What Is A Couple Contract? 5 Benefits Of These Agreements In A Relationship
What are couples contracts and why do more and more relationships make them? How can these agreements benefit us within a relationship? Find out how to do them and what they entail.
Have you ever heard of a couple or love contract ? These agreements are a way to establish boundaries, the meaning of the relationship, as well as the desires or preferences of both parties. Although at first glance it may be an idea that many would reject, the reality is that it is a way to encourage communication and honesty within a relationship.
A love or couple contract It is a document written and even signed by two people who are in an intimate relationship. These types of agreements are a catalyst for a very honest conversation between both parties. Obviously, this is not a contract that is legally binding.
In a relationship contract The two people sit together and talk about what the couple really means to both of them. That is, what is important for them to feel safe, loved and cared for within the relationship. By writing everything down, both people can be clear about what they are looking for and want from each other.
Benefits of couple contracts
When writing a couple contract people can have these benefits in their relationship:
Honesty: Many times we do not talk about what we feel or desire from others. In fact, many social contracts are often cloaked in words like ‘you should already know this, since you know me’ or similar thoughts. When creating a boyfriend/girlfriend contract or marriage together, people can be transparent and honest with each other. By keeping things clear, this could avoid unnecessary fights, frustrations and internal resentments due to the honesty reflected in this contract.
Greater awareness of your partner’s needs: By having a love contract , people have the opportunity to have an extensive conversation about what it means to them to be loved. In this way, the physical, emotional and sexual needs within a relationship are made clear.
Improve communication: The couple contracts They also serve to improve communication within the relationship. The reason is that by having greater honesty, people feel more comfortable expressing their feelings, emotions, and thoughts more confidently.
Clearer limit: In many relationships, arguments are usually present because there is no clear idea about what the limits of each person are. In fact, many anger could be avoided if both the red lines in a relationship and the needs that each person has were discussed beforehand. That is, couples would save many misunderstandings.
Greater commitment: In some relationships there is no talk of commitment or future expectations. With a love contract, many people will be clear about the goals and intentions of both parties.
The couples contracts They are an aid to improve communication, assertiveness and honesty within a relationship. Thanks to them, couples can be clear about many things that will avoid frustrations, misunderstandings and arguments. Therefore, it is a good idea that perhaps we should consider if we feel that something is wrong in our relationship.
How to make a love contract?
If you want to try with your partner and make a contract, we recommend that you follow the following steps:
Focus on the benefits you want for your relationship : When two people who are in a relationship want to establish this type of contract, it is good to start by asking yourself what benefits you want to obtain by writing it. For example, perhaps you are looking for greater security and protection or you simply want to improve communication within the couple.
Set the limits: Another step you should do in a couple contract is identifying the limits of your relationship. That is, what is expected within the relationship and what is not.
Detail the balance in the relationship: That is, knowing what time they will dedicate to each other and how much time they will dedicate to themselves.
Rules for discussions: Arguments usually generate a lot of negativity and frustration in relationships if they are not carried out with respect. Therefore, establishing certain ‘rules’ for these moments when you are calm can help solve problems in a more assertive and healthy way.
Divide household chores: Although it may seem unnecessary, the reality is that household chores are often a source of conflict in many relationships. By having a contract, people can know what their responsibility is within household chores.
These are some tips you can follow when making your couple contract Even so, you must be clear that each link is a world and, therefore, these ‘rules’ must be different in each case. Additionally, you must keep in mind that for these agreements to work, it is necessary to review them over time, since in the same way that people change, so do relationships. If you think that within your relationship you need to learn to communicate better and solve your problems in a ‘healthier’ way, it may be a good idea to use a contract or even have the help of a mental health professional. The objective of the contract and of a relationship is for both parties to evolve.
