Roommate Syndrome In A Couple: Characteristics And Effects
When a relationship fails, there are many questions we can ask ourselves to find out what exactly failed and what was the reason for the breakup.
It is possible that sometimes the relationship cools down, the passion and signs of intimacy end, but people continue to live under the same roof because they continue to have common interests, something that happens more times than we think.
This phenomenon is known in psychology as the “roommate syndrome.” and it occurs in those couples who end up living together but without sharing everything that is usual in a couple: mainly intimacy and sex.
This syndrome is one of the main causes of divorces and separations that occur throughout the life of a couple and the truth is that it is a social and psychological phenomenon that has very specific characteristics and causes.
If you want to know more about this phenomenon, below we present a specialized summary on the main characteristics and causes of the so-called roommate syndrome in the context of a couple
These are the main characteristics that can make us identify a roommate syndrome in a couple.
1. Good relationship
One of the main characteristics of this very particular syndrome is the fact that the couple continues to maintain a good relationship, with respect and cordiality; however, the flame of passion has been extinguished
The good relationship between both parties also contributes to making it more difficult to break up with the couple and generally people with this type of relationship end up giving in.
2. Only common projects sustain the relationship
Many couples who end up feeling like roommates continue to have many projects in common, such as raising children, maintaining a house, mortgage, debts or common bank accounts.
All of these common interests make it very difficult to separate or divorce, so the couple decides to move forward with their relationship.
3. Preference for children
Another of the basic characteristics of roommate syndrome is the preference that parents end up developing for their children to the detriment of the relationship with the other member of the couple to the point that the marriage or dating relationship is cornered.
This means that before spending time with their partner, fathers and mothers prefer to spend time with their children: having dinner with them; accompanying them to sleep and sleeping with them, and providing them with permanent support 24 hours a day.
4. Lack of privacy
The lack of intimacy and sex is usually, in the long run, the main characteristic of roommate syndrome in a couple, a problem that ends up deteriorating the relationship and endangering its future.
Intimacy can also consist of doing things together, having a romantic date, going out to town on a weekend, or having a long and deep conversation with someone who was once our better half.
5. Monotony
Monotony and routine are also common experiences of loss of connection or passion in a couple. The feeling arises that in the intimate sphere everything is based on performing repetitive acts, as if it were a bureaucratic procedure. That is why relationships must be based on improvisation, creativity and surprising the other person daily, so that coexistence remains exciting.
There are many causes that can end up generating psycho partner syndrome in many couples, these are the most important.
1. Lack of time together
Spending little time together is one of the most common reasons why a couple ends up distancing themselves and ends up living as if they were roommates: without intimacy or real connection between them.
The difficulties in reconciling work with life as a couple and the demands of family life with children who must be constantly cared for end up having as a consequence a progressive cooling of the love relationship, because there is no material possibility of connecting emotionally
2. Unresolved conflicts
Frequent conflicts and those that have not been resolved for a long time are also another of the common causes that can lead to roommate syndrome in a couple.
These types of conflicts that are entrenched and prolonged over time end up separating the couple and sooner or later they end up generating great discomfort and a situation of mutual disconnection between the two people
3. Lack of common care
The lack of common care prolonged over time can also end up taking its toll on the couple and end up cooling the relationship.
Some care and attention that could be given during the previous falling in love phase can end up being lost along the way and make one or both members of the couple feel that they no longer matter to the other person.
4. Lack of communication
Lack of communication is usually the key to many of the problems that arise in couples and one of the deficits that most erode coexistence and the relationship between two people who live together.
The less communication there is between the couple, the more likely it is that a roommate dynamic will end up developing.
5. Loss of magic
The magic, passion and connection that existed in the early stages of the relationship, during the period of falling in love, end up running out over time.
It is the couple’s job to ensure that this magic is not completely lost and that the flame of the first months of the relationship continues to be kept alive.
6. Interference from children
Parents with daughters and sons suffer from this type of syndrome more frequently, since with the arrival of children into life as a couple, they They become the main interest for each of the parents and the center of their new world This interference can occur in many ways during life as a couple.
7. Obsession with work
Obsession with work in one or both members of the couple can cause them to become emotionally distant and have fewer and fewer signs of intimacy and passion.
Some people who decide to dedicate themselves completely to their jobs while having a partner may end up losing the quality of life they had in the love and family sphere, ending up living in the same house but without any type of passion or life as a couple.
