Self-acceptance: 5 Psychological Tips To Achieve It
Self-acceptance means treating ourselves kindly and recognizing that we are valuable and worthy of being loved and respected despite not being perfect. In theory it seems easy, however, it is not
We live in a highly competitive society, and self-acceptance often requires changing our way of thinking and re-educating ourselves.
Not accepting ourselves as we are represents a barrier between us and our emotional well-being and growth, because it prevents us from facing life with energy and makes us succumb to difficult experiences and difficulties that we may encounter. Life has good moments, but it also has difficult moments and you have to accept them. If we do not accept ourselves, we are our own worst enemy.
Self-acceptance is finding inner peace, finding peace with ourselves Likewise, it allows you not to escape from problems and accept them, because understanding that failures are human is healthy for your well-being. Self-acceptance is, without a doubt, a victory in the ring of life.
When you do not build your inner peace and self-acceptance you are at the mercy of the situation, which will most likely engulf you. When a person does not accept themselves they will have problems at work, at school, with others and, ultimately, with life.
Self-acceptance is such a powerful tool that it is even used in psychological therapy. Third generation therapies, for example, acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) or mindfulness, revolve around this concept.
Albert Ellis, one of the most influential psychologists in cognitive therapy and creator of rational emotive behavioral therapy (REBT), defined self-acceptance this way: “Self-acceptance refers to the person accepting themselves fully and without conditions, whether or not you behave intelligently, correctly or incorrectly, and whether or not others grant you their approval, respect, and love.
Tips to achieve self-acceptance
It is common to talk about forgiveness and whether or not we should forgive other people. Forgiving others and living without grudges is good for our emotional health And in fact, it is one of the most important factors in our interpersonal relationships. But can we forgive ourselves? Forgiving others can be complicated, but it is even worse when we have to forgive ourselves.
Forgiving and accepting yourself requires willingness. Therefore, below you can find some tips that can help you achieve this.
1. Make a list of negative judgments towards yourself and let them go
The first step to ending negative thoughts about yourself is to make them aware. Therefore, It is necessary to detect what is taking away the happiness of being yourself You can do this with a thought journal. To do this, you must detect those thoughts and write them down from self-acceptance and self-forgiveness, making a contract with yourself to let these thoughts pass and forgive yourself for what you have done. This is achieved from a non-judgmental attitude.
An idea to achieve this is to write the following:
2. Learn to validate your emotions
When resolving interpersonal conflicts, acceptance, through emotional validation, is one of the best ways to do so. After all, certain prejudices and beliefs about our identity can cause us to fallaciously reject some feelings, causing us to doubt and feel bad about what we experience. It is necessary to look at ourselves free of prejudices.
Emotional self-validation consists of accepting and considering what we are feeling valid, whether we agree or not Therefore, we do not need anyone’s permission to accept our emotions, because we give ourselves permission. To validate our emotions, first of all we must know them, label them and then accept them as they are, with a non-judgmental and non-critical attitude.
3. Cultivate a good relationship with uncertainty
Cultivate an attitude of courage and be authentic Take risks and don’t be afraid of uncertainty or being vulnerable. Get out of the comfort zone. Many people get caught in a spiral where failure fuels the story of “I’m not good enough.”
Disconnect from this feeling of failure and negative feeling that affects your self-esteem and connect to the wise experience that not all of us are perfect and we can fail. Get out of your comfort zone, take risks and take life as a continuous learning
4. Don’t compare yourself to others
We often compare ourselves to others, because we live in a society that rewards people with money and success. If evaluating ourselves by money, possessions, and job success is not good, comparing ourselves to others is worse. When we do that, anxiety takes over and our self-esteem is affected We must re-educate ourselves and stop thinking this way.
You can achieve this by following the advice in this post: “Tips to stop thinking about what others think of you”
5. Learn to accept your imperfections
Stop being a perfectionist and stop thinking that you are unworthy for having imperfections Perfectionism negatively affects our emotional balance. On the other hand, when you accept your imperfections and see them as normal, then you were free! You are free to feel anxiety about being who you are and you no longer need to waste that mental energy on these thoughts that in the long run cause you great emotional fatigue.
Related article: “Perfectionistic personality: the disadvantages of perfectionism”
In recent years, A practice that is becoming really popular in psychology is Mindfulness or full attention Mindfulness is a way of life, although psychologists have adapted its principles and methods to therapeutic practice, aware of the great benefit it brings to mental health, to the point that it is used to treat cases of mild depression.
This philosophy is based on living the present experience in its entirety, and proposes that we find the essence of who we are. This is achieved through self-acceptance, self-compassion, and a non-judgmental mindset.
Mindfulness allows us to be aware of the reality that surrounds us and helps us live from freedom, self-knowledge and acceptance. As a therapeutic tool, Mindfulness makes us focus on the here and now, judging beliefs about the past for what they are, uncertain and imperfect ideas that may or may not be useful to us, depending on the case.
Related article: “Mindfulness: 8 benefits of full attention”
