How To Help A Child Who Feels Rejected? 7 Useful Tips
Unfortunately, Nowadays there are many children who feel rejected They feel this way when they perceive that they are different, whether on a physical, verbal, behavioral, sentimental or intellectual level; to their peers, friends, children in class or sometimes with family members.
All those children who are to some extent “different” or stand out in some aspect compared to the rest of their classmates or friends are the ones who tend to suffer from being left out or ignored. Like, for example, the typical “chubby”, the “nerd”, the “mepipi”, the “snitch”… All of them are the ones most likely to be rejected. But it is not an essential requirement either, many children are rejected without having any of the characteristics mentioned above.
In this sense, the important question is… what should parents or family members do when they begin to sense this situation or if the child himself tells them directly? How or in what way can we help a child who feels rejected? Let’s look at several practical tips.
Based on our professional experience, at Psychologists Málaga PsicoAbreu we recommend these guidelines on how to help your child:
1. Strengthen communication
The first thing we must do is talk to the child, listen to him and understand how he feels It is important not to treat him or her as a victim or imply that it is an unfixable situation. For example, if you have not been invited to an excursion or party, it is essential to tell them that it would have been fun to go, but that there will surely be more parties or excursions. It is important that you understand, understand and express what you feel in case it happens again on another occasion.
On the other hand, it is important to explain to children (always adapting to their age) that if there is a classmate, friend or group that has left them aside, that they should not try to be their friend. You don’t have to force the situation, If that group of children does not accept him, there will surely be others who have the same tastes and feel more comfortable with them.
3. Help you understand rejection
It is also important to know the reason for the rejection Sometimes there are children who have negative or aggressive behavior, and that is why they stay away from it. Like, for example, if he gets angry when he loses in a game, if he doesn’t do what the child wants, if he answers wrong, etc. Therefore, it is important to find out and for the child to realize what is happening, to give him the necessary skills to solve it.
4. Work and improve social skills
Sometimes children feel rejected because they do not know how to relate to other classmates, or they do not understand non-verbal language well. They feel embarrassed when starting a conversation, or they simply don’t know.
Therefore, it is important to teach him some basic notions of how to relate to others, or how to respond to complicated situations (conflict resolution), work on and explain empathy, assertiveness, self-control, etc.
5. Strengthen self-esteem
Another aspect that would be essential to improve is strengthening self-esteem; When a child feels that rejection, her self-esteem automatically decreases. You begin to feel inferior and compare yourself to others That is why it is important for the child to feel that he is worth it, to downplay the issue of rejection and make him see that he is not alone, that he has his family and that he can make other friends.
It is important that he understands that being rejected is not something that arises in him, but that it simply happens because others are not like the child; Maybe they have other tastes than yours and probably what you have to do is try to find other children who like the same things as him.
6. Ask for help at school
If necessary, you have to talk to the teacher. Sometimes we do not know what happens in the classrooms, our children can tell us their version, but not know the reality
If after carrying out the previous advice we still have the suspicion that the child continues to have rejection problems, it would be advisable to talk to his tutor and have him tell us what is really happening, so that he himself can help us at school level, or even so that you can talk to other parents, if appropriate, to solve the problem.
7. Seek professional help in psychotherapy
And finally, another resource that would be very helpful if we see that our child is having a hard time would be to ask a professional for help. to give you the necessary tools and skills in case you find yourself in a similar situation again
Many children suffer rejection, and if this continues, it can turn into bullying. Therefore, it is important to detect it and solve the problem.
Many times parents do not have the necessary tools or do not know how to help their child, because they are not objective with their children. Therefore, it is essential that they apply the previous advice, and also ask for help for both the child and themselves. In the case of the child to provide them with communicative and problem-solving skills; and in the case of parents to receive more specific guidelines on how to help the child.
