I No Longer Trust My Partner: What Do I Do?

Trust is one of the most important ingredients in a love story. There are different situations in which a person may feel that they distrust their partner. In this article that we published in Psicología-Online we analyze three examples that can serve as a reference. “I no longer trust my partner: what do I do? “If you feel identified with this question, try to identify what is the cause of what is happening to you and adopt a new attitude towards external events. Do not act with indifference, trusting that this fact will be solved without doing anything. You have to get involved to redirect this situation.

I don’t trust my partner because of his past

When you meet a person, their past is part of their biography. Like you, your partner has also had a previous personal history. Just as you would not like your partner to judge events that are part of your life, it is important that you prevent your partner’s past from becoming an obstacle to happiness in the present.

That doesn’t mean a person’s past can’t be significant in relation to a lack of trust. For example, if a person distrusts his partner because he knows of previous episodes in which he was unfaithful in different relationships, then the distrust is not conditioned solely by this point, but by the belief that he has not changed. That is, he thinks that he can repeat past behaviors in the present.

If you don’t trust your partner because of his past, try to objectively analyze what reasons you have for feeling that this chapter from yesterday affects you directly. For example, this reality can affect you if you feel that your partner is still the same person as he was then, that is, if you believe that he has not evolved compared to that moment.

What can you do if you don’t trust your partner because of his past?

• Identify what is that ingredient from your past that makes you especially suffer. What is your fear?
• Talk to your partner Dialogue around this topic can be therapeutic since it can give you its point of view and show itself to you in all its essence. For example, it may happen that through their words you realize that you have no reason to distrust.
• Have gratitude towards the past In reality, thanks to the path your partner has taken, he or she has arrived here. And in the current situation it is part of your life.

I don’t trust my partner and he doesn’t give me reason

If you do not trust your partner even though he objectively does not give you compelling reasons to do so, then it may be positive to ask for psychological help to overcome this emotional insecurity in your partner in a therapeutic process that allows you to know yourself better and go deeper. in your inner world.

If you don’t trust your partner but he doesn’t give you any reasons, it is important that you at least become aware of it. That is, you cannot hold him responsible for what happens to you. If on a rational level you are aware that although you do not trust your partner, it does not give you reason to doubt him, try repeating this message to yourself more frequently. Also share it with people you trust who know your story. Try to focus on the story as it is.

Focus on your present Perhaps your fear is conditioned by the vertigo of the uncertainty of the future. However, no one can know exactly what will happen five years from now. Therefore, set your mind and heart on the now.

I don’t trust my partner because he lied to me

• Lies produce an effect in the context of the relationship, they generate an emotional memory. In a situation of this type, it may be advisable to do couples therapy if you both agree to assume this commitment to resume the dialogue and do each of your part to restore confidence
• A person is not reduced to a specific action. What other virtues, values ​​and gestures do you admire in your partner? You can do the exercise of weighing all the good things you see in them against that specific lie.
• It is true that not all lies have the same dimension or produce the same effects. For this reason, based on what happened, you have to carry out the sincere exercise of reflecting on your desire to forgive (if your partner shows regret for what happened) or break up the relationship when you realize that, objectively, you do not feel prepared to regain trust after what happened.
• You can also give your partner some time since, in this way, you can assess whether your fear of him lying to you again is real or, on the contrary, it is just a form of mental noise that prevents you from enjoying yourself.

How to tell my partner that I don’t trust him

How to live this moment with hope?

• Find an intimate, quiet place to talk. Try to keep the conversation in a calm tone.
• Express the reasons why you don’t trust him, listen to what he has to tell you. Try to expand your mental map, avoid prejudices and assumptions, this way you will be able to better value your partner’s message.
• If you have already made a decision regarding this situation, then face that moment without waiting for things to magically change.

This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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