9 Coping Techniques In The Face Of A Relationship Crisis
Relationship crises make us uncomfortable, but if we face them properly we can even benefit from them, since they allow us to resolve small differences and strengthen the relationship.
It is normal for couples to experience crisis situations, given that it is made up of two individuals, one with their tastes, traits, personality… It is impossible for us to agree on everything. The important thing is to be able to face these discrepancies in order to adapt, the purpose will not be to change the other, but to seek balance between the two.
exist techniques and strategies that can be useful to face couple crises and emerge stronger from them and in this article we will talk about them.
Relationship crises are stages of disagreements, breaches of trust, and/or constant arguments that arise between the members of a couple and they keep them in a state of anxiety and discomfort. In this way, we will consider them a decisive point in relationships, which can lead to their breakup or, on the contrary, to further strengthen the couple.
Thus, although the subjects who form the relationship are not going through a good time and would like to avoid the situation, it can be a good opportunity to take advantage and get to know each other better and discuss the different factors that we see that are not working well. All couples go through crises, more or less intense, sooner or later in the relationship, which can be resolved in different ways.
Signs of crisis
With the purpose of preventing or intervening in a crisis as soon as possible to avoid further damage, We must be alert and identify possible signs that indicate that something is wrong something necessary to make a change in the way we relate and thus overcome the crisis.
Some examples of these signs are: not wanting to meet your partner or make plans with them, no longer having interests or tastes in common, any action they do makes you angry and irritated, you cannot have long conversations, whenever you talk It is to criticize each other, you get defensive when someone makes a comment, it is difficult to talk or you do not directly talk about the problems that arise or you focus more on the characteristics or traits that you do not like in your partner.
As we have pointed out, the sensations and discomfort that occur when we find ourselves in a moment of crisis are not pleasant at all and generate a state of anxiety in the subjects, which can lead to more severe alterations such as mood disorder or anxiety. For this reason, it is essential that we face the situation as soon as possible and not let more time pass, since we only manage to further harm the relationship and ourselves.
There are different techniques or strategies that can be useful to know how to act in periods of crisis and try to make these serve as learning growth and strengthening of the relationship, preventing this discomfort from perpetuating itself.
1. Be aware and accept the situation
As happens in any situation where a problem arises, the first and most necessary step to address it is recognize that something is not right and that we need to change If we let the indicators that anticipate the problem pass us by, we will not make it disappear, but rather we will make it bigger and, as such, more difficult to face.
Recognizing that something in our partner needs to improve is not bad, nor does it mean any failure. It is normal that when you get to know the other person better, discrepancies appear, but as we already said, they give us the opportunity to talk about the topic and find the point of agreement, the way to adapt to each other.
2. Enhance fluid communication
A very important factor in all types of relationships and especially in couples, since in them individuals spend a lot of time together, is communication; not only when there is a problem but at all times. Express to the other person how you feel, whether good or bad, and let your partner do the same helps us get to know each other better, increase trust and prevent possible differences or misunderstandings from leading to problems, ultimately helping the relationship become stronger.
Try not to do so from an attacking or defensive position when you express yourself, simply let them know that they have bothered you or made you feel bad. That is, we will try to be assertive, stating what causes us discomfort, but with the purpose of fixing it, not with the intention of blaming the other.
When we face a crisis or a problematic situation, it is necessary that we focus on what concerns us in the present and not let us introduce criticisms that are not relevant or make reproaches of previous crises and even more so if these have already been resolved.
It is better to raise and face problems one by one to focus on it and be able to solve it better. We will also avoid returning to previous crises if they have already been resolved and there is no reason for it. We must turn the page and not remain anchored, otherwise it will be useless to confront them.
4. Take responsibility
As happens in many relationships, when a crisis arises, it is not caused by a single member, but both have some involvement So, when we raise the disagreement, as we recommended before, we will not blame the other person for the situation and we will assume part of the responsibility.
The problem is not your partner or you, but a situation that has happened and can be solved. It is not always necessary to look for the guilty, but rather responsible and/or co-responsible
It can help you to use expressions like “I felt bad because of what you said to me” instead of “you made me feel bad” or “I didn’t understand when you told me…” and not “you expressed yourself badly.” We see how the message is the same but in the second case we are blaming our partner; However, in the first option we accept part of the responsibility.
5. No one should be the winner
When we raise the difference, the cause of the crisis, and try to find the solution, the intention must be to find the balance point that suits both of us. The goal is not to be one above the other, nor to try to be the winner or the one who is right, the ultimate intention must be to reach an understanding. If we start with an ego fight, expecting our partner to accept everything we say, we will only make the situation worse.
6. Try to control impulsivity
Given the importance of communication and the way we express ourselves, it will be important that before raising the problem or the cause of the discomfort, we reflect and think about how we feel and how it is most appropriate to express it. Thus it is easier for communication to develop more fluidly, without interruptions and without frustrating experiences
Acting impulsively, many times, leads to not being able to really communicate what we want and our partner does not receive the message well either and acts defensively in the face of the attack. For this reason, it is not good to let the conflict pass or prolong it, since in the end it is more likely that, faced with an unimportant event, we will end up exploiting and acting without thinking.
7. Also value the good
It is normal that when we are going through a relationship crisis we only see the bad things, everything that the other person does wrong, what puts us in a bad mood, what we don’t like… and we stop paying attention and evaluating things. good, their traits and performances that we do like.
If we only focus on the negative, the only thing we get is to stay stuck in the situation, we will enter a loop where we will see everything negative. She breaks this vicious circle and begins to appreciate the positive as well. As we have already seen, the problem is not you or your partner, but the situation you are going through.
8. Plan activities that you both like
To break the routine can be good plan activities that you both like and can do together It is common that, when we have been doing the same activity for a while or being with the same person, a routine is established where we do the same things and in the same way, but if we look for different activities, that we like to do, we will be able to break it and have a good time. a while.
9. Take time for yourself
When we are a couple it is normal that we spend a lot of time together, and even more so if we have children together or live in the same house. But Being with someone is no reason to stop spending time on yourself For our well-being and that of the couple, it is necessary that each one have moments for him or her, to meet with friends, to play sports, to dedicate ourselves to creative hobbies… Activities that we do not always have to do together with the other.
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