Aggression is one of the aspects that most affects social relationships. Much of the individual therapy or couples therapy sessions have to do with patients who experience problems with anger management.
In this article we will see what are the typical characteristics of aggressive people ; different patterns of behavior associated with hostility, the search for confrontation with others or the simple taste for intimidation and physical or verbal violence. Of course, we must remember that not all aggressive individuals have to present all of them, and that each person is an individual case; These are ideas to guide you when detecting this type of behavioral problems.
In psychological therapy, the signs that there is a problem of excessive aggressiveness are the following.
1. They have difficulty convincing in debates and discussions
Almost every time a person with a tendency to aggressiveness participates in a discussion in which they have to try to convince others, they have problems getting their ideas accepted.
This is because, seeing that others disagree with what he says, difficulties arise when it comes to repressing his anger and frustration. This irritability not only prevents you from thinking in the calm and rational way necessary to argue well ; Furthermore, it makes him more unpleasant in the eyes of others, to whom he offers a negative and hostile image.
All of this makes aggressive people more likely to “lose” an argument or win it only apparently through intimidation, than to genuinely convince others.
2. In relationships, they are controlling
Another very common characteristic in aggressive people is the propensity to try to control their romantic partners, and also their way of easily expressing jealousy in very varied situations and with the slightest trace of uncertainty and ambiguity about what is happening.
3. They have a propensity to see jokes as a threat
Many times, the jokes that other people make can be interpreted as an offense by someone predisposed to see hints in phrases that do not have a clear meaning. This is something that frequently happens with aggressive people, who They become defensive in case they have to assert themselves in the face of ridicule that, in practice, has almost never existed
4. It is difficult for them to ask for forgiveness
Another thing that draws the attention of many aggressive people is that it is difficult for them to ask for forgiveness in a convincing way. Many times they apologize “technically”, but with a tone of voice and non-verbal language that make it clear that, for them, this is just a pantomime.
This resistance to the apology may be due to the fact that the tendency to aggressive reactions would imply having to apologize very frequently something that a priori is difficult to accept unless there is a true involvement in the process of personal improvement and overcoming that hostile attitude.
5. They blame others for their mistakes
If aggressive people usually get angry, it is, among other things, because without realizing it they invent many reasons to get angry. This happens because they attribute a good part of their mistakes to others, making it appear that if something has not gone well for them it is the fault of others who, in reality, have had nothing to do with what has gone wrong.
In fact, this can lead to situations of gaslighting: trying to make others believe that they have done things that are wrong so as not to have to take responsibility for what happened.
6. They are impulsive in making decisions
The impulsivity they show in (mis)anger management is also present in the rest of the areas of their life. For example, It is easier for aggressive people to have a purchasing style based on improvisation
7. They are more likely to abuse addictive substances
Addictive people are more vulnerable to addictions, to which they give in easily. In fact, addictions often exacerbate their poor anger management, which makes them more aggressive. For example, it is known that among people who abuse their partner, the percentage of individuals addicted to alcohol or some other drug is much higher than in the rest of the population.
8. They break friendships easily
Because of their rapid mood swings and tendency to create arguers out of thin air, aggressive people have trouble maintaining friendships. For this reason, among other things, they do not invest much effort in the ones they have.
9. They show resentment for past conflicts
Because of their tendency to focus their attention on the cruelest and most hostile side of life, aggressive people They keep in mind who has gone against them at some point in the past and that is reflected in the attitude they show towards them.
