The 9 Differences Between Love And Falling In Love
It is common that we often talk about love and falling in love, two terms that can be confused and seem synonymous but are not. Therefore, in this article we will explain what these differences are and the correct meaning of each of these concepts.
We also tend to think that love is related to romance, but this is not always the case. In the following lines you can find the differences between both phenomena.
1. Obsession, desire and addiction
Falling in love is a very intense feeling, which can develop quickly and which has a lot to do with the neurochemical cascade that occurs in our brain and which we explain to you in our article “The chemistry of love: a very powerful drug”.
Neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin or noradrenaline intervene in this neurochemical marriage, which is why it is often said that love (actually it should be falling in love) is like a drug.
Falling in love usually produces very intense emotions and the person experiences a kind of transformation in which their perception changes. That’s why they say that falling in love is blind, because the person idealizes the person in love with him/her, can’t stop thinking about him/her and feels full of energy. But this stage has a certain duration, and the brain, just as happens with drugs, gets used to it. It is there where relationships remain alive or not, where the most mature and rational love is demonstrated and where it is necessary to work so that the couple does not break up.
We usually use love and infatuation interchangeably. Although love and falling in love are not the same, not everything is romantic love either. There are, for example, mother’s love and self-love. That is to say, there are different ways to love
Furthermore, couple relationships can also be characterized by different types of love, as explained by the triangular theory of love proposed by psychologist Robert Sternberg, which you can learn about in our article “Sternberg’s triangular theory of love.”
3. Rationality
Both love and falling in love are complex phenomena, just like interpersonal loving relationships Since in falling in love the emotions are very intense and the neurochemical cascade occurs that affects the perception of individuals, it is also usually a more irrational phenomenon, in which the lover sees his partner as perfect, maximizing his positive attributes and minimizing its defects. However, love is more rational and the person does not feel that immense desire and obsession to be with the other person.
4. The passage of time
Falling in love can appear shortly after meeting the person, because expectations and physical attraction intervene, the mystery, etc. Love, on the other hand, is a motivation that takes time to appear and has more to do with affection and communication.
5. Image of perfection
Since love is more rational, it does not create that idyllic image of the other person On the other hand, falling in love makes us feel “high,” constantly thinking about the other person, whom we have on a pedestal. If you want to know the difference between falling in love and mature love, you can read our article “Mature love: why is the second love better than the first?”
When we meet someone and experience the stage of falling in love, it seems like we are on a cloud. It is similar to being in a manic phase and our perception of life is positive.
That person makes us feel high, as if time did not pass However, when we love someone, we feel a great love for that person, but we do not necessarily feel in a cloud, since their presence no longer triggers the intense reactions that it did during falling in love.
7. Depth or superficiality
Since falling in love usually appears more quickly and intensely than love, it can often be more superficial than love. Falling in love is characterized by being a love so intense that even madness can take over us
Love, on the other hand, has more to do with the depth of feelings, since it is purer and sanity predominates. After falling in love, love can come, but sometimes not.
8. Selfishness vs genuine intentions
Due to the depth of feelings, love also tends to produce more genuine and deeper intentions You just have to think about the love of mother and son.
9. Falling in love as a phase of love
Some authors affirm that romantic love has a series of phases The initial phase would refer to falling in love, and according to Dorothy Tennov, this phase is called Limerence. It is a stage in which lust, illusion and the strong desire to be with the other person predominate. Euphoria and positive mood are characteristic. So are obsession, fantasy thoughts, and fear of rejection.
Psychologists, sociologists and doctors have been interested in this complex phenomenon, to try to decipher its reasons, how it occurs and what its main characteristics are.
But… What does science say about love and falling in love? If you want to know the results of the latest scientific research in this regard, which allow us to decipher the great mystery of the influence of love and falling in love on our brain and our behavior, you can read our article “Love and falling in love: 7 surprising investigations”.
