How to Leave Your Partner Loving You

The majority of couples who separate do so by loving each other, and to achieve well-being and stability in a relationship, love is not enough. To resolve conflicts in a relationship, we need resolution skills and strategies, learning to balance differences, patience, among other skills.

If you are in a situation of heartbreak and you don’t know how to deal with it, keep reading this PsychologyFor article. We reflect on how far we should love and we give you some tips to leave your partner loving you in a healthy way.

How do you know if leaving your partner is the right thing to do?

We live in times in which the most important thing is the individual, the “I” and not so much the “we”. In fact, it is common for many couples to leave because in difficult situations, one or both members of the couple lean towards their own personal path, towards the self.

Many things influence a loving relationship apart from love and passion, such as each person’s values, relationship patterns and past experiences, the education received, one’s own interests, conflict management, among others. By “x” or “y” if you are reading this article, it is probably because you are considering taking the step. However, first of all, You have to be clear if you want to break the relationship Ask yourself why you want to break up with this person and identify everything that makes you unhappy in the relationship and consider whether it is a temporary situation or a relationship or personal crisis.

As Walter Riso, doctor in psychology, says, the limit of what is acceptable in a loving relationship is crossed when your vocation and dreams take a backseat, when “being for others” prevents you from “being for yourself” There are things in which we simply cannot give in, because if we do, we will be betraying ourselves. Ask yourself: Are you happy with your relationship and the life you lead?

In the following article, we answer the question of how to know if a relationship is going bad.

How to leave your partner loving them – advice from psychology

• Take your responsibility and do not maintain behaviors that harm the relationship with the goal that the other person is the one who decides to leave you. Intensifying conflicts by trying to find more excuses to end the relationship and, ultimately, postponing the breakup and continuing with a relationship that is not working, will make both of you suffer more.
• Think carefully about what you want to convey and Express your feelings In order to deal with a breakup in a healthy way, it is important to express how we feel and say what we have not said throughout the relationship. Although if you think this will only make the situation worse, there are other ways to get it out, like writing it all down. What you should not do is keep it inside, since you will leave it on unfinished business and sooner or later it will come to light in a more intense way. Be clear and honest with what you say so as not to create misunderstandings.
• Speak in first person It is normal that in intense conversations, the other person may perceive that you are blaming them. Speaking in the first person will help you express yourself without making the other person feel attacked. For example: “I think I need to spend more time alone” instead of “You want to spend too much time together,” or “I feel bad about the way you treat me sometimes…” instead of “You treat me terribly.” Even though you’re basically saying the same thing, you focus it on your feelings instead of attacking the other person directly.
• Empathize Try to listen to your partner from their perspective and allow them to express their feelings.
• Be grateful for everything he has given you the other person and everything you have experienced together. When we can see what a relationship has given us and what we have learned, we are ready to close it.
• Keep your distance It’s very hard to stop talking, break your routines of saying good night or asking him how his day was, but if you keep doing it you can give him false hope and will only worsen the grieving process for both of you. It’s also not about never talking again, but rather about giving space to face the breakup.

After ending a long relationship…

Although you feel great liberation from leaving an unsatisfying relationship, if there has been real love and connection, sooner or later the pain of leaving what was known, what was loved, and the uncertainty of facing something new will come out. Do not panic, Feeling pain is necessary to face the grieving process and create a new beginning

Living forces us to know how to start and finish, to win and lose, to love and suffer. There will come a time when you will be able to give it the recognition it deserves as an important relationship in your life, you will recognize the love that existed and you will keep it as a great memory. And as a consequence you will allow yourself to open up to new experiences.

If you feel that you cannot face the situation on your own, do not hesitate to go to a professional.

This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to leave your partner loving you we recommend that you enter our Couples Therapy category.

Bibliography

• Riso, W. (2015). The limits of love. How to love without giving up yourself.
• Garriga, J. (2013). Good love in the couple.