How To Set An Example For Your Children: 6 Useful Tips
Parents are the greatest role models for children, especially when they are very young. They learn the way to behave with the world through their parents, whose behavior they do not question at practically any time.
Children learn everything from their parents, both the good and the bad. If parents respect the rules, have a healthy lifestyle and relate respectfully to others, their children will learn to do the same. On the other hand, adults do the opposite, children will also learn it.
Knowing how to set an example for your children is complicated It is not always right since parents, no matter how adults they are, are still humans who can make mistakes. Fortunately, you can be careful and do everything possible to be a good example for the little ones, an issue that we will talk about below.
The importance of setting an example for the little ones in the house
The German physicist Albert Einstein, probably the most iconic scientist in history, said “educating by example is not one way to educate, it is the only way.” Children learn by imitation, and the first people they copy in their actions, attitudes and comments are parents and other family members. Example is one of the best instruments that parents have to educate their children
Although we may not realize it, every father and mother sets an example for their children every day with everything they do. Young children are innocent beings, who rarely question what they see their parents do and say and, for them, their reference figures always do the right thing, whatever it may be. Every action that parents do, no matter how small, has a great impact on their children, especially in the way they organize reality and in their approach to others and everything around them.
Taking this into account, before recriminating our son or daughter, we must reflect and understand that it is quite likely that their behavior is due to our error. Boys and girls learn both the good and the bad from us and it is ironic that, by scolding them, we may be reproaching them for something they have seen us do on more than one occasion.
We do not always agree with what we preach and, no matter how young they are, children end up realizing it. It doesn’t make much sense for us to tell them not to lie, not to swear, to tidy their room and not to yell when we break these rules. Practice beats theory, and a thousand words are useless if our example is not consistent with them.
Therefore, as responsible, mature and self-controlled adults, we must monitor our actions and be aware of when we do it wrong. We have the right to fail, because to err is human, but to rectify is wise. If we commit a mistake, we must tell our son, explaining that we did it wrong and that he should not imitate that behavior that sometimes adults make mistakes.
How to set an example for your children: education strategies
There are many ways to set an example for your children. All actions that are correct, ethically appropriate, and respectful of others and the rules are good examples for educating children. We could give an almost infinite list of all types of actions that will help children learn values and become future adults who are good and respectful people, but we can highlight the following:
1. Tell the truth
Many parents truly believe that scolding their children when they lie is the best way to teach them not to commit this transgression. Telling lies is something that is considered unethical in most cultures. About three-quarters of parents say they teach their children that lying is wrong, but virtually all admit that they don’t always tell their children the truth.
It makes no sense for us to expect our children not to lie if we ourselves are the first to not be honest with them. When they realize that we have lied to them, they will end up seeing lying as something normal and, taking into account how they idolize their parents when they are very young, they will think that lying is something typical of good people.
By lying to them we lose the opportunity to educate certain values. For example, when we are in a supermarket and he throws a tantrum about wanting us to buy him candy, instead of lying to him saying “I don’t have money” we can tell him “there are many things that I would like to buy for myself, but I don’t because that’s the way it is.” “I can save so we can all go on vacation.”
Although praise is fine and encouraging our children is something that will help their self-esteem and psychological well-being, we cannot lie to them about their abilities By saying that they are better than they really are, we lose the opportunity to teach them the value of modesty and understand that each person has their strengths but also their weaknesses.
Many parents do everything possible to get their children to listen to them and, when they see that there is no way, they end up complaining and saying that their children do not listen to them. However, How many times does it happen that it is the adults who ignore the little ones? How many times have our children come to us excitedly to tell us something and we have answered them with a resounding “not now”?
It is difficult to get our children to listen to us if we often do not pay attention to them. Even if it costs us, the ideal thing is to take a moment to attend to them and tell them that right at that moment we cannot, but that in a while we will surely be able to and we will have all the time they need to tell us what they want to tell them.
So, They will value our time while they will see that we value their experiences, opinions and anything they have to tell us By listening to our children when we are talking, without ignoring them, we will ensure that, when we are the ones speaking, they are interested in what we tell them.
3. Don’t scream
It usually happens that on more than one occasion we tell our son not to scream, telling him so by shouting as loudly or louder than him. It is true that patience has a limit, but as parents we must make an effort to keep a cool mind and be rational.
Anger is contagious and parents are not immune to it If we lose our temper frequently, yelling and bellowing, our children will eventually learn that this is a normal way of communicating.
As a tip, if you see that you are getting angry, try to breathe, count to 10 and if nothing works, leave the room until you calm down. It is also important to be able to rest well, since lack of sleep increases anxiety and reduces patience.
4. Respect the rules
We want our children to follow the rules, but how many times have they seen you double parking? And sit in the reserved seats on the bus? Do you steal pens from your office? If so, you are certainly not teaching your children to respect the rules, since you are the first to transgress them.
These types of violations may seem harmless, but they actually have the consequence that We are teaching our children that it is okay to break the rules and even the law It will be very difficult for you to get your children to follow the rules at home if you do not respect them in the world outside.
You may be interested: “7 strategies to use positive discipline applied to parenting”
5. Do productive hobbies
Many parents complain that their children are lazy and waste time with unproductive hobbies. The truth is that no hobby is unproductive, while entertainment, as long as it is healthy, provides us with psychological well-being in most cases. The idea that video games, comics or series are useless and uncultured hobbies is so absurd that it is not worth wasting time discussing it.
However, if what we want is for our children to be “productive” and read, play sports or play an instrument, we will have to be the ones to start reading, playing sports or playing an instrument. Our hobbies will most likely end up being your hobbies
It is also worth saying that if we do not want our children to be hooked on mobile phones, computers and TV, it is up to us to set an example by staying away from these media. They can continue to be used for entertainment, but restricting the hours of use and also avoiding using them for more than two or three hours a day.
6. Show tolerance for frustration
This is a fundamental value to teach our children. If you are one of those parents who gets overwhelmed at the slightest, I have bad news for you: your children will be like that too. It is vitally important that you help your children tolerate the ups and downs of life whether it is due to one’s own error or one of another’s.
If they do not learn to manage their emotions in the face of adversity and inconvenience, they will be adults who will drown in a glass of water. We set an example by showing how we stand up in the face of adversity and, although we had a hard time, we do not give up looking for solutions, accepting that there are things that can be changed and others that cannot.
