8 Beliefs That Feed Emotional Dependence In Relationships
Emotional dependence is a psychological disorder that consists of an obsessive need to keep someone by our side. Many times, this person is the couple themselves in a courtship or marriage, which encourages that emotional bond to become something increasingly harmful and limiting.
This phenomenon annuls the person who suffers from it and has a direct impact on all aspects of their life, both emotionally and relationally, as well as family and even work. And in this sense, There are a series of harmful beliefs that reinforce this dynamic of dependency in relationships ; Let’s see what they are.
What are the beliefs associated with emotional dependence in couples?
There are several psychological elements capable of causing emotional dependence to emerge, and some of the most important are the dysfunctional beliefs that the person who depends on the other develops. Let’s see which are the most frequent.
1. Fear of being alone
People with emotional dependence They often assume that being single is equivalent to having failed in life which is why they are terrified that their relationship will end.
This irrational fear of being alone is one of the most common signs of emotional dependence and is accompanied by the belief that once we are alone no one else will love us.
Likewise, separation from a couple, whether temporary or long-term, also generates a feeling of discomfort in the person and is usually accompanied by cases of anxiety, stress or depression.
2. Delegate all decision making
Another of the most common beliefs in emotional dependence consists of believe that our partner will always make better decisions than us in any situation and that is why one avoids taking part in any responsibility, activity or opinion on one’s own initiative.
This way of thinking is totally irrational, since it consists of believing that the other person is the best at the task of “making decisions” in general, without taking into account the level of information or knowledge that they may have on the subject in question. question. That is, in this belief the action of decision-making is confused with a skill that can be applicable to any situation and does not depend on other skills or certain knowledge.
3. Fear of abandonment
In people with emotional dependence also The fear of being abandoned by one’s partner is very common, even if the person is not really happy in the current relationship or be aware that you are in a relationship with no future.
This irrational fear of abandonment creates toxic and unequal relationship dynamics in which the person is afraid of making any mistake, again for fear of being abandoned.
4. The belief that we must “compensate” for our lack of attractiveness
There are many beliefs that affect self-esteem in people who have emotional dependence, and among the most common we can find the idea that we need to be very actively involved in satisfying the other person to compensate for our lack of attractiveness
Emotional dependence is related to a very negative view of oneself, a view that normally does not coincide with reality and that increases over time as the dysfunctional relationship reinforces these limiting beliefs.
5. Idealize the other person
As indicated, emotional dependence is usually related to a loss of contact with reality and the belief in a series of illusory thoughts
Thus, it is common to believe that one’s partner is a perfect person without any flaws, that he knows everything and that he is special. Likewise, their defects tend to be minimized and negative or toxic behaviors are overlooked.
You may be interested: “Platonic love: a guide to loving in modern times”
6. Believe that happiness is in the other
People with emotional dependence tend to assume that they will not be happy if they are not with their partner, a fact that generates a lot of emotional discomfort in the long term
Again, this phenomenon has very negative psychological implications for the person, since by linking our own happiness outside of ourselves we live permanently worried and constantly afraid of being abandoned.
7. The belief that disagreement is terrible
Another of the classic signs of emotional dependence is experiencing great disappointment and a strong discomfort when faced with arguments or disagreements with your partner
That is why, in the long run, the emotionally dependent person ends up avoiding any type of conflict and chooses to agree with his or her partner in everything.
The submission towards the other partner in cases of emotional dependence is such that the person is usually afraid to give their own opinion so as not to bother their life partner.
In the same way, any demand that the partner may have is usually acceded to and people are more inclined to tolerate manipulations of all kinds, as well as physical or psychological abuse in the most serious cases.
Related article: “12 tips to better manage couple arguments”
8. Need to like
People with emotional dependence on their partner usually do everything possible to please the other person, since They do not assume that that person can be by their side because of a common history and everything they have experienced together as well as by the qualities of oneself that have been liked and have led to establishing that courtship or marriage.
This usually causes the dependent person to constantly change their mind and sometimes adapt their personality to their interlocutor in order to please the other person.
Thus, another of the essential characteristics of emotional dependence consists of the total renunciation of one’s own preferences, opinions, dreams or aspirations, as well as the renunciation of relationships with one’s friends or family.
This occurs because the dependent person usually considers that their preferences have no value and what really matters is what they think their partner wants.
Are you looking for psychological support?
Emotional dependence must be treated as soon as possible by a psychology professional, since in the long run it can significantly erode the person’s emotional well-being and generate a real mental health problem on several levels.
Whether in individual psychotherapy or couples therapy, there are effective forms of intervention to solve these types of problems. If you are interested in having psychological support for cases like this, I invite you to contact me.
