How To Stop Fighting With My Partner Constantly: 8 Tips
Relationships are always complicated, because living with people with whom you share a lot always is. Emotional involvement, expectations of future plans and the fact of having to divide tasks are potential sources of conflict, to which we also have to add other sacrifices related to courtship and marriage.
This makes many people think… How can I stop fighting so much with my partner on a daily basis? In this article we will see several tips on how to manage coexistence between people in love, making arguments less frequent.
Follow these guidelines to better regulate communication and emotions in your relationship, adapting these ideas to your specific case.
1. Control your expectations
You shouldn’t assume that the goal is to never argue with your partner again, because that is unrealistic. Adopting the expectation of maintaining an ideal relationship in which everything is constantly smiles can be, in itself, a cause of conflict, something that predisposes us to become frustrated and angry over any detail and imperfection.
2. Don’t keep anything important
The fact of avoiding conflict by hiding information is also something that can aggravate the problem, making the chain of lies created to hide that generate discomfort and eventually anger when unpleasant surprises appear.
There are those who confuse pointing out that the other has done something bad with humiliating the other because they have done something bad. The first is necessary so that this behavior is not repeated, but the second only serves to make the other person defensive, reaffirm yourself and believe that you have done nothing wrong
It is a phenomenon that occurs through a process known as cognitive dissonance: if the other person shows a very bad image of us, one that deserves ridicule, then the other person is wrong and as a consequence is not right in criticizing our behavior.
4. Avoid mixing reproaches
It is important that, when complaining about something, we refer only to what we are criticizing at that moment, and that we do not take advantage of that as an excuse to bring up the topic of a previous discussion in order to have more ammunition with which to attack the other. person. The latter is not honest does not serve to solve the problem and also encourages the appearance of conflicts.
5. Show affection
This is basic advice: since you love the other person, show it through everyday displays of affection. If not, the only thing that will be evident is frustration and discontent in the moments in which it is discussed, but not love. Therefore, the relationship can become a battlefield.
In short, it is important to be clear that love is not something that is taken for granted ; must be expressed.
6. Talk a lot about what happens to you
Another piece of advice on how to stop arguing so much is based on the idea that many times these confrontations occur due to a lack of communication. This causes one of the members of the couple to remain ignorant regarding a topic that if they knew about it they would consider important, and when they know about it, it makes them wonder why this lack of transparency is due: lack of trust? ? Inability to think about the other person? Disinterest in your point of view?
There are those who confuse humor with constantly ridiculing the other person. Not only does this not make sense, but in practice it can become something that significantly damages the couple, and in extreme and frequent cases can be considered a type of psychological abuse just as happens with gaslighting.
It’s one thing to laugh with a person, and the other is to laugh at the person. Humor cannot be a shield with which to cover cruelty and attacks on the dignity of others, because this generates frustration and anger, and what is more important, harms the victim.
8. Talk about your priorities
Knowing the other person’s concerns and interests is essential to understanding what moves them to act. Be aware of the mental world of the other allows you to draw up joint plans more easily and that a situation does not occur in which the needs of one are subjected to those of the other, with the consequent resentment and accumulated frustrations.
