Why Is It So Difficult For Us To Find A Stable Partner?
Our current way of life greatly complicates our ability to maintain quality relationships The daily stress, the lack of time, the continuous problems, the difficulty in meeting people… all of this makes it difficult to meet that person we long for.
However, culturally, we are taught and pressured to find a partner It is a symbol of success to have love in our life, and to have a “happy” family. This causes us to compare ourselves with others and not understand why others seem to have a wonderful life while ours is not.
Does having a partner really complete your life? Is that what you want? And if so, have you ever asked yourself what you would like that relationship to be like? If the answer to all those questions is yes and you can’t find that person you would like to have in your life, don’t stop reading this article.
Difficulties in finding a partner and long-term relationships
First of all, do you really want to have a partner or is it because of social pressure that you need one? This is something you really need to think about.
A life together involves sharing and living in balance. With love and serenity, sharing hobbies and enthusiasm. Building together and knowing that all relationships go through complicated moments, routines, fatigue and problems to overcome and work together so that love does not fail. Are you willing to do it? Or is it just because you are alone? Is it something you really want or do you feel like you have to do it because of social pressure?
It is as worthy to live “with” as “without” a partner It is your choice and you have the full right to choose what you really feel happy with. However, if it is something you want with all your might and you haven’t achieved it, or you haven’t achieved a healthy relationship, let’s analyze what may be happening.
What’s happening to us?
Sometimes, It is very difficult to find the right person for us What is the most difficult thing for you?
Whatever difficulty you encounter, we can examine it and find out how to solve it. In reality, many times we create problems ourselves, and that is something fundamental to be able to move forward. That is why, from psychology or a highly effective coaching process, we can find the root of the problem.
Usually, many of the difficulties are based on our fears: to failure, to compromise, to being betrayed, to not being loved, to being hurt… And this causes us to eliminate many people as candidates, or not even try to have those relationships.
There may also be the problem of a lack of self-esteem, shyness, lack of time, etc. These elements can lead us to these situations:
Why is it so difficult to find our “better half”?
Some aspects that influence our ability to establish stable relationships They are the following.
1. Our self-concept
If our self-concept is destructive, the product of low self-esteem with which we do not love ourselves or see ourselves as enough for anyone, this will cause fear of relating to others. It will also prevent us from exposing ourselves for fear of the opinions of others and being despised. That It will prevent us from having a good social network that allows us to create emotional ties and opportunities to meet that person that we long for.
2. Fear of failure
Fears paralyze us and prevent us from being successful in everything we undertake. This includes relationships with others. If we fear that it is going to go wrong, it will go wrong
3. Fear of being hurt
If we have had previous relationships in which we have suffered and we keep that suffering alive, It will be very difficult for us to allow anyone to get close to us or that we simply judge it objectively. We must learn from what happened to us, but not live forever in pain.
People with high introversion personal characteristics have greater difficulty (or resistance) in having social ties They have a harder time relating to others and do not have a good time in certain situations, causing avoidance behaviors and, sometimes, isolation.
5. Fear of commitment
Sharing our life with another person means changing ours. It means adapting two lives for the good of the union, and not all people are willing to make that change or adaptation. It may be something temporary (due to the moment we are living), or our independence prevails over everything and that is incompatible with having a stable partner.
How can you prepare to find and keep that partner?
If you really want to have a life as a couple, the first thing you should do is heal your wounds, whatever they may be. Strengthen yourself psychologically, work on unconditional self-esteem, develop social skills, clearly define what you want and what you can offer. All of this will ensure that you also have healthy relationships, without emotional dependence, and avoiding toxic relationships and/or abuse of others and ourselves.
In short, if we want others to love us, we must start by loving ourselves and offering our best version, in addition to preparing ourselves to overcome possible difficulties. To do this, it is very important to follow these guidelines.
1. Work on yourself (seek professional help if necessary)
It is better to dedicate some time and a small investment in your happiness than to spend your life regretting your bad luck or how bad everything is going for you.
2. Heal your wounds
Only if you overcome your past can you have a future. Analyze what happened and what you could change Don’t abuse yourself anymore or hurt people because of things that happened to you and you haven’t gotten over.
3. Overcome laziness and get out of your comfort zone
It’s hard to start over, but only if you try will you have a chance to succeed.
If you really want to find that person who complements you, keep in mind that this It is a path of resistance, not speed Try it, enjoy the people you meet, discard those who contribute nothing to you, laugh at what happens to you, enjoy the little moments. Success is not only in the result, it is also in what you do. Reward yourself for your attempts, for your progress. It all adds up. That person will arrive.
5. Is there harmony between what you are looking for and what you really need?
You must ask yourself these questions to know which person to choose and make the best decisions for your happiness and the happiness of the person with whom you share your life.
6. Generate reasonable expectations
Do not generate idyllic situations in your head Life is not fairy tales, life is the sum of many moments of happiness that sometimes escape us without even seeing or appreciating them.
7. Work with your internal dialogue and your beliefs
“I’m not going to be able to find anyone I like”, “it’s impossible for anyone to notice me”… Learn to question this guy’s beliefs.
8. Online searching is overwhelming
Applications of this type involve interacting with many people, which in turn, interact with each other. It is very important to manage this process in the most appropriate way.
How to make a relationship go well?
The objective of finding a partner is to build healthy relationships by managing and improving everything that we have been discussing throughout this article, that is: working on unconditional self-esteem, developing skills, working on our internal dialogue and strengthening ourselves.
If you want to have a completely happy relationship, click on the link where I show you several very effective guidelines for this.
And, if you decide to embark on this world, I can help you work in all these areas, in addition to generating strategies to find the partner you want, improve your communication processes, value yourself and others accordingly, manage anxiety and frustration, enhance your strengths, maximize achievements and minimize failures, help you with your dates, and finally find that person you have wanted so much. And above all, to maintain and take care of the relationship for which you have fought so hard. You can achieve everything you want. Only if you let your fears out, will you let your dreams in.
