How To Get Your Ex Back When Everything Is Lost

Many couples go through or have gone through “intermittent” states in their relationship, times of “being-not-being” that, although not very pleasant, are sometimes necessary and show us that we can try again. Even so, there are essential points that must be analyzed before definitively deciding that you want to return to your ex-partner: who, how and why you left the relationship influence the determination of whether or not returning can be a good decision and whether it is more or less likely.

Is it possible to get my ex back?

get back with your ex it’s possible , but there are situations in which such an event is more likely than in others. Studies conclude that the main factor that influences reconciliations is uncertainty. Specifically, uncertainty regarding the state of the relationship. This happens especially in relationships that end up ending after one of the members has asked for “some time,” or relationships in which the two parties, even after having broken up, continue seeing each other and doing the same things they did when they were together. They were together.

Another factor to take into account is that it is more likely to return when one of the two parties has decided to end the relationship, and not if, on the contrary, the breakup has been by mutual agreement. If it was your ex who decided to break up and left, for some vague reason, it is likely that he will come back, as we explained in the article why men come back according to psychology.

Advantages of getting back with your ex

If you want to get your ex back, these are the advantages that can unite you when it comes to resuming the relationship:

• you already know each other , although, obviously, you are not the same as when you started and you have changed. You know each other, in the little things, in each other’s quirks, in what works for you and what doesn’t. Above all: you know each other in what you have changed.
• Second opportunity : to do things better and learn from mistakes. Show each other that you want the relationship and that you are capable of learning from mistakes and improving.
• Banish doubt : all those and if…? that eat your head, maybe they are for something. If after analyzing them all well, you still have doubts about whether or not you should get back with your ex, perhaps it is worth exploiting that silver lining. If it works, you may even find yourself closer. If it doesn’t work, at least you won’t have been left wondering.

Disadvantages of getting back with your ex

Although you may want to get your ex back, it is important that you stop and think about what broke you up. Next, you will see what the disadvantages are of getting back with your ex:

• It’s not the same anymore : after some time has passed since the breakup, you tend to remember the good things more than the bad, with the danger of forgetting the reasons why the relationship ended, and idealizing your ex so that, when they come back, You find a reality different from what you imagined. The person who left your life when you left him was no longer the same as when you met him, and now that you come back, he still isn’t.
• Repeat mistakes : You can fall into the same dynamics that caused you to separate.
• It doesn’t let you evolve : When you have been with a person for a long time, we stop being yourself, you lose a part of yourself because you are no longer “just you” all the time. You adapt to the relationship, even in small ways, to make it work. You forget things you did when you were single, etc.

One of the main reasons that promote the return of ex-partners is continued attachment to the other person and vice versa. It is highly likely that your ex-partner still has feelings for you and misses you, and that is something that already works in our favor and we should try to exploit it.

Furthermore, a number of studies have found the rareasons why couples get back together We summarize them below so that you can take them into account if you want to win back your ex:

1. Show willingness to change : That the other person perceives that you want to make an effort and work to make the relationship work again is essential for an ex to be more willing to try again.
2. Be more attentive, understanding, tolerant : changes in the characteristics of the couple, which include positive aspects or improvements in behavior, are the basis of any reconciliation.
3. Unite : If you are wondering how to get back with an ex, one of the key aspects is to maintain continuous contact, see each other frequently and, if possible, increase the time you spend together. These increase the chances of resuming the relationship.
4. Increase intimacy : not only in the erotic sense, but above all in the emotional part. Many reconciliations occur after both partners show more interest in the other person, there is a greater emotional connection, more willingness to get to know the partner better and find new things in common. This is an essential factor if you want to get your ex back.
5. Improve communication : Communicating more effectively, talking about everything, involves having an explicit and resolving conversation about all the issues that led to the breakup. Here we have an unmissable opportunity to demonstrate the first two points: demonstrate the willingness to work to make the relationship work and adopt the necessary attitudes to do so. In this article we explain how to improve communication between couples.
6. Ask for forgiveness and forgive They are two necessary acts to be able to move forward in any relationship. Acknowledging the things you did wrong in the past, and explicitly asking for forgiveness for them, is another demonstration that it is worth trying again. Here you will find some tips to forgive honestly.
7. Reduce barriers : If you want to make your ex fall in love again, eliminate any factor that in the past constituted an impediment to a positive evolution of the relationship. For example: distance, never having time for the other person, etc.
8. Have support : The fact that friends or family support your relationship is something that will facilitate the circumstances for your reconciliation.
9. Be the best option : We must keep in mind that all humans compare ourselves. After a breakup, it is normal to compare the previous situation with the current one, and the situation of being with you again with the alternatives, that is, with being alone or being with others.

Before considering how to win back your ex, you must make sure that all the issues that caused your breakup missing Just as it is very important to make sure that the reasons why you want to return have to do with the love you continue to feel for her, and not for reasons that ultimately only concern you. The latter could be, for example, not being able to be alone or lack of self-esteem.

For these cases, we recommend you read the following articles: How to learn to be alone after a relationship and How to improve self-esteem.

Once you are sure that your motives are “pure,” you must make sure that his are too and that he really wants to come back. There’s no point in getting back with your ex if he or she isn’t sure, or if he or she does it for reasons like those described in the previous paragraph. When in doubt about how to get your ex back, we recommend doing the following:

• Communicate, talk : If you want to make your ex fall in love again, make sure the return is consensual. Surely you will have talked a lot about your feelings and why you want to come back (and if not, you should!) Even so, it is also essential to talk about how you want this reunion to be, what dynamics you do not want to be repeated, set limits, etc
• Set your rhythm : Nobody is chasing you nor is there any established rule on how you have to return. If you lived together before and it didn’t work out, there is no need to live together again the first time. And vice versa, if before you were far away and this caused problems, perhaps it is time to dare to take a step further. And so with everything. Cheer up!

This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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