Insecurity In Your Relationship: Signs That You Have An Insecure Bond
Starting a relationship is not easy, at the beginning it is natural to feel insecure due to the uncertainty of whether the other person really accepts me as I am, if there is a commitment or if the relationship will work.
Being afraid of being hurt, rejected, or not working out is natural, but we must be aware that this insecurity on the part of both or one of the members of the relationship can be a source of conflict from both sides. beginnings.
For this reason it is important detect signs of insecurity in the couple to be able to work on it
These are the aspects that you should look at to be able to detect this type of insecure links.
1. High anxiety levels
When you don’t know what your partner is doing, they don’t answer you, and Your mind begins to race with ideas like “get over me,” “he’s not interested in me.”, you get very anxious and try to contact urgently. Given this, try taking ten or fifteen minutes to calm down, try to distract yourself, do your things and enjoy yourself.
2. You are measuring the other person’s interest based on the initiative they take
You focus on aspects such as him proposing to meet you, making efforts, you need him to constantly tell you how much he likes you, cares about you or needs you. If you are hypervigilant and constantly measuring these signals, reviewing conversations checking what you mean to the other person, it is because you constantly feel insecure and need to reaffirm their interest in you.
3. Constant jealousy and anger when going out with friends
Obviously there is a fine line between the possibility that the person does not prioritize you and does not commit and the insecurity that, even if he shows you that he wants to be with you, it doesn’t seem enough to you and you need to be constantly with that person, share time, etc. and prioritize it, forgetting about your personal space.
4. Threat of breakup or breakups and constantly coming back
When there are constant conflicts where in communication you end up reaching the idea that the best thing is to break up or take some time, but after a few hours or days you have contact again as if nothing was happening or even in a more lovey-dovey way, This is a sign that you are in a spiral of lack of communication and constant insecurity that is difficult to change if one or both of you do not work to change what is underneath those conflicts.
4. Low self-esteem
If there are comparisons with exes or other people all the time, if you constantly express that you feel inferior or not enough is a clear sign that there is an insecurity that must be worked on.
5. He seems cold or distant every time you express insecurity
It seems contradictory, but when a person reacts to a conflict with silence, coldness or avoidance, this shows an underlying insecurity, since they are avoiding the conflict and it is usually due to low self-esteem or fear of disappointing the other, which makes who are not able to face negative emotions This attitude further feeds the other person’s insecurity.
To do?
These are some of the signs that show that there is insecurity in the relationship that can come from just one member, or both, and that makes conflict management very difficult. The first step is to be aware of these signs, realize and be able to work both individually and as a couple those fears and insecurities that make it difficult for us to establish a secure bond with the people we love.
Communication is vital in this type of situation, although it is not easy to manage these conflicts when one of the two is avoidant, it is important to realize the dynamic in which one of the members is very insecure with a high level of anxiety, You try to calm your anguish, checking or forcing the other person to give you security, but your partner feels pressure or overwhelmed too and tends to avoid conflict.
Which makes the former’s insecurity grow. This dynamic is difficult to break, but the key will always be to work on one’s own fears, emotions and behaviors, regardless of what the other person does. In the end, when you are good with yourself, your relationships with others greatly improve.
