How To Get You And Your Partner To Enjoy The Holidays Together
Year after year we hear that after the summer holidays the number of separations increases The statistics are clear in this sense, once the month of August has passed, divorce applications accumulate in many Courts waiting to be processed.
Is “vacation” really to blame, that period in which we dedicate ourselves to rest and leisure? Not exactly, rather what really happens is that we spend more hours a day, both outside and inside the house, and we do more activities together, so The friction is more frequent and, above all, the conflicts already existing in the relationship become evident This means that the more consolidated the bond between the members of the couple, the better results will be obtained. A relationship with a solid and strong foundation resists difficulties better.
We must also take into account that the rest of the year we are immersed in a thousand tasks and the day-to-day routine barely allows us to spend time together; In the case of couples with small children, their needs absorb a lot of time and space during the week, which, added to work and domestic responsibilities, means that we live in a maelstrom that prevents us from paying attention to others, their needs, as well as as in our own.
First of all, we have to sit down and decide what we would like to do during that vacation time and plan it by consensus, taking into account the tastes of everyone involved.
It is important not to focus on those little quirks or habits that our partner has and that irritate us greatly; At this point it would be good to take responsibility for our feelings and understand that when some other attitude gets us out of control, it is because manages to stir something inside us so it would be good to reflect on this on an individual level.
Self-knowledge is the best technique we have to relate to others and ourselves.
2. Reserve moments for yourself
Understand that, even if we go on vacation together, it is advisable to spend some time doing activities individually or independently of our partner, for example, with family or friends; in that way We give space to the other and the relationship is nourished by other external experiences A good alternative would be to dedicate a few hours to a hobby or pastime that we enjoy, perhaps one that we have put aside for years due to lack of time.
3. Improve communication with others using empathy
If our partner is very reluctant to carry out a plan that we have proposed, it would be interesting to ask him or her to find out the reason behind this refusal, delve deeper into the reasons, perhaps there is a fear of something, perhaps mistrust or shame.
As always, the best resource in any relationship is to establish good communication, so instead of getting angry saying: “You never want to do what I want”, we can ask him with genuine interest why he doesn’t feel like doing that.
We must be willing to listen to others and not seek to “get our way at all costs.” , but to find the middle point. We usually find ourselves in consultation with many couple conflicts derived from poor communication. By working on this aspect we achieved very important changes.
4. Equity is key
One has to plan and equitably distribute the tasks that are necessary such as taking care of children or making food.
5. Be flexible when accepting changes in plans
We must be willing to adapt with understanding and generosity. In travel, as in life, unforeseen events and obstacles arise and the best attitude we can have is to accept them as part of the journey. Nor there is no point in getting angry and even less about circumstances that are beyond our control
6. Experience new things
Take advantage of having so much time to do different and new things, those that are out of the ordinary, from what is stipulated, bringing our inner boy or girl, our playful and fun part, to the field of play, letting our hair down instead of overwhelming ourselves for having to “kill time”, in conclusion, add imagination to life
7. Remember that the relationship is the most complex of all
In part we choose that person unconsciously (we do not fully understand what motivates us to approach that type of person), because it implies an emotional surrender that sometimes makes us feel vulnerable, because it is usually the mirror in which we reflect ourselves. themselves. For all this, it is a great opportunity to get to know each other in depth and improve as people. The more comfortable we are with our Self, the better relationships we will establish with others
In short, if you consider that your relationship is stuck, either due to some conflict or discomfort, or due to the inertia of routine and boredom, be honest with your partner and explain how you feel about it, it is possible that he or she is going through something similar and it comforts him to hear your position.
Go through a therapeutic process It will allow us to achieve that self-knowledge that we talked about before and travel the path of life, evolving and obtaining maximum learning. On the other hand, our relationships will be more satisfactory and we will achieve greater well-being and enjoyment. The figure of the therapist will serve as a guide for us to find for ourselves the answers to our own questions. It is interesting to know that there are professionals specialized in couples or family therapy, as well as in other areas of psychology, so if you are considering doing therapy you will find good and expert professionals to rely on.
