Insecure Attachment: The Keys To Understanding And Repairing It

Childhood is a phase of life in which we are more sensitive to what surrounds us, for the good and the bad.

That is why during the first years it is important to guarantee the correct psychological development of children, both so that they are happy and to prevent problems that could leave a deep mark on them, difficult to overcome or that may even continue to be expressed in adulthood. .

In this article We will see what one of the psychological elements with the greatest capacity to slow down and harm the psychological development of boys and girls consists of: insecure attachment

Why is attachment important in the development of the child’s mind?

In the way we usually speak, attachment refers to an emotional predisposition to react with positive emotions to the presence of someone, and to seek the latter to feel good. However, in the field of psychology, this concept is a little more complex.

Thus, when from developmental psychology (one of the branches of behavioral science) we talk about attachment, we are referring to an element belonging to the theory of attachment, proposed by the psychiatrist John Bowlby in the mid-20th century This researcher investigated how the relational dynamics between fathers and/or mothers, on the one hand, and children, on the other, shape the way in which the latter learn to interact with the environment and with others.

So, Depending on the degree to which children become accustomed to seeking the proximity of these attachment figures (normally, fathers and mothers), they will internalize a more or less healthy way of exploring their environment or the world in general, as they grow. In fact, one of the implications of attachment theory is that this process is reflected in the actions of these boys and girls, but also in the actions they will carry out in the rest of their lives. Therefore, ensuring that they establish an adequate attachment will be a prevention and psychological protection factor against certain behavioral and emotional alterations.

Thus, in this sense, attachment is not just an emotional phenomenon of the here and now, but a set of psychological predispositions with a long history and evolution of childhood, and that arises from its relationship with its reference attachment figures, who are the primary caregivers.

What is insecure attachment?

As we have seen, Attachment is a key aspect in the evolution of children’s psychological capacities when interacting with the world This is because having a good relationship with the attachment figure allows for a balance between the freedom to explore the environment, on the one hand, and having the security of being able to return to the “refuge” of the caregiver, on the other.

This already gives us a clue as to what type of attachment is most appropriate for child development, and what is called “secure attachment.” Children who internalize it develop from their first years of life a balanced level of self-esteem that encourages them to continue learning on their own, without suffering anxiety problems or other emotional imbalances generated by uncertainty about what will happen.

Insecure attachment is, then, the other side of the coin Boys and girls who develop it cannot find a good fit between the challenges posed by their environment and their self-confidence or their ability to anticipate consequences and plan actions, on the other, and they frequently suffer emotional problems. It is a type of attachment that arises facilitated by inadequate or directly negligent parenting models on the part of fathers, mothers and/or guardians.

At the same time, Insecure attachment is divided into two possible types: avoidant attachment and ambivalent attachment In the first, the child ignores or avoids the attachment figure, giving him or her almost the same treatment as a person whom he knows little, as a result of a poorly committed or almost non-existent parenting model. In the second, he feels anxiety in the absence of the attachment figure, but having him next to him also feels discomfort and resists maintaining close contact, often expressing anger, which is facilitated by the lack of consistency and predictability in the actions of the caregiver.

Both types of insecure attachment often lead to dysfunctional ways of establishing relationships with others, both at work and in friendships and even relationships. That is why it is important both to apply a balanced parenting model adjusted to the needs of the children, and to go to psychotherapy if there are alterations derived from these problematic situations in the childhood stage.

In psychological therapy sessions we will work on aspects such as:

Do you want to have psychotherapeutic support?

If you are looking for psychotherapy services for yourself or your son or daughter or are interested in counseling services on parenting issues, contact us.

In Psychotools We have been helping families and people of all ages who have emotional or behavioral disorders for many years and we hold sessions both in person at our center located in the Barcelona district of Gràcia, and through video calls.