Bullying in class: what to do when others treat you badly
Bullying is a sadly current reality in the educational landscape. Today we will not focus on the reasons why these abusers appear, but on the reasons to maintain hope for those who suffer from this. verbal or physical violence that, to put it in a less dramatic word, they can feel stupid and be victims of those who will be social misfits in the future.
In the psychology of delinquency, it is studied that adolescents who as adults will have problems with social adaptation survive their lack of resources in social skills in school and institute with two strategies. They are the following.
What do bullies do to make you feel like an idiot?
1. Physically or verbally attacking other kids
Their weaknesses (lack of communication resources, a hostile family environment, low self-esteem) cause them to have to seek superiority with violence. The recipients of these attacks do not have to follow any pattern other than not being part of their group. That can make you feel giddy.
2. Get together with individuals with the same needs
Subjects who will have problems adjusting as adults due to their weaknesses come together at school and institute and form a group. hard core If you are not part of a group they will try to hurt you by making you feel alone and apart. That can make you feel giddy.
If you are one of those people who suffers from the lack of social skills of violent individuals who attack to defend their insecurity, there are four reasons to maintain hope. It is a hard process, but you can stop suffering from this harassment.
Because bullying is a real problem and suffering it doesn’t make you an idiot, it only turns you into a person who has to face an unfair, undeserved conflict that can help you become stronger. Here are four reasons why you should not lose hope.
Being a victim of bullying is not the end: reasons for optimism
Asking for help makes you stronger
One of the skills that is learned over the years is to ask for help. A mature and confident person himself is not afraid to assume that he has a problem and that that problem may be affecting him or overcoming him momentarily. Don’t be afraid to disappoint those around you or worry them. You are not responsible for what is happening and your environment is precisely there for cases like these.
The social support network will help you in different directions. First it will make you feel heard and cared for, so the feeling of loneliness It will fade away little by little. They can also advise you on the way to follow to solve the problem or which people to contact.
Yes or yes, seek the support of adults, preferably family members. Their experience and resources will help find solutions to the conflict. If you do not find that support in your family, do not hesitate to look for someone in charge of the center where you study.
Social skills can be developed
On many occasions the feeling of weakness in the face of conflict is marked by a lack of social skills. To be successful at a social level it is necessary to have those skills that help us manage conflicts or to have social success that makes us avoid those conflicts. The good news is that those skills can be learned Your own experiences will help you improve them, but if you want to change and have them well developed, there is even better news.
Not saying what bothers you, that shyness prevents you from expressing yourself freely, the excessive fear of not fitting in with the group, the ingenuity to express yourself with humor… soft skills are learned Among other things, psychologists and coaches help develop these skills so that you can face your social life with more confidence.
Valued traits change over time
As we said, all studies on the Psychology of Delinquency and Antisocial Behavior show that children and adolescents with aggressive or overly dominant behaviors are those who will have adaptation problems in the future.
During adolescence, strength, aggressiveness and intolerance may seem to be the most valued traits. But in a few years, in the adult society that rewards the values of sensitivity, intelligence, empathy, ingenuity, originality… Your traits that during adolescence may seem like a weakness will become some of your main assets.
Everything that now makes you feel different will turn in your favor and will be consolidated as a pillar of your social identity. Don’t be afraid to be different They try to appear equal to each other because they are afraid to be themselves. You are you. And that makes you very lucky.
What seems irreversible today will be a memory tomorrow
When we are in the middle of a conflict or problem, continued anxiety activates our metabolism and we secrete hormones at a very high rate. Our brain works double or triple what it should work. That feeling of activation causes us a focus on problems and we believe that our life will always be like this.
Well, as you get older you will realize that throughout our lives we face hundreds of situations that we believe to be definitive… and then they are not so definitive. When you leave him with a partner, you change jobs… we always believe that this change is permanent. And then it becomes just another memory. Life is constantly changing and dozens of very positive chapters await you. Trust that they will arrive.
