Why Do We Find It Difficult To Maintain Eye Contact And Gaze When We Speak?

He eye contact It is one of the most important parts in our conversations. In fact, much more can be said through our body language and different types of looks than with our words. So, why can we find it difficult to keep our gaze on others?

What does it mean to avoid eye contact?

There are a number of reasons why a person may avoid eye contact or keep your eyes on others. Among the most common, we can find the following:

1. He is thinking about the conversation: Contrary to what we normally believe, the fact that a person we talk to don’t look us in the eyes It does not indicate that he is not paying attention to us or that he is lying, but rather that his brain cannot carry out both tasks at the same time. That is what Michio Naumura and Shogo Kajimura, psychologists at Kyoto University, have stated, who point out that concentrating on the conservation that is maintained with another person makes it difficult to pay attention to them, which is why eye contact is reduced. And the more complex the conversation, the more demanding the explanation given or the greater depth of analysis and understanding it requires on our part, the less we will look at our interlocutor.
2. Lack of selfesteem: When you They talk and don’t look at your face This can also be a sign that you are facing a self-esteem problem. In these cases, the person will try to avoid eye contact due to his insecurities with others.
3. Social anxiety: People who suffer from social anxiety disorder may also avoid eye contact The reason for this is that any type of gaze can make people who suffer from this disorder uncomfortable. This may be due to the fear they experience of being judged by others.
4. Deliberately ignore: When a person avoids looking into the eyes the meaning This gesture may also be related to trying to avoid a commitment to the other person or for fear of having the thoughts recognized. This happens because eye contact usually implies a type of connection with others.
5. Hide interest in others: He eye contact It can also denote interest. Especially when someone looks at you and lowers their gaze. In fact, when a person feels attracted to someone, they may try to avoid the other’s gaze for fear of rejection of their attraction.
6. Has the desire to escape: Avoid eye contact prolonged can also indicate a desire to escape from a specific situation. This happens especially when the person is talking but you notice that they are looking askance at the door or their watch.

Of course, we always start from the premise that the conversation is held between people as equals. Because when we speak with a superior, a boss or a person of higher level or relevance, this difficulty takes a backseat, since respect precisely makes it difficult for us to look each other in the eyes, even if the conversation is about a banal matter or barely. Let’s take part in it.

So, although eye contact It is a very important part of the speech, since it forces the listener to pay attention to what is being explained and denotes, on the part of the listener, respect and attention to the topic presented, in light of the above, the fact that our partner , partner or friend does not look us in the eyes when we talk to him, it does not mean that he is hiding something from us, that he is not sincere with us or that he barely pays attention to us. Quite the opposite: it may be this excess of attention and the importance of the conversation he has with us that prevents him from looking us in the eye.

If a person has problems with eye contact with others and this represents a difficulty in your life, in these cases it is important to go to a professional psychologist to deal with this type of problems in the social sphere.