Will Your Relationship Last This Summer? Keys To Improve Your Relationship
Summer is the season of the year that reflects the most couple breakups according to statistics.
These breaks are found at the beginning of summer or just after it. Are you curious to know the causes and what to do if you are in that critical situation?
Below we are going to detail the most frequent causes that can precipitate the breakup of a couple. It is important to keep in mind that every couple is different, however, Sometimes patterns are repeated that have a solution and, therefore, the best keys for each problem posed are also presented.
1. Accumulation of unresolved issues in the couple
It is possible that unresolved conflicts accumulate in the routine, either due to lack of time or because one or both members of the couple prefer to “forget the issue” thinking that this way it will be resolved.
During the holidays you undoubtedly spend more time as a couple, and These unresolved conflicts are very likely to surface This will cause “a snowball” in which the reproaches will add up and the frustration of both will undoubtedly increase. After all, having the initial approach of enjoying quality time as a couple and watching how expectations are shattered will cause more disappointment than at any other time of the year. This is why many couples end up separating or divorcing after “non-ideal” vacations.
Do you think they have really discovered that they are not compatible by spending so much time together or is it because they have not known how to resolve their conflicts during the rest of the year? Indeed, the second hypothesis is the most probable.
Keys to improve your relationship in times of crisis
Among the best options are assertiveness techniques Assertiveness is a style of communication in which we respect the other person without hurting them and without leaving aside our own needs, that is, it implies balance and empathy in communication.
Between the opposite poles of assertiveness we find passive communication (not saying anything to avoid conflicts that accumulate) and aggressive communication (exploding when you can’t take it anymore due to the accumulation of conflicts or reproaches).
Without a doubt, assertive communication in which speaking correctly about each unresolved conflict will bring benefits. a healthier relationship
2. Relationships that “work” only during routine
Sometimes there are relationships that seem to work only on a day-to-day basis and they believe they have “the perfect balance.” On many occasions, one or both members of the couple take refuge in other responsibilities such as work and/or activities without your partner, feeling that your relationship can be overwhelming and overwhelming.
Without a doubt, if a couple only shares responsibilities such as cohabitation, bills, debts, children… it can be seen that the couple is necessary to face everyday life, and when facing situations that are obligations after all Sometimes to “disconnect” we can procrastinate a little and escape from our partner and obligations. One example is spending more time at work and other activities with friends or hobbies alone.
This type of situation is what causes breakups before summer, somehow in summer we need to “rest, escape and disconnect” and the couple seems to be part of a more obligation.
Keys to improve this situation
Among the best keys is carry out pleasant activities with your partner in all seasons of the year Although it may sometimes be more complicated, the benefits will undoubtedly be worth the effort. Pampering your relationship and enjoying your partner as in the first phase of your relationship will strengthen the union. Finally, you will have a balance between enjoyment and responsibilities within the couple, enjoying the routine and the summer.
3. Unrealistic expectations
Sometimes there are unrealistic expectations in one or both members of the couple. These unrealistic expectations can be varied, such as having the partner idealized and getting to know them more thoroughly during the holidays, producing a clash between reality and expectation. This fact will undoubtedly cause frustration and a possible breakup during the holidays
Other unrealistic expectations are the fact of thinking that summer should be fun in every way and few obligations, and that being in a relationship “we can miss out on better things.” Without a doubt, with this belief the couple will surely break up at the beginning of the summer or in the first weeks. Surely, when they return from vacation, these people will adjust their expectations again and you will have to weigh whether the change has been worth it or not.
Keys to improve this situation
Knowing your partner well is important, and accepting both what we like and what we don’t like A healthy relationship involves knowing our partner and being okay with how our partner is and not how we want them to be or become. Among the best guidelines is to have time to talk and converse, without taking things for granted. Accepting that you will agree on some things and not others, and that even so everything can flow well. When you feel that acceptance, expectations will be more adjusted.
If you have seen yourself reflected in any of these most frequent causes, specialist psychologists at PsychoAlmería both online and in person, will be able to help you with more personalized guidelines tailored to your situation.
Author: Verónica Valderrama Hernández, General Health Psychologist.
