The 5 Most Frequent Reasons For Consultation In Couples Therapy
One of the most intense searches in human beings is the search for a partner. This challenge, no matter how good the intention may be, is sometimes established from chaos and not from the peace and pleasure of sharing life with someone else.
The biggest mistake lies in the initial concept of the search, when you think from the illusion, but not from the reality that a couple entails. This is also seen through the most frequent reasons for consultation in couples therapy.
What are the 5 most frequent reasons for couple consultation?
Those reasons that mostly lead the couple to make a consultation are:
These reasons lead the emotional bond to certain situations of chaos and crisis that, if not resolved in time, could worsen and grow disproportionately.
1. Infidelity
This is a topic that is heard a lot, generating distrust, controls and severe crises in the relationship
Sometimes when this occurs there are couples who can work on it, elaborate on what happened and grow with the situation, on other occasions, when this situation arises it triggers so much emotional disorder in both that it ends with separation.
2. Sexuality
In some couples, sex is affected due to certain covert symptomatology, thus giving rise to problems in sexuality; It is very common to observe unhealed emotional disorders that manifest themselves in intimate encounters, such as, for example; anxieties, anguish, abuse, abandonment, etc.
This is a big factor for the couple to work ; When it fails, certain demands, complaints and anger can be heard in the link.
The non-existent dialogue and the absence of assertive communication between the members of a bond is an obstacle when it comes to recording the speech of whoever is trying to express it.
4. The economy
Another issue that influences the effective bond is money since many couples with different primary models cannot organize themselves and make new agreements in relation to this issue. This is how the most intense crises appear that leave affection in the background, leaving the lawsuit as the protagonist, which in various cases ends in judicial situations.
5. Blended families
The bonds go through a process of adaptation in the union, having to learn to live with the children who accompany the chosen person.
How to build a couple from the light and not from the shadows?
Although these topics are the most frequent at the time of consultation, there are others that may be related.
It is important to think that an emotional bond such as a couple is established on several occasions from the shadows of each of the members, with the models of the primary family that established a psychic structure for each member. From this place it will be necessary to review each person’s life history to heal individually. stopping projecting on the couple what is their own
At birth the being goes through the “Separation Wound” with its mother with the cutting of the umbilical cord, leaving a comfortable and safe space to begin to feel the world that awaits it. In that detachment the deficiencies and faults begin that will begin to be significant, looking outside for what existed in his small world.
This gives rise to certain issues in relation to those deficiencies: feeling of lack of protection, fears, insecurities, emptiness, needs to be cared for and protected… These sensations, in the first instance, will be a demand towards the parents, and later on adult life, if this was not reviewed and resolved, it will be projected on the couple
Projection as a defense mechanism will be deposited in the subject chosen as a partner; This is equivalent to choosing from that fault that was not healed. There, complaints, reproaches, controls and requests for change are generated from the other person to feel good about oneself, to try to cover that need, here one of the main conflicts in the love bond.
This search and choice is made from an unconscious place from ignorance, from the shadow and when exhaustion and conflict are generated, it is the crisis that is exposed, separations appearing and subsequent searches so that the cycle begins again in other faces and the same scenarios, with the same child injured on scene.
One seeks in life to cover the emotional orphanhood that accompanies from birth, being precisely the wrong place, since said wound could only be healed with one’s own and very deep work, understanding that in order to share life with someone else one must first being able to learn to be alone, learn to dive to discover what and who is housed in that little-known interior.
Relationships show those things that cannot be seen in each person, hence the concept of projection, things about the other that I cannot see in myself disgust and anger me, making it easier to find them in my partner.
The couples will be the extensions of the primary family due to similarity or difference, with the parents or trainers being the first models to visualize.
To think…
Whatever makes you angry in relation to a relationship as a couple will indicate issues that are not resolved in you and that must be reviewed and worked on in order to heal them.
When two people come together having healed their own, the path will be simply wonderful.
