Parents, teachers and acquaintances teach children from a very young age that being the best in the class, doing perfect things or having high standards is a characteristic valued positively by our society and this allows us to achieve success.
However, Many times perfectionism brings with it more costs than benefits in mental health ; Some examples are high levels of anxiety and depression, psychological rigidity, decreased performance in some activities, low tolerance for frustration, constant self-criticism, among others.
Sometimes it is difficult to know if we are perfectionists or not, which is why below you will find a list with the most essential characteristics of perfectionism
After having read these characteristics, I invite you to consider if you feel identified by any of them this will help you discover if you are a perfectionist according to the number of behaviors with which you identify.
The cost of perfectionism
Being a perfectionist becomes a problem when it intervenes in a negative way in our daily lives, causing difficulties in different areas of our lives such as academics, work, emotional and interpersonal relationships. Below you will find the costs in the different areas:
1. Academic and work environment
In the work and academic sphere, it is very reinforcing to obtain social recognition from parents, bosses, teachers and colleagues by obtaining high grades or having excellent work performance. However, when the person makes a great effort to ensure that assignments, exams, and other academic or work-related activities are perfect and meet very high standards, There is a decrease in the ability to enjoy study or work
On the other hand, constantly checking that no errors are made influences more time being invested in tasks, even if they are simple. Likewise, excessive concern about making things perfect can paradoxically affect performance and end up leading to more errors in these activities, finally, it affects teamwork by wanting others to have the same standards and do things “perfectly”.
2. Emotional, social and family relationships
Relationships with our partner, family and friends are very important for our personal well-being ; Despite this, they are negatively affected and can even be terminated due to perfectionism. When one sets high standards, these end up extending to the people closest to us, demanding the same result from them, which causes low self-esteem in them.
For example: parents who require their children to get the highest grade in all subjects also cause anxiety problems for our loved ones because they may perceive that it does not meet our expectations.
Another important aspect is the constant arguments and disagreements when others do not do things the way we do them, this makes them consider us an unreasonable person, apart from feeling hurt due to the constant criticism, which generates a distance on the part of these people. Finally, perfectionists have difficulties with social anxiety, since they feel an intense fear of making a mistake in social situations, which causes them to distance themselves from social activities to avoid emotional discomfort.
3. Time for rest and leisure
Many times perfectionism gets in the way of enjoying things; Some people, when doing sports activities, taking music courses or doing leisure activities, stop enjoying it because of their insatiable search for perfection. This causes more time and resources to be invested to achieve these standards
For example, taking several classes a week to play an instrument perfectly at night and getting up earlier the next day to be able to practice what you have learned, obtaining a different result than what is expected when doing an activity to reduce stress and anxiety. tiredness, such as greater exhaustion and increased stress levels.
4. Psychological functioning
Depression is characterized by having deep feelings of sadness and loss of interest in activities that previously generated pleasure. Different research has shown that perfectionism It is closely related to depression since perfectionistic beliefs and behaviors influence the maintenance of this disease, since by not meeting these standards they begin to have feelings of uselessness, sadness and/or despair.
Additionally, their inflexible belief about “how things should be” increases feelings of anger, frustration and irritability, due to not being able to reach said standard. In addition, anxiety is also very common in perfectionist people, research has shown. that social anxiety is related to these people, since they constantly worry about not making mistakes so as not to expose themselves to criticism from others.
But social anxiety is not the only type of anxiety that someone who has these types of beliefs can present; also can develop generalized anxiety, which is characterized by presenting excessive worry for multiple reasons (work, family, study, relationships, finances) for a long period over several days and on many occasions for situations of little importance, due to worry about not having reached said standard.
Finally, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is also present in some perfectionist people, having obsessive thoughts about not making mistakes and some repetitive behaviors, an example is reviewing a work task many times to make sure that no mistake was made. , this compulsive behavior is issued to reduce the level of anxiety caused by obsessive thinking.
These are several Tips to keep in mind to face the advantages of perfectionism
Would you like to receive the support of a specialized professional?
If you feel that your anxiety levels are high due to your perfectionism and that you cannot find a way out of this difficult situation, please contact me; together we will get ahead.
