How Not To Flirt: 11 Things You Should Never Do To Try To Seduce
How not to flirt? What are the most frequent mistakes when we try to seduce another person? Need, fear and lack of experience lead us to make mistakes that can make our dates or our first encounters with girls not entirely fruitful or even total failures.
These errors lead us to “bad flirting”: we don’t connect with the other person
How not to flirt: 11 things you should not do when seducing
Taking certain factors into account and trying to avoid them will help us minimize our chances of failure. Limiting our mistakes and being aware that certain attitudes are not valid will increase our chances of success and, consequently, will help us have positive experiences that will motivate us to continue learning.
Below we will expose eleven errors that are usually synonym of failure or that greatly limit our chances of success. How not to flirt?
1. Want to impress
Being too focused on wanting to impress the girl in front of us can be counterproductive. It is advisable that we relax and try to enjoy without the need to fall into the false spontaneity of doing or saying awesome things so that she feels attracted to us.
Unless the context is appropriate and certain behaviors are encouraged, we must act naturally and be calm and relaxed Only in that framework can we be able to impress without having the constant need to prove anything to anyone.
2. Need to be admired
This point is closely linked to the first. Wanting to impress is a problem but if we then pay attention to her reaction and her approval or impression, we will be transmitting a image of need and lack of confidence in what we do. In our heads, we always have to keep in mind that the only person we have to impress is ourselves. We do not need anyone’s approval, especially if it is excessive or required. We are not a little child showing a drawing to our mother.
Besides, she doesn’t have to be interested in what we do or don’t do. Let’s do things because they really make us feel good and not to receive a feedback positive that reveals to others that we are demigods. Let’s not fall into egocentrism.
3. Being a funny guy and not knowing when to get serious
One of the phrases that has done the most damage to social relationships and seduction in particular is “girls like to be made to laugh.” We all like to be made to laugh! We don’t let’s turn into jesters who try to make them laugh at all costs.
There are times when it is time to get serious and show that we are mature people who know how to behave in all types of contexts. The sense of humor must be reserved for necessary moments. There is nothing less attractive than causing embarrassment to others due to an excess of “clownsitis”.
4. Be aware of liking and look for indicators of interest
Obsessively looking for gestures or attitudes that reveal their interest in us will cause us to focus our perception excessively and forget other important details for communication such as active listening. Furthermore, being obsessed with seeking immediate results will undermine our self-esteem and make us uncomfortable.
This will cause us to invest too much effort in adopting behaviors or attitudes while waiting for them to be rewarded and will project us as insecure people or people in need of approval. It is more beneficial to forget about ourselves and focus on making them feel understood and happy with us
5. Be careful not to want to make mistakes
We have to keep in mind that, many times, the art of communicating lies in forgetting oneself and focusing attention on the qualities of the other in order to communicate and qualify them appropriately. judge us Constantly worrying about what we do and how our actions will be received by the other person will make our communication difficult and plunge us into a state of stress and anxiety that is counterproductive for the interaction to flow harmoniously.
There are no absolute truths or totally wrong actions. Making a mistake will humanize us and it will make us be perceived as close and self-confident people who know how to put mistakes into perspective.
6. Hide your flaws
Before assuming that any attribute of ours can be called flaw, let’s think about whether it is or not. Many times we tend to think that we have defects that we really do not have or that cannot always be considered defects, because context plays a very important role in communication. If after having analyzed them we continue to believe that they are defects, we should think about whether they are defects that can be remedied or if they should be remedied.
It is true that certain disabilities or physical defects cannot be remedied or cannot be completely corrected. But there are many who do. For example, going on a diet is an effective way to combat that belly that makes us feel flabby. Another example: if we have a serious acne problem we can go to a specialist to get rid of those undesirable pimples that do not appear on our face. Whether our problem is solved or not, we cannot allow this to affect our business. self-esteem and, therefore, to our communication.
Treating our flaws naturally and even joking about them will project us as confident people who are not afraid to show their weaknesses. Joking about our defects is the fundamental key to overcoming shyness and ensuring that others do not detect unattractive insecurities in us.
7. Fear of being contrary
Changing our mind for fear of not being liked is a mistake we often make. Being accepted and not feeling socially rejected leads us to never want to be contrary. Working on assertiveness will be very useful when communicating. Let us keep in mind that our opinions and attitudes are invaluable sources of information for our interlocutor. Always falling into the error of not wanting to offend or contradict and, therefore, adopting servile attitudes will make us lose our attractiveness and make us seem like people without opinions or objectives: it is the abc how not to flirt.
Our attitude also has to be evaluative in relation to the other person; We must establish a framework in which two people value each other but do not judge each other.
8. Idealize the other person
He romantic love It is one of the great evils of the 21st century. We live intoxicated by movies and stories where we are shown a sweetened love and that means that we have learned social relationships and contexts of seduction, as if we lived in Romeo and Juliet. We don’t live in a romantic novel. She has flaws just like everyone else.
If we believe that the person in front of us is perfect and has no defects, we will fall into errors that we have already pointed out before, such as wanting to hide our defects, the need for approval… Knowing how to observe and qualify the errors and virtues of others. Otherwise, it will be a very important key to prevent us from feeling that the girl in front of us is the goddess Venus made person.
9. Have unrealistic expectations
We have the social and communication skills that we have. Being aware of this will help us not fantasize excessively about what could happen. We have to be patient. As we meet people and develop our skills we will feel more capable of getting what we want
It is a mistake to think that if a girl has smiled at us it is because she is tremendously in love with us and wants to make love to us in a glass bed, on the seashore while the moon illuminates our naked bodies. If, on the other hand, a girl smiles at us and we think that she did it because we entertained her or because perhaps she was a little interested in us, it will be more beneficial for our self-esteem and we will avoid major failures that make us fall into frustration and a consequent demotivation
10. Do not sexualize
We’ve been chatting for more than three hours, everything is going great, we like the girl, we feel like she likes us, but there is a moment when she gets bored and things don’t progress. Maybe it’s time to give the interaction a little push with some phrases that help us understand our sexual interest
There are times when we insist that things have to arise spontaneously and we forget that things can arise spontaneously in us but that, if we do not verbalize or express them, they will remain in us without anyone having any idea of what they are. that have arisen. Let’s communicate our interest appropriately and not be afraid to show our sexual interest. Sex is good!
11. Sexualize too much
Insinuate excessively and not stopping making comments that indicate our sexual interest can make the other person uncomfortable and we may be giving the message that we are only interested in one thing. We can make the mistake of seeming like extremely needy or insecure people who are afraid that their interlocutor has not understood the message we have sent them and, therefore, we repeat it ad nauseam: this is one of the keys on how not to flirt .
Let’s dose our sexual interest and let’s show it gradually and adequately so that we can move forward without the other person feeling forced or bothered by so many spicy comments that often end up being in bad taste. In this case, let’s look again at the context we are in to adjust the intensity and degree of insinuation.
In conclusion…
Let’s not obsess about liking it. Let us know how to be in all the contexts of life. Let’s like ourselves more to please others. Let us be mature people who face life’s obstacles in a mature and assertive way. Let’s not become puppets at the mercy of a little alms in the form of sex. Let’s be happy with who we are!
