Is It Possible To Trust A Person Who Was Unfaithful To You?

Before having treated couples in the context of couples therapy applied in consultations for infidelity, I could answer that once a person is unfaithful, they can be unfaithful a thousand times more.

Furthermore, I began to affirm that there was no point in forgiving in cases like this, because if forgiving was not a guarantee that infidelity would not happen again, why then go through the test of distrust of trust.

There is even a saying that says that If they cheat you once it’s the infidel’s fault, but if they cheat you twice it’s your fault So, with this mentality, who ventures to stay, to have a commitment after infidelity?

6 steps to consider if you stay in the relationship after infidelity

Straight to the point, is it possible to continue in a relationship when there has been infidelity? Well yes, and again yes. However, specific conditions have to be met Here I list some that I think are the main ones.

The latter, having psychological assistance, is key so that an external subject can be objective with the actions that each one does. It is a good sign that the person who was unfaithful calls to schedule the appointment. Obviously, this bill is paid by the unfaithful, if it is the opposite then I recommend that you study issues related to dignity and self-esteem, but that is another topic.

The importance of forgiveness

Now, let’s talk about this related subtopic that is always linked to infidelity: forgiveness. And I ask you, do we forgive an unbeliever out of convenience or out of love? Do you find a relationship in forgiving and not being unfaithful to you again? How much healthy time must pass for forgiveness to appear? Should the process of forgiveness be done from subjective love or from objective love? Can I forgive and still separate? Can I not forgive and stay in the relationship?

Here we can be on one side or the other and with several answers; my opinion is that The way we respond has a lot to do with the grievance, with what we have to “let go” The length of the relationship with the other person, the deception, how a family process is deconstructed, what the infidelity was like, who the infidelity was with, whether you discovered it, whether your partner confessed it to you… These, among others, are decisive in answering to these questions.

The important thing is to know that this situation is not a sentence, neither for those who are unfaithful nor for those who have suffered infidelity. But the truth is that a person who loves you does not make you suffer, the general rule will always be not to limit yourself to words or letters, but to take action.

Now, if you were unfaithful, what happens now? Was it a one-time thing? Are you looking for culprits? Are you willing to do the emotional work it takes to establish trust and gain the tools to fulfill your agreements in the relationship? We will talk about this in another article.