What does it mean to be sapiosexual? The concept of sapiosexuality has become popular in recent years, and it tells us about the relationship between two very important concepts in our lives: sexual attraction and the cognitive abilities that help us learn quickly and well.
Throughout this article we will see what it means to be sapiosexual, what are the characteristics that this psychological characteristic presents, and what it implies in the emotional sphere and in that of human sexuality.
Several decades ago, scientists began searching for answers to falling in love and attraction, something that affects all of our lives. In fact, in the article “The chemistry of love: a very powerful drug” we review what is known so far about this phenomenon, reviewing the biological and hormonal factors that act in our brain.
However, we must keep in mind that, when it comes to talking about different sexual orientations, we are moving in swampy terrain; Ultimately, all of this is very subjective and therefore difficult to investigate. Perhaps that is why the concept of sapiosexuality and sapiosexuality are so fascinating
Beyond knowing the importance of neurochemicals such as dopamine, norepinephrine or serotonin, one wonders: “What is it that makes us focus on one person and not another? “. The answer to this question is difficult. As anthropologist Helen Fisher explains, “no one knows the exact answer. We know that a very important cultural component is involved. The moment is also crucial: you have to be willing to fall in love. People tend to to fall in love with someone who is around us, close; we fall in love with people who are mysterious, who do not know each other well.”
We are attracted, then, to complex people, those that our mind is not able to cover with a single conversation and that have a very variable repertoire of behaviors. In short, one of the criteria we look for in a potential partner is that can be adapted to many contexts: that is, that it is intelligent This is where the concepts of sapiosexuality and sapiosexual person come into play.
What is a Sapiosexual?
The truth is that people attract, repel or ignore each other for reasons that are not always well defined. For clinical psychologist Mila Cahue, “there is a strong mental component. There are no fixed rules that indicate why we desire someone. Everything from the genetic factor to sentimental learning comes into play.”
Therefore, we can say that There are many causes that define our tastes when it comes to feeling attracted to someone. The cultural element, the educational model or our own experiences, among other factors, will create our mental map that will be decisive in triggering the chemical cascade of attraction or falling in love.
For example, there will be individuals who will focus on the other person’s physical attractiveness, money, or fun. But far from a perfect body, an enviable economic position, or a very desirable social life, there are people who are attracted to the “bogeyman,” that is, intelligence. Whoever is attracted to that quality in the opposite sex is a “sapiosexual.”
Those who admit being attracted to “the inside” and more specifically, for the intellectual capacity they usually start their preliminaries with interesting conversations (about politics, philosophy, etc.) and become excited because of another person’s “insight.” The sapiosexual feels stimulated or challenged by the other’s way of thinking Basically, he finds his sexual partner’s intellect to be his most attractive trait.
What is the profile of sapiosexual people? Although the term sapiosexual is applied to both men and women, it appears that It predominates more in the female sex According to sexologist Miren Larrazábal, president of the Spanish Federation of Sexology Societies (FESS), “apparently, when we are asked what values we look for in attraction, apart from the physical, we highly value intelligence. This does not mean that men value it less, but they respond sooner with other variables that are a priority for them.”
Furthermore, Larrazábal thinks that choosing an intelligent man is not due to a good conversation, but rather that “a woman assumes that an intelligent man will have more economic resources, or may have a better professional career.” This would then be a way of saying that what attracts is not intelligence per se, but rather the greater facility of intelligent men to provide a healthier and materially more viable life. Goodbye romanticism?
On the other hand, there are studies according to which People who point out intelligence as a very sexually attractive attribute are relatively rare: about 8%. On the other hand, a rule does not seem to be met according to which the higher the intelligence, the higher the level of attraction, given that preference is felt for those who are slightly above the average in terms of IQ (an IQ score of around 120). , the average being 100), but not by those who far exceed this measurement.
On the other hand, around 45% of people indicate that intelligence is among the traits they look at when evaluating other people’s attractiveness and their potential as a potential partner… something that does not mean it is true.
In any case, sapiosexuals remain a very poorly studied group, and very little known in general, even less than asexuals. Is the ability to appreciate intelligence and originality rare, or is it that more research is needed to bring these people to light?
On the other hand, we can also talk about the sapiosexual as that person who considers that someone’s attractiveness is in their intelligence and does not pay too much attention to more aesthetic criteria, just as we also talk about the technosexual or metrosexual, who show their attractiveness through technological gadgets or exaggerated body care, respectively.
Now… are sapiosexual people members of an alternative sexual orientation? It is difficult to argue in favor of this idea; Ultimately, a trait of this type is comparable to any of the preferences that people may have for psychological or physical characteristics and that no one considers could constitute another sexual orientation. By definition, the latter depend on the sex of the person generating desire or attraction, and it would not be justified to change this criterion for any other criterion that escapes the male-female dichotomy.
In short, sapiosexuality is one more piece of the repertoire of criteria that we use when choosing who we would like to be with. And if we have to spend time with a person, it is better that they offer us, at least, a good conversation, an interesting way of seeing life, and experiences that stimulate our intelligence. Therefore, being sapiosexual can be a response to this medium and long-term objective related to the search for company that also fulfills us intellectually.
