Lack Of Communication In A Couple: 8 Ways In Which It Is Expressed
A fundamental pillar to make the relationship last is communication. But not just any type of communication; It is necessary to learn to manage assertive and honest communication strategies to adequately deal with problems in living together as a couple.
In this article we are going to review the different ways in which the lack of communication in the couple negatively affects the love bond preventing a healthy development of the quality of life of its members and their way of interacting on a daily basis.
The importance of communication in romantic relationships
Couple unions are mainly based on trust to create a strong bond that keeps two people together, and communication is an intrinsic part of the process of trusting someone. when we trust we are able to express our feelings, emotions and opinions in a frank and open way with the other person.
In this way, you can understand why the lack of communication between the couple complicates the fact that the relationship works properly. Avoid uncomfortable topics and pretend the problems do not exist It is counterproductive, the ideal is to talk to find solutions, as well as keep the other person up to date with what you think and feel about all kinds of significant topics.
It is important that couples with communication problems are able to recognize this situation in time, so that they can look for the necessary tools with which to improve this aspect of their relationship. Otherwise, the emotional bond will become dysfunctional
Below we are going to review a list with the main consequences of the lack of communication in the relationship between couples; These are factors that erode the quality of the emotional bond and expose us more to misunderstandings and even arguments and conflicts.
1. Passive-aggressive attitude
The passive-aggressive communication model can significantly harm the couple in times of conflict. The passive-aggressive attitude is based on appearing composed, a calm expression, a moderate tone of voice, and pretending that nothing is happening when in reality we are irritated and we make it known in an indirect and ambiguous way.
If you are able to stay calm during arguments, prevent your words from being hurtful directly or indirectly ; It is not enough to maintain an appropriate tone of voice and good composure when what you say hurts the other person.
2. Not knowing how to listen
This problem represents one of the most common for couples, and is a consequence of the lack of communication in the relationship. It is common to see how in conversations people listen to respond, rather than to understand the message that the other person wants to send them. The longer this situation continues, the greater the negative consequences it will leave.
When this happens during arguments, they become increasingly heated, and a conclusive point is never reached, because the members of the couple constantly interrupt each other, preventing one from being able to express their points of view normally.
3. Anger problems
Difficulties controlling one’s own emotions, and especially anger, have a significant impact on the couple’s coexistence. This situation creates a vicious circle in which the feeling of anger makes us transmit ideas in the wrong way, and bad communication styles make us feel anger.
The best thing in this situation is to apply good emotional recognition, so that we can immediately know that we are angry and avoid acting or saying things for as long as this emotion persists. Thus, we will be the ones who control anger, and not the other way around.
4. Negative reviews
When we complain excessively and negatively about our partner, that reveals that we are doing something wrong in the communication process. The criticisms are linked to problematic circumstances that we have not been able to resolve.
If you don’t like something about your partner, it is best to tell them and find a solution together. But if instead what happens is that you criticize their behavior without having the slightest intention of solving the original conflict, it is time to rethink the communication styles that are used.
5. Ignore your partner
Ignore your partner It is the most obvious form of lack of communication that exists It is the total omission of any interest in improving the negative situation that damages the relationship. When we ignore, the implicit message we are sending is that we are not interested in doing something to improve the functioning of the relationship.
6. Disrespect
Offenses towards the couple only make the initial situation worse. Disrespecting others while having an argument is the equivalent of adding fuel to the fire. We generate a much more tense environment where anger and frustration take over the moment.
7. Stubborn attitude
Not giving in is one of the things that further distance us from adequate communication with our partner. Sometimes it is better to let our guard down and accept that perhaps we have acted excessively in some situation.
Doing this does not imply weakness or submission, on the contrary, it reflects that we are mature enough to understand that we are not always right and there are moments where we must accept that we have made mistakes, always learning from our mistakes.
8. Focus only on ourselves
While it is true that we should always have self-love and not allow our partner to be above our needs, it is also necessary to understand that relationships are between (at least) two people and we cannot only focus on ourselves.
The ideal is to learn to see the needs of the other as important as well, in order to reach adaptive agreements, which provide benefits to coexistence and generate an environment of equality in the couple.
What to do to solve it?
The possibility of attending couples therapy It should be one of the options that every couple who goes through these types of problems considers.
In these sessions, work to improve the quality of communication is a central aspect of the psychological intervention. The objective is not to find culprits and victims, nor to make them both simply vent, but rather to establish dynamics of communication and coexistence that take root in everyday life and beyond the sessions with the psychologist, so that the couple’s relationship gain new momentum, making both of you have resources to manage possible problems or crises that may arise in that love bond.
Of course, you have to worry about finding a good psychologist; In any case, keep in mind that it is better to opt for professionals trained in this area of ​​intervention, which has its own characteristics that do not occur in individualized psychotherapy.
