If something is clear in the field of love, it is that interpreting our emotions is sometimes as complicated or more complicated than guessing what the person we are with feels. The human mind is complex and full of nuances, so, for example, one is not always clear about what he wants.
In the case of love this is especially true, and this is not necessarily bad, but when the relationship is very damaged, this inability to value what is really happening is counterproductive, since out of inertia we will tend to continue doing what we always do. Below we will see several guidelines about how to know when a relationship is over
In couple relationships, this is especially problematic not knowing how to recognize one’s own emotions, because inconsistencies and unpredictability regarding the objectives and motivations of each person can strain commitments. A certain level of tension is relatively normal in any relationship, but when it reaches a critical point, it is important to be aware that it is best to break up.
Because of the myth that love always involves suffering and sacrificing oneself for the other, there are those who, no matter what happens, They don’t even consider cutting and starting again autonomously, letting the other person go. But this is not the case: life is short, and there is no reason to bet everything on a specific relationship, indefinitely.
In the following lines you will find various aids to recognize where the limit of what is acceptable is However, keep in mind that it is not necessary for one of them to be met to have the legitimacy to cut. Each person is free to end a relationship if he feels it is best, for whatever reasons.
1. Assess if there is physical or psychological abuse
This is the first aspect to consider, since abuse is a very clear red line. However, victims of abuse often do not recognize their situation or even justify it, unless they stop to think carefully about what is happening. In this sense, psychological abuse can cause problems because sometimes it is somewhat ambiguous or requires a special context to be such.
2. Consider whether there is enough physical contact
Affection and love are expressed not only through words, but also with the sense of touch. However, in couples in which there is no longer love, this type of interaction is no longer a frequent habit.
3. Think about how much you care about “what they will say”
Some people stay with their partner simply because ending the relationship would cause a negative impact on the people around them. Peer pressure is surprisingly powerful and acts indirectly, even if no one has done anything to suggest pressure, simply from our expectations and what we imagine will happen if we return to singleness.
That is why it is worth stopping to think about whether at present one of the main reasons why the relationship continues to exist is the desire to please others, to give them a kind image of ourselves. Ultimately, one of the most direct solutions to the problem of how to know if the relationship has ended is to look at whether it is only supported by others, and not by ourselves.
4. Assess the frequency and intensity of fights
This is possibly one of the methods most followed by people who intend to find out whether or not it makes sense to continue with a relationship, and it is easy to know why. The fights are crisis with a relatively clear beginning and end and that is why it is easy to distinguish them from what is considered normality.
It’s true that strong arguments indicate tension and confrontation, but don’t let them completely capitalize on your concept of what a failed relationship is. As we are seeing, there are many other phenomena that denote problems in relational dynamics but that, being more discreet, can be overlooked.
5. Are basic agreements broken?
In every relationship there is a minimum level of commitment, as long as there is an intention for it to last beyond a few weeks or months. That is why it is important to look at whether they are fulfilled; this is a sign of the importance that each person gives to being in a relationship with the other.
6. Consider whether you can talk about what you feel with your partner
By definition, a relationship must be a two-way communicative link. It is not viable to have a partner and not being able to express important things to him that we would like him to know as long as this occurs due to their attitudes, because this means that there is no ability for the other person to adapt to variations in what we feel, or even to comfort us in difficult moments.
A relationship in which only “the facade” is taken into account, what we pretend to feel, is incredibly poor.
7. The other person has left us
It may seem silly, but Not everyone recognizes the moment when their partner ends the relationship They assume it is a joke, a strategy to create pressure, or a way to get revenge. But that’s not the case: when the other person hangs up, what is happening is just what it seems, and we have no right to pretend that we haven’t heard or to act as if we know better than the other person what they really want.
