Assertiveness To Seduce: 9 Tricks To Improve Your Communication
Dating is always a potential trigger for stress and anxiety. The need to please the other person and to avoid rejection they play tricks on us by making us forget our values and ourselves.
Have a assertive communication It will help us to be able to show ourselves appropriately, avoiding falling into servitude and unattractive attitudes and behaviors that make us appear weak and submissive. We will, therefore, be able to communicate much better and connect emotionally with the person in front of us.
But what is assertiveness?
Assertiveness is a type of communication in which the person does not attack or submit to the will of others; a way of expressing oneself appropriately and congruently within the context and with oneself. It is useful to defend our ideas and rights without hurting or harming others, always acting from self-confidence.
Next, we will give you nine tips that will help you communicate assertively on your dates and will help you have the success and confidence you need so that your dates become a comfortable context in which to build a healthy, quality relationship.
1. Get to know yourself
To start communicating what we like and what we don’t, it is very important to know what we like and what we don’t. Although it may seem obvious, many times we let ourselves be carried away by others and our impulsiveness, without taking into account our attitude and our values. A good exercise to start reflecting is to make a list; In the right column we put the things we like and in the left column we put the things we dislike.
Having a belief system that works in our favor will help us relate positively to others. Being distrustful will limit us and cause a permanent feeling of stress in us. We have to find a way to feel good about ourselves to be able to be with others. Finding ways of thinking that do not make us fall into negativity and pessimism will help us overcome our social fear and will make us more extroverted people and we will overcome shyness.
3. What do you want to do?
It is legal to think about what we want to do. Trying to please our date will only make us forget about ourselves in a negative way and show us weak and servile. It is important reach consensus Let’s not forget that we have to be comfortable. We should not confuse it with selfishness; It’s simply about not being uncomfortable in a place or doing an activity that we don’t really like. At the end of the day, all we are doing is taking responsibility for ourselves. We have to take it as a negotiation, never as an imposition.
4. Don’t hold back
If we don’t like something, it’s good to say it without fear. It is much worse to remain silent and contain ourselves. It’s okay to disagree with someone. On the contrary, expressing our opinions and values openly will help us to show us how we are and will give us confidence in ourselves We don’t have to be afraid to express our tastes, whether they are musical, cinematic or botanical. All this information will also be useful to the other person and will serve as a guide to treat us better and with greater assertiveness.
If at any time we have been bothered or a comment or action has made us feel bad, it is good to comment on it, not to blame it, but so that the mistake is not repeated and avoid future problems We have the right to be pleased and not feel attacked.
6. Listen actively
Paying attention to what the other person tells us will serve as a guide for us to know how to treat them. But it is not only important to pay attention to the information transmitted. The tone of voice will give us information about the emotional state of the person. There are many ways to say I love you; It is not the same to tell it to us shouting as to tell it to us whispering. The way they tell us things will help us understand what they want to tell us.
7. Live and let live
There must be reciprocity in the treatment. Everyone has the right to be treated well and that means, in some way, we are obliged to treat others well. Must respect tastes and opinions of our date and, if we don’t like them, we must learn to communicate it without offending or attacking the other person.
8. Look, think, give your opinion
The cornerstone of assertive communication and of any communication lies in knowing how to adapt the message to the person who will receive it. Observe the behavior of others, and correctly reading their non-verbal language, will help us know what they are like and we will learn to know when and how to say things. We are not sentencing machines. Showing our opinion and communicating it in a manner appropriate to the context and our relationship with the interlocutor will be the most effective way to avoid falling into aggression or imposition and we will make them feel comfortable, in addition to creating a framework of trust.
Everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes we will unintentionally offend. It’s okay to ask for a cordial apology. Humans are not perfect machines, we make mistakes just like cats and pandas. If at any time we do not act assertively, nothing happens. Apologize sincerely, downplaying our mistake, will help others realize that we are human. In this way, excusing the mistakes of others will help us to be more assertive and confident because others are human like us.
Conclusions
In short, we don’t have to be afraid to say our opinions as long as we show them coherently without imposing anything on anyone.
We have the right to be treated well and act accordingly to our demands. Positive thoughts will help us overcome shyness and they will make us lose the fear of being judged and having to defend ourselves from others. Observing others and knowing how to treat them will facilitate our communication and help us express our opinions without fear of offending or being judged.
