How To Overcome Infidelity And Continue With Your Partner

Can you overcome infidelity? How to overcome long-term infidelity? First of all, and although it may sound obvious, we must be clear about our decision. If your intention is to continue with the relationship, you should know that overcoming and forgiving infidelity involves being willing to do hard mental work. How to overcome infidelity and continue with your partner? How to forgive my husband or wife for infidelity? Thanks to psychology studies in this field, we can follow these tips to overcome infidelity :

1. Maintain a temporary distance

Whether it’s days, weeks or months. It is important to take some time for reflection to be able to properly decide how to deal with this situation. Each person follows their own rhythm and needs to trace their own path towards individual growth and emotional improvement. If when we find out about the infidelity we act as if nothing had happened, it is possible that we will never completely heal the wound.

2. Open the communication channel

Once the decision is made to move forward and forgive an infidelity, it is likely that we will go through a stage of pain where we still need to get out everything that is going on in our minds. If we want to continue with that person, it will be necessary to express our feelings and insecurities in order to restart the relationship on a basis of sincerity and communication. As much as it may hurt, it is necessary to talk about what happened with that person.

3. Start a new stage

If we want to learn to overcome infidelity and continue with our partner , it is essential to return with renewed energy and from a new perspective of the relationship. After analyzing the deception and how we have felt throughout the process, it is time to turn the page. Overcoming infidelity does not mean forgetting what happened but rather forgiving the other person and establishing new guidelines for a healthier relationship. He or she will also tell you what he or she wants in this new stage. With everything on the table, something solid can be built (as long as there is an agreement of absolute sincerity and trust).

4. Don’t use infidelity as a weapon

How to deal with infidelity? If we have decided to forgive It means that we have left that stage behind, therefore it is unnecessary, and inappropriate, to reproach infidelity when the stage of pain and disappointment has already been overcome. It is normal for there to be psychological consequences such as insecurity and fear for it to happen again. However, using deception as a weapon in an argument does not help you move forward in a relationship. How to overcome infidelity as a couple? If we want to move forward and build something strong and beautiful, we must learn to overcome resentment towards our partner.

5. Go to therapy to overcome infidelity

If the couple’s trust and communication are damaged, it will be useful to go to a specialist who will help you better understand the other and act in favor of the relationship. In the following article you will find more information on how to overcome infidelity in marriage.

There are many types of infidelity in a couple. In our culture, the most obvious deception involves sexual contact , kisses and other physical expressions of affection with another person. However, we can talk about emotional infidelity when our partner begins to feel emotions and flirt with another person without ever reaching physical contact.

Where is the line drawn between the freedom to relate to whoever we want and emotional infidelity? That is a matter of each couple and how the dynamics are lived within it. The important is don’t disrespect him to that person you love.

There are different ways of loving or loving a person: open relationships, polyamorous (more than two people), traditional relationships… Each of them requires different care and attention and only people who live in those relationships can establish with Clarity what is infidelity and what is not.

Is it possible to overcome emotional infidelity?

To know how to overcome emotional infidelity, it is important to work from self-love and self-esteem. Working on social skills in the couple will be essential if we want to fight and move forward with it.

In the event that we ourselves feel that we are being emotionally unfaithful, it is necessary that, even though nothing has happened on a physical level, we stop flirting with the other individual and talk openly with our partner about our feelings. feelings. We must reflect on why we have committed emotional infidelity and where we wanted to go with our actions.

Profile of the unfaithful woman and man

While it is true that there are several signs and behaviors that may be related to infidelity, there is no personality trait that confirms 100% whether a person will be unfaithful or not. If you have doubts about this, it is important that you talk to your partner and discover if there are signs of infidelity in his speech.

It is possible that we have decided to overcome an infidelity but we do not feel capable, either because of the pain caused or because of the insecurity that it will happen again. It is important to assess the benefits and problems that staying with our partner can cause us and put everything on a scale to make a rational decision.

