What Can A Narcissistic Person Do To Stop Being So?
People with a tendency toward narcissism often suffer from situations of emotional instability and crises in their relationships.
But luckily, there is no psychological trait that must necessarily remain at the core of someone’s personality, especially if it causes problems. Therefore, in this article we will a review of various tips to stop being markedly narcissistic
Narcissism is a psychological phenomenon that can take the form of a personality trait or a psychopathological alteration in some extreme cases.
To a greater or lesser extent, we all present a certain degree of narcissism that manifests itself through our actions when interacting with our environment and with others; However, some people have such a tendency toward narcissism that it causes problems, and in cases like this it is possible to diagnose a psychological disorder, as we will see.
That is to say, although narcissism can be measured quantitatively (it is possible to see to what degree someone is narcissistic), it can also be studied from a qualitative perspective, seeing if it becomes so intense that it constitutes a disorder, a clinical entity that It appears in the diagnostic manuals of psychiatry and clinical psychology.
Now… what exactly characterizes people with highly developed narcissism? Narcissism is a tendency to cultivate an idealized concept of the “I” that, in order to be maintained, must be nourished by the constant admiration and validation of others.
So, Narcissism has to do with attempts to convince ourselves that we are someone of great importance , of extraordinarily positive qualities, an exceptional individual in a good way. This idea that we are someone “special” makes us expect that the attitude of others towards us corresponds to the idea that we are someone interesting, with the ability to seduce others either because of our academic or professional merits, because our charisma, etc.
But although it may seem paradoxical, this tendency to maintain an “inflated” self-concept is a source of insecurities, and it is common for very narcissistic people to suffer from a very unstable self-esteem. Narcissism can predispose us to extreme shyness, for example, since the possibility of experiencing rejection from others is very disturbing and generates intense fear that leads to avoidance. It can also predispose us to the opposite, to maintain an intense social life to maintain a circle of friends and acquaintances that provides us with constant validation
In any case, narcissism fosters dynamics of dependency and low tolerance for rejection and failure, which, as we have anticipated, can be problematic.
Narcissistic personality disorder
Pathological narcissism is known as narcissistic personality disorder This psychopathology is expressed through symptoms such as the following:
In the face of pathological narcissism, It is important to seek professional psychotherapeutic help
What can be done to weaken the tendency towards narcissism?
The most effective way to stop the tendency toward narcissism is to go to psychotherapy (and, in the case of pathological narcissism, all solutions involve having professional psychological help). But in general terms, the following guidelines can help in cases of moderate narcissism.
This takes time and effort, but it is important to do it. It consists of exposing ourselves to what we interpret as our imperfections (psychological or physical) without trying to avoid those images or thoughts, in a situation where we can more or less control the time and degree of exposure
For example, stand in front of a mirror and focus your gaze on the wrinkles in your skin, or close your eyes and remember a situation in which we made a fool of ourselves. The idea is to keep our attention fixed on these experiences and perceive them from acceptance, limiting ourselves to recognizing objective facts, without judging them as good or bad. From this node, you will have a more nuanced and balanced view of yourself.
2. Detect validation-seeking behaviors
Try to detect typical behavioral patterns in yourself in which you recognize a search for validation (for example, always maintaining a constant stream of flattering selfies on your social networks because you would feel bad if you didn’t). To do this, it is recommended that you use a personal diary.
After a few weeks, you will have become familiar with many of those habitual behaviors that you carry out almost without realizing it, and you can try to get rid of them little by little, even if it is so that you learn to be able to do without them.
3. Prioritize honesty in relationships
To be less narcissistic, it is important to face the fear of rejection and approach personal relationships giving more importance to honesty on both sides
You must be able to express your insecurities, and you must also be able to listen to criticism or even negative opinions about yourself. It is normal that sometimes this makes us feel very bad, but this should not always be the norm.
4. Establish a scale of objectives in what you are interested in achieving
Many people installed in narcissism see everything in black or white: either something is a success, or it is a failure. stop at outline your goals and objectives letting them unfold into different degrees of achievements to be achieved.
5. Mentalize the importance of asking for help
When faced with certain experiences and emotional disturbances, you should ask for help. Sometimes to friends and family, and in more severe cases, also to mental health professionals. This is not a bad thing, and in fact, Taking this into account makes you a more resilient person with a greater ability to self-regulate
As a routine, close your eyes for a couple of minutes and imagine asking for help and getting it, not in a humiliating way, but in a human way on both sides: you feel bad and the other person gets involved in your case because they empathize with you.
Are you looking for psychotherapy services?
If you are thinking about starting a psychotherapy process to improve the ways in which you relate to others and to yourself, contact us.
In Psychotools We work with the most effective psychotherapy techniques adapted to the characteristics and problems of each person, treating patients of all ages. You can find us in our center located in Barcelona (in the Gràcia district), and you can also opt for the online therapy modality via video call.
