How to Know if My Partner is Possessive

As we already know, possessiveness is extremely negative because it generates a lot of discomfort in people and can even destroy a relationship. If you are constantly asking yourself the question to know if my partner is possessive, it is because, surely, you are having the feeling that something is not right with them and it is suffering in your relationship.

Possessiveness is related to jealousy and jealousy is closely linked to insecurity, fear and distrust. So if you suspect that what is happening is that your partner is being possessive of you but you are not totally sure about it, in this Online Psychology article, we are going to explain in detail what possessiveness consists of, what the characteristics of a possessive person and above all we are going to answer your question: How do I know if my partner is possessive?

Difference between possessiveness and love

There is a big difference between possessiveness and healthy love and it is important to know them to be able to identify what we are receiving or experiencing. Possessiveness is a self-destructive feeling that generates in the person who suffers from it many fears, insecurity and distrust towards the other, because they feel that they can be betrayed at any moment.

in possessiveness jealousy and selfishness arise which are directly proportional to the level of insecurity in the possessive person since they do not feel valuable enough and do not even accept themselves as they are. This type of feeling causes the possessive person to adopt a series of beliefs that end up becoming emotions and actions that are extremely destructive, which not only affect themselves but are also responsible for gradually ending the relationship. gradual.

When it comes to love, the opposite happens since in love there is truly a trust towards the other person, you feel a lot of comfort and tranquility being by their side, whether we are physically together or apart, so there is no room for jealousy. Egoism is not present either since in love we are happy for the well-being and happiness of the other person, there is a great desire to share with them and they are also given their personal space and freedom without affecting that of oneself.

Characteristics of a possessive person

Possessive people have a series of characteristics in common that we can base on when trying to identify them. Between the main features the following are found:

• They are extremely jealous. In this other article we help you learn to be less jealous with your partner.
• They constantly distrust the other person
• They are very insecure
• They tend to be very controlling
• They tend to blackmail and manipulate the other person
• They are selfish and are not happy with the well-being of others.
• They tend to be very dominant
• They have a constant fear that they may be betrayed.

How to know if my partner is possessive

To know if your partner is being possessive of you, think about these types of questions. If you identify with one or more of these situations, it is most likely that your suspicions that your partner is possessive are true.

• It controls you. He is constantly aware of what you do, knows perfectly all your schedules and activities and tries to make sure that you are really doing that and not something else that is out of routine. It also limits you when it comes to interacting with people, being aware of your social networks, of the people you talk to on your cell phone and with whom you interact. In short, he asks you for explanations all the time about what you do and the people you interact with.
• Jealousy. He/she is jealous of the people you get along with, your friends and even your family. He likes that you are with him (her) all or almost all the time and tries to get away from other important people in your life so that you can be by his side. When you are not together, he tries to stay in contact with you all the time just to make sure you are not cheating on him with someone else.
• Doesn’t take your opinion into account. He cares more about himself and seems to only look out for his own interests. When you give him your opinion about a topic or whether or not to do an activity, this is not taken into account and finally he ends up doing what he (she) wants.
• He is not happy about your achievements. You notice that every time something goes well for you, that someone congratulates you on your achievements, that you feel happy for some good situation that happened to you, instead of being happy for you, they are rather envious and even jealous. He doesn’t recognize your achievements and sometimes even tries to put you down.
• It “punishes” you. Every time you do or stop doing something he doesn’t want, he consciously makes you feel bad through “punishment.” For example, if you went out with your friend and he/she didn’t agree with you doing so, he/she stops talking to you for a while as a way to punish you for having done something against what he/she wanted.
• He doesn’t like you to stand out. If you notice that you stand out either in some activity, because of your physical beauty, etc. He is going to try in every way to overshadow you and change you. For example, if you are an attractive girl or boy, they will try to stop you from going out so dressed up so that you don’t attract so much attention. He does this due to the insecurity he has about himself since he thinks that you could easily meet someone better than him (her) and/or he simply does not want to feel “less” than you.
• He blackmails you emotionally. When you don’t want to do something that he/she wants, he/she usually puts emotional pressure on you to make you feel bad and ends up convincing you to do something that you didn’t agree with at first.
• You don’t feel free to do what you want. You do not feel free to make your own decisions since it generates fear and worry about what your partner may think and may not agree with.

This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

If you want to read more articles similar to How to know if my partner is possessive we recommend that you enter our Couples Therapy category.