Furthermore, it is not easy to know how to act after infidelity. Below we offer you some tips to know how to treat your partner after infidelity :

• Communication : As we have mentioned previously, talking openly with our partner can re-form the foundations of a sincere and healthy relationship.
• Cut off the relationship with the lover : Whether due to emotional or physical infidelity, the person with whom you have had a parallel relationship has no place in this process.
• Couple therapy : It has been scientifically proven that couples who have suffered a crisis have overcome it better if they have attended couples therapy.⁽¹⁾
• Create positive memories ⁽²⁾: Stop seeing our partner as an evil and unfaithful person and observe them as a human being who has made a big mistake, can help us a lot to trust again and generate new and positive experiences.

How to regain trust in your partner

How to regain trust after infidelity? We must also assess how the other person is behaving, if they really regret what has happened and are making positive changes in favor of your relationship or if, on the contrary, they become defensive and maintain behaviors similar to what they have done. produced infidelity.

If, despite everything, we do not feel psychologically prepared to continue with the relationship, we must make the decision to break up with that person and prevent them from continuing to harm us mentally. Strengthening the foundations of self-esteem is essential to achieve correct emotional well-being and it is possible that, on our path to personal growth, the person we considered so important will not accompany us.

To move forward in a relationship after infidelity, it is necessary to know how long it can take to forgive what happened. While it is true that each person goes through an individual process, many experts agree that A deception from one day to the next is not forgiven It is important that there is a space of time where we can reflect and emotionally process everything that happened. The following article that explains How to learn to forgive can help you.

During that time we can decide to be completely alone, surrounded by friends and even (if the situation is favorable) accompanied from time to time by our partner. A temporary separation can also mean going on dates again to talk about your feelings and observe how the bond between you develops. Once we notice that we are really ready, we can resume the relationship by following all the advice mentioned in this article.

It may happen that after considering all the factors, you notice that it is not possible to continue with your partner. You need to consider how to get over a breakup and move on after this painful experience. How to overcome infidelity and breakup? If you need more advice, you can visit this other article on how to overcome a breakup due to infidelity.

After infidelity, self-esteem can be seriously affected. Especially if self-esteem was no longer healthy, strong and stable before the infidelity. The impact on self-esteem also usually influences confidence and self-assurance.

On the other hand, infidelity implies loss : the idea we had of our partner may not be real, as well as the idea we had of the relationship. Every loss requires a grieving process, which includes anger and denial.

For all these reasons, infidelity may trigger discomfort and a psychological and emotional imbalance that requires professional help. It should be noted that it is possible and advisable to go to the psychologist preventively, before the situation overwhelms you. Anyway, if you detect these signs it’s time to ask for help:

• You have left aside some area of ​​your life: friends, family, work, etc.
• You do not feel able to carry out your daily activities.
• You continually compare yourself to your partner’s lovers or ex-partners.
• You put your partner’s needs before your own.
• You find it difficult to express your ideas and feelings to your partner.
• You want to forgive him because you don’t want to be alone.
• You want to change things about yourself to make your partner like you more.
• You believe that the infidelity was your fault.
• You think about how to get revenge.
• You want to leave the person but you don’t dare.
• The people around you are quite worried about you.

How going to a psychologist can help you

How will going to a psychologist help you after infidelity? It depends on your particular needs but, in general, it can help you:

• Observe the situation more objectively and accept it.
• Understand and learn to express your emotions.
• Restructure your thoughts, eliminating false beliefs and adopting more appropriate thoughts.
• Take responsibility for your actions and not those of others.
• Know yourself and treat yourself with kindness.
• Learn to communicate assertively, which can help you in communicating with your partner but also with other people.
• Position yourself proactively in front of reality, abandoning the role of victim.
• Increase your resilience and grow as a person in the face of unpleasant situations.

This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to overcome infidelity and continue with your partner we recommend that you enter our Couples Therapy category.