What Are The Causes Of Emotional Dependence And How To Overcome It?
When people do not know the meaning of true love, they are often confused with lack of love and that is called emotional dependence Emotional dependence is a very common problem and affects the female gender more. This is a pattern of unsatisfied emotional needs that are attempted to be covered with other people, which favors the development of dysfunctional symptoms. And it is characterized by the impetuous need and demand for attention from the partner.
This problem arises from a series of factors such as irrational thoughts, insecure attachments, life traps, environment, upbringing, etc. It is known that when the environment is hostile, secure bonds cannot be created or the child’s satisfaction cannot be created, as in the case of subjects who have grown up in an environment of violence and aggression, and in addition to this, parents constantly repeat phrases such as “love is synonymous with enduring everything”, with all this people generally normalize this dysfunctional condition.
On the other hand, there are adults who try to provide very overprotective parenting where they do not allow their children to learn to be autonomous and independent because as an adult they will have problems being self-sufficient. Likewise, authoritarian parents, due to their upbringing model, will instill in their children a lot of fear of such extreme submission and self-sacrifice, so adults will continue with that pattern in their relationships
According to many studies, parenting models and parental modeling in childhood will determine the future of their children in the way they select their partners. Likewise, in the way of perceiving and facing life situations, these ways of coping can be that of a healthy adult: autonomous, self-sufficient and independent who takes charge of himself and his actions; while the other subjects do it in an unfavorable way: conformists, dependent, devalued, beggars who accept crumbs and mistreatment from others due to their low self-esteem and their life traps. With this I do not mean that all is lost since in the stage of adulthood you can do personal work and reverse all of this and improve and achieve healthy interdependence. For a better understanding of the article I want to start by defining what interdependence is.
What is healthy emotional dependence? And the pathological one?
Human beings in general have a certain healthy dependence or interdependence throughout their lives since they are a social being. Dependency occurs in all areas and areas because others will always be required to be able to satisfy some activities, objectives and goals Therefore, dependency can be said to contribute to our development, whether personal or professional, among others.
Likewise, in interpersonal relationships, interdependence is necessary and healthy because we need to create secure bonds such as functional couple relationships. In summary, interdependence is related to equity where both people benefit equally, that is, in equal shares. According to Urbiola et al. (2019) mention that emotional dependence is unsatisfied emotional needs and a pattern of demands that are intended to be met in a maladaptive manner through interpersonal relationships.
From the perspective of Castello (2019), those who suffer from it have an intense fear of abandonment, vulnerability to rejection, fear of no longer being loved or feeling less important in the life of another. For this reason, according to Petrucelli et al. (2014) manifest controlling, possessive and restrictive behaviors, which limits autonomy. As well as frequent requests for attention and contact from the partner. Everything generates high levels of stress, anxiety and depression. Which probably makes it difficult for you to manage a breakup even if you are aware of the violence against it
What are the causes of emotional dependence?
There are many causes, among them we have:
What are the characteristics of people who suffer from emotional dependence?
Among the most frequent characteristics are:
What are the therapeutic models to use for these cases?
The only way to overcome emotional dependence is through therapeutic intervention Among the therapeutic models are cognitive behavioral therapy and schema therapy. The therapy will also depend on the causes of the emotional dependence.
According to studies carried out by many authors and in different countries, emotional dependence is a problem that affects the female gender more. This problem is characterized by the constant need to be in contact with the partner, the person neglects their personal interests in caring for and pleasing their partner to the point of giving up their own happiness.
The causes of emotional dependence are many, among them are different types of beliefs, irrational thoughts, insecure attachments, life traps, a hostile environment, among others. It is important that parents are alert to changes in adolescent behavior since at this stage some of the previously mentioned characteristics are already evident If you perceive any of them, seek professional help so that they can help you in a timely manner, do not wait for the problem to become chronic.
