Relationships are made of habits, of shared situations that reinforce the bond of love that unites two people.
This means that in some cases, some couples can function “alone” simply because they manage to reach a state in which these habits are already spontaneously part of their daily lives. But in other cases, problems and conflicts appear that can be solved by modifying these shared routines.
If you are interested in this last topic, keep reading, because we will give a review of the keys for couples to work
The first thing to do is assume that you do not have total control of what happens in the relationship. This is important, because one thing is to do everything possible to make the emotional bond as strong as possible, not to adopt a controlling attitude over the other person.
So that, All the key ideas that we will see below must always be applied through consensus and constant communication, because if not, the situation will not only improve but will get worse. Let’s look at the tips to make relationships work.
If it is not clear what each person wants and expects from the relationship, it is inevitable that many conflicts will arise, some of them serious. Therefore, it is essential to communicate this honestly and directly, without leaving too much room for ambiguity.
2. Bet on assertiveness
For the relationship to work, it must be symmetrical: neither person has more power over the other. To do this, it is essential to adopt an assertive communication style.
And what exactly does assertive communication consist of? Basically, in express everything that needs to be expressed, without giving in to the fear of what others may think or of making someone angry or sad ; and do it respecting the other, even if what has to be said may be painful.
This balance means that marriages and dating relationships are strengthened, because none of the people involved have to carry the weight of keeping ideas, beliefs and feelings to themselves for what they believe is the common good.
3. Establish commitments
Any love relationship, due to the fact that it requires sacrifices with long-term objectives, requires a series of commitments. Therefore, they must be established and clarified, so that both of you always take them into account in the same way. This prevents many marriage and relationship crises that would have been easily avoidable
4. Highlight the positive
It is not healthy to ignore the positive aspects of the relationship and only talk about the negative ones. To have a global vision of what is happening and at the same time express love for the other, it is worth showing that satisfaction when the other person does something that we like.
Living in the same house does not make a relationship consolidate. In fact, If there is no communication or signs of affection, that can generate animosity and indifference for the person we fell in love with.
Therefore, it is important to make efforts to enjoy time together in which you can find meaningful ways to talk, express affection, have contact, and have intimacy.
6. Apply Emotional Intelligence to discussions
It is normal to argue from time to time. What you can do in these cases is not to lose sight of the nature of the love relationship you have, and not to fall into an ego fight to see who is right. Accept that we may feel frustrated and angry momentarily, but that no one wins by attacking the other
Therefore, when you think you are too angry to adopt constructive thinking in the face of a conflict, stop arguing and clear your head. When everything is due to a communication failure, clarify first of all what happened, give the other an opportunity to explain themselves. And when the cause of the argument is not an objective fact but an assumption, treat it as such.
7. Support each other taking into account your strengths and weaknesses
Finding a good fit in the relationship is, among other things, knowing how we can help the other. Therefore, it is a good idea have the other’s vulnerabilities identified, to offer support when they manifest
8. Count on each other for important plans
Many people wait too long before communicating important decisions to their partner. This not only creates resentment; In addition, it causes problems due to lack of coordination.
Not everything has to be shared It is very common to need time to be alone, without the company of others, to think, create or assimilate emotions. Therefore, these moments of introspection must be respected.
10. Accept help
That conflicts and crises may arise in a relationship does not mean that there is a rule by which you must face these problems without help. Couples therapy carried out by psychologists is an option to take into account since in these sessions you can learn the keys to redirect the situation, avoiding fueling drama and adopting a constructive and empathetic point of view.
