The fact that the statement “love knows no age” has a very tempting touch of romanticism does not mean that it cannot be partly true and partly misleading. Although neither love nor passion are subject to a person’s age, it may influence the relationship in some way.
There are many elements that make up and influence a relationship, and couples with a large age difference may face a number of different risks to those of other types of couples.
There are many more couples with a large age difference than we usually perceive, since despite the fact that from a certain point in life the age difference goes more unnoticed.
Currently, despite the evolution of beliefs and prejudices, there are still a series of conventions within today’s society that They tend to judge these couples negatively, especially within their own family or group of friends.
It seems that if this age difference is perceived in partners other than the person, it is tolerated better than if it is touched closely. Good with a son or daughter, a brother or sister or a very close friend.
However, despite these social restrictions, Is the age difference between members of a couple a real problem for their relationship? According to an investigation published by the North American publication Atlantic Those couples with an age difference of 5 years or more were 18% more likely to end up separating.
Despite these data, there are many factors that can influence the correct development, or not, of a relationship, with age being only one of them. The social context, shared experiences, education and the values received by both members They will play a very important role in strengthening a bond between couples with a large age difference.
Therefore, age as a number in itself is not as important as the context in which each of the two members have been raised and lived, what ideology they possess or what values or thoughts they have on certain issues; and these differences can be present in all types of couples, regardless of their age.
Finally, although age is associated with a series of personal characteristics that may be a risk factor for the relationship, a relationship must be based on many other elements such as sexual complicity, complementary personalities and values and, most importantly, a common life project.
Risks in a couple with an age difference
As we have mentioned previously, age by itself does not have to be a barrier to maintaining a relationship. However, as in couples with very different cultures, a very different age between both members of the couple can lead to a series of external risk factors that indicate the possibilities of going through some conflict within the relationship
1. Family opposition
It is very common in couples with a large age difference that families and even the closest circle of friends They do not look favorably on your relationship with a much younger or much older partner
In these cases, the objective of each member of the couple will be to talk to their family members, explain the situation and make them change their way of seeing the relationship, in order to normalize the situation. Otherwise, this can be a real source of anguish for each of them, since they will not be able to share time together and may find themselves in the situation of having to choose between their partner or their family.
2. Differentiated social context
Although this can happen in any type of couple, it is common that there is a large age difference the social context of each one is very different and sometimes almost incompatible
The circles of friends and the type of environments they frequent can vary greatly between a person of 20 years old and another of 40, so if there is not an equitable distribution of the time spent with each person’s friends or hobbies shared In a balanced way, this can lead to long-term conflict within the couple, since one of them may think that they are sacrificing their hobbies or friends.
In the event that this happens, demonstrating a sincere interest in the tastes and hobbies of the other, even if these are relatively different from ours, will be an essential attitude to be able to compensate for these dissimilarities
A lively interest in the issues of others, even when, due to one’s own age, these issues “are very far away” in one’s current life experience, will be essential, but without falling into the self-deception of believing that they can be experienced as one’s own issues that only They can be lived with emotion when age and circumstances are right for it.
3. Differences in sexual performance or dynamics
Although there are currently hundreds of measures to maintain a satisfactory sexual life, it is true that Sexuality evolves and changes with age
For example, a man who is much older than his sexual partner may need more stimulation time and will possibly have somewhat lower performance, so if this fact is not faced in the correct way it can generate feelings of frustration or anguish. in it.
However, adequate rapport and an interest in satisfying the partner sexually will be of great help in avoiding possible complications. In the same way, with the help of sex therapy, these couples can enjoy an absolutely satisfying sex life.
As we have specified previously, these risk factors are external to the couple, so if they have a strong and healthy relationship and the rest of the elements of the relationship are relatively intact, none of the previous factors have to pose a real problem. .
4. Different short-term goals
Age is usually associated with different life goals, and sometimes these do not fit. For example, it is possible that the older person has a greater interest in having children or establishing the relationship, while the younger person tends to live relationships in a more liberal way, without so many ties. Managing this type of asymmetries is key
Is it the same in men as in women?
Although couples with a large age difference are generally subject to the judgment of society or the context that surrounds them, These moral or value judgments will not be the same if the woman is much older than if the man is
Differences in prejudice between men and women still appear in most areas of daily life, and relationships were no different. As a general rule, unions in which the woman is considerably older than the man tend to generate rejection from society. While if a mature man forms a couple with a much younger woman it is more socially acceptable and even a reason for admiration towards him.
This fact can also be a risk factor when it comes to maintaining a relationship, since the pressure that society exerts on women can make them think better, break up or deprive themselves of maintaining an emotional and sexual relationship with a woman. couple much younger than her.
