes us willing to spend time and effort not leaving our comfort zone and not having to face the risk of failing.
The funny thing about the fear of failure is that it can be camouflaged in many different ways. For example, on certain occasions it can take the form of analysis paralysis. This is a concept used to refer to the moments in which having one or more decisions causes us to be left without choosing without any of the available options.
Analysis paralysis can be understood as a failure to make decisions rationally when none of the options are good enough, but it can also be a fear of failure disguised as rationality. Those moments of looping thought in which decisions are made rarely and when they are made they disappear to return us to the starting point, it is one of the most frustrating experiences that exist, but it also has another negative consequence: they keep us in place without being able to move, with all the consequences that that entails.
Fight the fear of failure
Theoretically, the fear of failure is not bad in itself, because it is simply an unpleasant feeling based on rational ideas: what it would mean to fail in our goals cannot be as positive as what it would mean to succeed, and if this were the case it would mean that the project or decision means little to us.
However, in practice, when we stop to think about the fear of failure, it is usually because it has become a problem, an obstacle.
AND How to prevent the fear of failure from harming us? To do this you can follow these guidelines.
Write down on a sheet of paper the possibilities that lie before you, with their different ramifications in which the possible consequences of each of them are represented. Next to each of the options, write down the probability that you think they have to occur, assuming that you have made all the previous decisions that lead up to that point. To make this estimate as reasonable as possible, you can ask for a second opinion
Next, write down next to each possible scenario the degree to which you would like or dislike that option. By combining these two types of information for each of the options, you can make another “decision tree” in which the branches are arranged from left to right according to the possibilities of their occurrence and you can color each one with a palette of colors that range from red to green and that express the degree to which you would like each thing to happen.
This colored decision tree can help you a lot in making rational decision making override the fear of failure.
2. Set short-term goals
Once you are clear about which option is rationally most suitable for you and that everything that separates you from it is simple fear of failure, setting short-term goals is the ideal way to commit to that decision. Additionally, this will make it more difficult to fall into the “I’ll do it tomorrow” mindset, which can be a camouflaged form of fear of failure
3. Commit to doing it in front of others
Another way to stop the fear of failure from paralyzing you is to commit to doing what scares you in front of others. In this way, you can use the logic of fear of failure against yourself, as you begin to fear the possibility of not keeping your word.
Somehow, to combat this state of psychological paralysis It’s good to find ways to force yourself to do the right thing and this option is effective (except in the case of pathological addictions, in which case it is essential to go to a specialist).
