How To Know If I Am Compatible With My Partner: 5 Tips
In the world of relationships, several logics are almost always at work. On the one hand, there is one that has to do with personal attraction and that gives us short-term incentives to stay with a person. This in itself is something that can sometimes be confusing, because it is not easy to analyze one’s own emotions.
On the other hand, there is the logic of material possibilities, which is everything that must be done to allow coexistence on a continuous basis: earning a salary, having time for one’s partner…
All this makes many people wonder… How do I know if I am compatible with my partner? Small day-to-day problems and conflicts may be just that, but they may also be symptoms of an incompatibility that is more difficult to remedy.
Keys to know if you are compatible with your partner
It is clear that each relationship is different, and there is no universal measuring stick that allows us to know the “quality” of a loving bond.
However, it is generally useful to look at a series of criteria or facets of a relationship to, seeing the severity of its problems, determine if there are incompatibilities. Let’s see it.
1. Is there sustained mutual respect?
This is the first criterion that we must look at to know if we are compatible with our partner. Respect is the basis of any non-antagonistic relationship and of course, in the specific case of love it is essential.
Thus, it is not only enough that there are no direct physical or verbal attacks. The habitual way of relating to others must be consistent with the value of respect, and sustained over time. The latter is very important, because even in relationships in which there is abuse, a cycle of violence can occur in which repentance is occasionally shown and a short time later, they attack again.
2. Do you have time to be together?
Each person has their own needs when it comes to establishing the minimum amount of time they want to spend with their partner, whether daily or weekly. Therefore, it is essential to stop and analyze whether these apparently different interests fit together, and whether the conditions exist for these expectations to be met.
For example, In long distance relationships this can be a problem but if a realistic plan is drawn up by which both people can spend quality time together, or one in which at a certain point the relationship stops being long-distance, in that case there is no reason to talk about incompatibility.
In any case, it is important to note that not all expressions of love compatibility have to be purely psychological or emotional in nature; others are material, such as the serious problems caused by endless work days.
3. Is everything based on physical attraction?
In youth, it is common to confuse love compatibility with mutual attraction based on the physical and aesthetic. This is a pattern of behavior that causes problems in the medium and long term
Precisely for this reason it is good to consider whether what keeps us united with our partner is the inertia of what began only with physical attraction. Although not technically an incompatibility, it is a source of probable future serious incompatibilities. Taking into account that most people consider relationships as a stable and very long-lasting bond, it doesn’t hurt to think about it.
4. Is there asymmetry in communication?
There are times when one of the people in the relationship adopts a markedly passive role when there are arguments or conflicts of interest. That is, making it appear that everything is more or less fine, although in practice it is not completely hidden. In these cases it may happen that the other person is interested in making explicit the reason for the problem, or that he or she assumes that in these cases the right thing to do is to do nothing, so that the conflict does not rise to the surface.
When both people have gotten used to this because They do not know how to deal with problems directly, that may constitute an incompatibility. In the long run, the will of one of the parties always prevails.
5. Are there realistic expectations about compatibility?
Paradoxically, obsessing over whether one is compatible with one’s partner or not can be an incompatibility if that leads to demanding that the other person conform almost perfectly to what is expected of them. It is important to assume that there is always small frictions between the interests of the people who have been involved in the relationship You cannot idealize the concept of lovers who complement each other perfectly.
Meeting the requirements we have seen does not guarantee that a relationship will work, but it gives a fairly realistic sample of its chances of thriving. Taking them into account regularly to see if everything is still going well is good, although we must aspire to make the love bond more than just a set of desirable objective characteristics.
Love and falling in love must be lived, not simply analyzed.
